I took Penelope to the walking trail last night for a bit of exercise. The reason I take her to a trail and not just around the neighborhood is because she needs socialization. She didn't get a great start, like a puppy deserves, so I've had a bit of work to do to teach her to feel safe and to trust. Each time we pass people and dogs she whines...on one hand she wants attention on the other she's fearful.
I began to ponder fear. I, like Miss P, didn't have a great start to life. Divorce and custody battles left me not knowing what was next...I became fearful and anxious....and so it began then, what would shape my life forever...operating out of a place of fear, a good deal of the time.
I remember, when raising my kids, wanting them to have, what I called "a healthy sense of fear" so to guide them in good decision making but not paralyzing them. Certainly not operating out of constant fear.
I've always wanted to get rid of fear. Cast it off like yesterday's garbage. Honestly, I hate it. I won't bore you with my "fear list". Suffice it to say, it's lengthy.
As I began to study, I thought I knew the answer, DON'T WORRY. God's Word is abundant with "don't worry" verses. Fear is addressed over 500 times in the King James Version. Maybe I'm not the only one with a problem?
I learned early in life to fear the consequences of my actions BEFORE I carried out those actions. And just like that, with one memory, God showed me that fear isn't always a bad emotion.
"WHEN I am afraid, I put my trust in you."Psalms 56:3
Why would fear be addressed in scripture if it was not an emotion we have?
Look at this verse.....written for me...I'm sure...
"In the multitude of my thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul."Psalm 94:19
In the multitude of my thoughts??? In times of great fear I'm not sure multitude is big enough. 😫
I get it! Fear is real. It's not something that plagues only me. I'm not alone. I'm not odd. I'm not the only one who struggles and I bet if I did a survey I'm not the only one who hates it and hates being driven by it. So now what?
The answer is easy but the execution is, for me, horrendously difficult. I don't have to go past Proverbs 3:5-6 for the answer:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."Proverbs 3:5-6
I began to think about what I'm doing with Miss P to develop confidence and trust and though she is a dog and I am a human the same principles apply.
I keep putting her in places where she is afraid. She, with confidence, trots ahead of me but then looks back to see if I'm still there. Sometimes she'll wait until I'm right beside her and then go again. When others approach she stays close beside me and I'm continually telling her, "it's okay". I reassure her. If she is untrusting of others she looks to me.
Let me rewrite that last paragraph:
God keeps putting me in places where I am afraid. I, with confidence, walk ahead of him but look back to see that he is still there. Sometimes I wait until he's right beside me then I go again. When others approach I stay close beside him and he continually tells me, "it's okay". He reassures me. If I am untrusting of others I look to him.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."1 Peter 5:7
As I watch Penelope, she is better than she was. She doesn't shake like a leaf nor does she hide like she did.
I am that way too. I don't hide from fear. I don't allow it to paralyze me. I don't allow it to keep me from making hard decisions. It's doesn't control me like it used to.
This I know for sure:
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..."2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV
One commentary talks of these strongholds:
This reliance on carnal methods and the habit of carnal thinking is a true stronghold. It stubbornly sets down deep roots in the heart and mind, and it colors all of our actions and thinking. It is hard to let go of the thinking that values the things and ways of this world, but God’s power really can break down these strongholds. (EWC)
Again and again, God takes my head knowledge and converts it to heart-knowing. How does he do it? Why, daily, do I seem to have these epiphanies? What's different?
Many, many months ago when I was fighting the silence and striving to find significance in the kingdom God clearly said, "No". When I stopped fighting, he began teaching and when he began to teach I began to listen and when I began to listen I began to hear and when I began to hear he began to show me things I couldn't imagine. I can't sit in his presence enough. My world is flipped. When I have to go out and tend to the necessary ..my desire is to learn more.
Such a gift.....when I stop fighting. Such a gift to learn to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I didn't say easy... there is definitely a need for perseverance....hardships happen....but Christ! Victory!
Have a beautiful day.
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