Reprieve

 Reprieve - to give relief or deliverance to for a time

Yesterday had me anxious. I'm not sure that fully encompasses all that was going on....I was queasy and shaky and I missed my husband to the point of tears. I'm not trying to gain sympathy...just merely stating the facts. As I was preparing to go to the hospital the on-call doctor called me. While all of the doctors and staff have been very kind, this one had an abundance of compassion and empathy that I had not experienced. He told me about what time he would be doing rounds and the plan was to talk more then. He calmed my anxiousness.

I arrived at the hospital less nervous only to find my mom in horrific pain. She was moaning and gripping her sheets. Fear took over and I couldn't hold my tears. I felt absolutely helpless.....and I really was. As they got her pain under control another doctor came in. He was taking the place of the doctor I had talked to on the phone.

This is where God's provision became so clear.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

I do not give as the world gives....

I'm always mad at myself when I lack trust. Especially when I see the beautiful ways God orchestrates his plan. He knows me better than I know myself. This doctor had seen my mom before when she was in the hospital back in May. He remembered her and me. He sat down and took great care and we formed a plan using all the options he so patiently laid out. He was thorough and clear. He was helpful, direct and incredibly compassionate. What first was disappointment in not seeing the doctor I had talked to on the phone became gratitude when realizing that God had already set HIS plan in motion. It was personal, tailor-made and the most beautiful part....he planned for me a reprieve so that a care plan could be established going forward. There was no rushing, no pressure....zero apprehension......a much needed plan had been solidified.

Why do I fret? Why do I think I always have to do in my own power? Why can't I see God's past provisions to have confidence that he isn't going to "forget" this time? 1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, "The one who calls you IS faithful, and he WILL do it."

Though I know it....I falter....I slip and fall....but God's not surprised. He's building me. I'm a million piece puzzle....piece by piece he strategically places each one. It's a big puzzle. It takes a long time and a lot of work. Here's a really cool image God gave me this beautiful morning.....my puzzle is laid out before him...in my mind when it's complete it will look like my life lived.....my birth, my family, my marriage, my children, my grandchildren.....but that's not it at all! When my puzzle is completed it will be CHRIST!!! Each piece he places, through trials in this life, builds me into his image. God's word tells us to fix our eyes on that which is NOT seen for everything seen is temporary. (2 Cor 4:18)

".....to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22‭-‬24

So I ask you this question this morning? What does your puzzle look like? Who's building it? Are you building it alone....striving for all the right pieces? Are you disappointed when a piece goes missing? Are you really sad when you can't complete it?

Today is THE day. My mom is off to rehab. It's very unlikely that she will leave this facility unless it is to move to another. Her days of independent living are, sadly, over. She cried and I cried for her. Comfort care has been agreed on and papers signed. I know how it all works and while I'm necessarily concerned about her level of care I am so grateful for God's loving care to supply a reprieve...even if just for a day....to learn, make a plan and move forward.

Today will not be easy....please pray for my mom....these are hard days to accept. Pray God would do a mighty work in her heart and she would know the peace that passes all understanding. Pray for her care....that she would have compassionate caregivers.

Be blessed today.