That you may abound in every good work....

 

Rest is defined as “peace, ease or refreshment.” 

So this is interesting...at least to me. Each day, usually at the close of it, I begin to ask God to reveal to me something that he was trying to show me....he has been so faithful since I began to intentionally pray that way a couple of months ago. As he gives me the words I write them down. As I began to pray last night, I really couldn't hear anything.

Yesterday I did not leave my house....at all....all day...all evening. God provided an amazing day to my mom. Pain was controlled, she ate well, physical therapy went well, at the end of the day SHE texted ME to sleep well.....God provided a good day for her SO THAT I could rest without worry. I didn't see it yesterday but as I ponder it....of course I see it now. Look at that definition for rest again..... peace, ease, refreshment. 

I had time. Time to clean my porch, do some ministry work, do some laundry for my mom, cook a meal for myself, crochet, read, write, play fetch with Penelope and just hang out. Is that why, at the end of the day, I thought I had no great epiphany to share? I mean I didn't leave my house. I didn't interact with any people. So how could God really show me anything.

But God......

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28 

See, when I stop believing that God KNOWS exactly what I need I miss what he is revealing to me. God orchestrated an incredibly quiet day for a worn out old lady. What does his word say? These familiar verses popped right into my mind:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."(Matt. 6:33)

And this one:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind’ (Matt. 22:37). 

And this one:

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

No one but me and Jesus, period. I don't need to be doing something or be surrounded by people for him to teach me or to reveal something to me.

Today didn't exactly start as I would have planned.....

I got up very early this morning and decided to slip back into bed for a bit to pray and think..... honestly that is very rare...even rarer that that "bit" turned into nearly two hours. Now I could beat myself up and think, "Geez Dianna, the day is half over!" Or I can thank God for providing me with exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. Times of refreshing will come but most of the time we don't see it or we refuse to and push through. 

Since I've begun to rekindle my homebody status I've found balance to be difficult. Well ....that might be a half truth..... nope....it's a lie 🤥 I want to stay home and embrace my inner homebody when I don't want to do the task at hand. I'm never not honest so here goes...I don't want to see my mom like this. I want to see the mom that makes bologna sandwiches slathered with butter and mayo. I want to see the mom who is cranking out her 500th blanket. I want to see the mom who delivers hot banana bread to her neighbors. I want to see the mom who laughs and loves like her very life depends on it. I want to turn back time for her. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want to see my mom like this. I want to go visit not because I HAVE to...not because it's an obligation...but because she's my mom and no matter what that is still true. Today is one of those days. Honestly, I'm already anxious. 😫 I'd love to stay home again today....but that is avoidance NOT God provided respite, right?

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

1 Corinthians 6:19‭-‬20 

I read this verse with a different heart this morning. Usually, for me, it's about physical health and while that is part of it, the other part is spiritual health. Yesterday God provided for me a day of spiritual fitness. Truly a much needed gift.....one HE knew I needed even if I didn't. It was a teaching moment and I don't have to be sad that I didn't see it yesterday..... I can rejoice that I saw it today!! God's not beating me up, rolling his eyes and thinking, "Will she EVER learn?" He loves me. He desires good things for me. He wants me to rest IN him and NOT be anxious. 

In the last six months I've thought more about the Israelites in the desert than I ever imagined I would. They would have rather gone back into slavery than to be free in the wilderness. Why? Because at least they weren't hungry. Isn't it funny what we'll trade for comfort? 

I am grateful for yesterday. I see now that God provided it for me to replenish me for today's uncomfortableness....these days are not going to be comfortable...these days are filled with growing pains....and they are going to grow me in ways I may not see immediately and maybe not until I get to heaven. But I must never take God out of the equation. 

".....one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Ephesians 4:6

Over ALL
Through ALL
In ALL

Today I'm going to try to walk in God's strength....purposely CHOOSING to not allow my mind and heart to travel further.

Be blessed today.

So God made a dog....

Psalm 121 asks, "Where does my help come from?" And the answer is: "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

How exactly? 

Psalm 16:8 answers the how AND the result. "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Yesterday God provided the where, how and the result in a very physical example. Nearly five months ago he sent to me a puppy.... I had no idea if I was making the right choice...if she was THE one or should I get a dog at all. One thing I now know for sure; she has helped in ways I could never have imagined. I was reminded of the popular 2013 Ram trucks commercial (a take off of Paul Harvey's 1978 speech "So God made a Farmer") called So God made a Dog. You can watch it here, try not to tear up 🥰

https://youtu.be/VDrabmm421I

Yesterday I took Miss Penelope Joy to visit my mom. I was praying she would bring a smile to my mom's face.....what I couldn't have imagined is that she would crawl up on her bed and snuggle in. She's a bit timid but she is also very smart! 🥰 It's like she has this ability, a sense if you will, that comfort was needed. Brings back memories of other dogs we've had, who would lay all day with someone who wasn't feeling well. I began to ponder what God might have been thinking when he created animals. I found a really touching article. Here are snippets from it with the link posted at the end.

"At the very beginning, God blessed the people He had made and commanded them, “Fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground” (Genesis 1:28).

"When a child maintains an aquarium, for example, he or she is reflecting the nature of God, to a certain extent. The child creates the environment for the fish to live in, maintains the habitat, and feeds and cares for the creatures in the tank."

"Keeping a pet, then, is a weighty responsibility—it is modeling the Creator and exercising dominion over a portion of creation."

"Pets also provide companionship, amusement, and unconditional love. It’s why pets are taken to hospitals and nursing homes to interact with people in need. Any animal that helps us show love more freely is a good thing."

Full article here:https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-pets.html

"Any animal that helps us show love more freely is a good thing."

I can't help but think AGAIN as I have over the last months that God will use what's in our hands to teach us, train us, grow us, enable us, provide for us ALL that we need. Yes, God will use a dog. He used Penelope to give my mom great joy and comfort and for me, he provided an "instrument" by which he blessed me. See, I could never have known five months ago that:

1. Life would turn in the ways that it has.
2. My mom would have a major health crisis.
3. I would get a dog
4. It would be Penelope
5. God would use her
6. I would not only give God all the glory for his amazing plan but that I would not even entertain the idea that credit be given to anyone other than God.

As I sit here on this cool, crisp morning I feel a bit like an excited teenager who has been gifted a car. I can never quite grasp how God works. His plan for me is unique TO ME. It is mine, it is personal. God already knew five months ago that he was going to send me a dog with a lot of personality, very smart and so unique in looks that people are drawn to her. He knew about my momma and he knew Penelope would bring her joy amidst very bad circumstances. And his reveals are timed perfectly. I could not have orchestrated a better plan. Why do I think I can?

Today is a day of rest. I have zero on my schedule.....a mental health day if you will. Ever so slowly I'm learning to balance this life. But more than that I'm learning that God will show me when to move and when to be still. His timing is perfect. I don't have to fret. Here's a short albeit personal realization.....my hair is beginning to fall out...again....this time I don't need to turn to medical professionals.....I know it's stress. I once had a doctor say, "You need to control your stress". I laughed....just how does one do that? What I know today are two things.

1. Stay as close to God as one can possibly be.
2. Take the time that is needed to do number one.

Today I'm so grateful. As I've tossed the ball over and over again I realized that just for me...for my own unique plan...

God sent a dog. ❤️

Be blessed today.

When not if....

 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

Isaiah 43:2 

I woke up early this morning praying today would not be like yesterday. Before I crawled out of bed, grudgingly, I thought of the above scripture. Notice it says, "WHEN you pass through the waters" and WHEN you pass through the rivers" and "WHEN you walk through the fire". There are no "ifs"......clearly it WILL happen. I can't avoid it, I can't wish it away, there is no secret spell or potion.....it's as exhausting to try to find a resolution as it is to live in it.

So I got up, turned around and looked at my bed and realized that it had not been made in a week. At my house that is unheard of. My standard operating procedure is get up, make the bed. Now you might say it's not big deal.....but, to me, making my bed is normal. Sure you could call it mundane, a chore, unnecessary....I mean life hasn't changed because my bed isn't made. So what? But my unmade bed is just the beginning of my shaken routine. Nothing is normal. Life upended. No routine, no rhythm. If you get up everyday and profess to "flying by the seat of your pants" I would argue that is just not true. Life has rhythm....so entreached we don't even think about it until it's not there. For me this means dishes in the sink, piles of laundry, unswept floors, dust you can write in.....all daily tasks that are usually done without even thinking about it. It's not the tasks that aren't done that bothers me. It's my very life turned upside down and inside out. 

I've been shook before.....so deeply crushed that I didn't care if anything got done ever again...but slowly I realized that routine is a good thing.....and this time I CRAVE it. Sometimes I wonder how God came up with this plan for my life and how he thinks it will grow and mature me in him. Did my husband have to die....did my dad have to die....did my brother have to move away all those years ago to set in motion that I would be alone to take care of my mother and her needs and all totaled, be who he saw in my unformed body? I'm guessing the answer is yes. My mom asks, "why?" every time I see her. I don't ask that question anymore....there is no answer for me but knowing Christ, so surely there is zero rhyme or reason to someone who does not know him.

John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In this world I WILL have trouble...but look at the promises in God's word: 

I HAVE overcome the world!! I WILL be with you! The rivers WILL NOT sweep over you! You WILL NOT be burned! I did a bit of research and found many sources agreeing that there are over 7,000 promises in God's Word. There are 31,173 verses in the Bible. A promise nearly every 4 to 5 verses. I found that to be an amazing statistic. 

Walking with God does not promise a perfect, pain free life. We live in a fallen world....a world full of bad choices at best and devastating, life changing decisions at worst. Life IS hard. Life IS sad. Life IS uncertain. Life IS painful. Life IS unpredictable. Life WILL shake routine. Life WILL destroy our rhythm. Amidst MUCH joy there WILL be much sorrow. 

ONE thing I can count on 100% of the time is this: God is on the throne!! And he promises I will not drown...even when it feels like it. Even when life is upside down. Even when routine is shattered. Even when the rhythm of life is interrupted.

I've read that one of the hardest things for a child when taking care of an elderly parent is self-care. This is true in all parts of life. If you're a mother you know how hard it is to take care of your own needs once you have a child. Taking care of oneself seems selfish. We must sacrifice ourselves on the alter of wonder woman. The sooner we learn that that is a lie of the enemy the better able we become in taking care of self.

How do you do it? I'm not sure. I know how NOT to do it......make yourself so sick with worry that you are gagging to the point of vomiting....live in panic of all the "what ifs" and projecting all the things you think will happen when you really have no idea. And the consistent thought that will not leave your mind, if my beloved was here he would rescue me.....pull me down from the ceiling. Yesterday was a hard day. Today is a new day. The waters DID rush over me but I did not drown. The fire DID lap at my heals but I did not get burnt. 

My mom keeps thinking she will get better. She cries when it still hurts and I have to gently remind her it's not going to. See, she passed that on to me. I, too, want it all to go away miraculously! This trial may end tomorrow or next year or five years from now....I don't know. I either learn to live in God's promises or by my own doing, I WILL drown.

As I sit here this morning, I'm already a tad nervous. I feel like the last couple of years I've been in one uncomfortable circumstance after another.....actually that IS true...not just something I'm feeling.....I HATE it but I cannot argue that I AM growing and changing. As I begin to teach and lead this Fall, there is no doubt God is equipping me. Why? Why this way? No sense in even asking the question. There is no answer I would understand. And it is not for me to understand...it is my opportunity to take it all in and learn from it. God, what are you trying to teach me? How are you trying to grow me? How does this trial make me more like you? And here's a really big question that I'm asking today......how can I do what I need to do AND take care of myself? How do I restore the "normal" rhythms of my life while taking care of the current circumstances? 

"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (Psalm 13:2) David may start this way, pouring his heart out to God....where are you? When will I see You? Is this forever? What I love about God is his broad shoulders. He desires to hear our broken hearts. He can handle our anger and sadness. He wants that kind of relationship with us. And when we are ready, he speaks...and we hear him....and in ways I'll never understand we begin to praise him IN the storm. David ends his lament this way: "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."

My time with Jesus each morning is so precious to me. I always, always feel better, more equipped and ready to start my day. 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

Lamentations 3:22‭-‬24 

Today, I'm going to rest in knowing that God's got it even if it doesn't all look like I think it should. I've already made my bed....maybe I'll tackle that sink full of dishes. Normal is good. Rhythm CAN happen even in uncertainty.

Be blessed today.

Trust

 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6

My mom got moved and settled into rehab.....I was so apprehensive....when we got there her room was not prepared...the transport people made up her bed....they said, "It's not worth it to ask." 😳 Then they quickly said, "Oh, she'll be fine." Staff, what there was, pretty much ignored us. 😳😳😳 I had so many questions but nobody came. 😳😳😳😳 I'm praying, "Lord, please show me this is not what it seems". Finally, I go out to the nurses desk and as I began to ask questions another woman walked up. I began telling them, passionately, what I wanted most for my mom.....the management of her pain. The biggest problem is that the pain is not from the hip repair, which is why she is there, but her foot. I shared with them bit a of who my mom is. It's important for them not to assume she is a patient with dementia. I told them that two short months ago she was cooking and baking banana bread. Her aide decided she would have to stay longer and they'd get her into the kitchen. 😊 We laughed, the ice was broken....awkwardness abated.

Her aide began to do the routine "stuff".....with three masks and a face shield on. When I told her it was okay to remove them she promptly responded, "Oh no I cant." Apprehension reared it's head again. I could barely hear or understand her.....mom never would. 🥺 All the stories you hear come flooding in.....I thought I would vomit right there on the spot.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11‭-‬13

She asked if mom needed anything...was she hungry....too warm, too hot....she decided on MacDonald's.....before I left I asked the aid for her TV remote. She went and found one....handed it to me and said, "You'll have to handle this one. I don't watch TV." I joked with her "Never", I said. Then she said this....."Nope! I work two jobs. 7 to 3 and 3 to 11, I go to church and I read my Bible.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
Psalm 37:5

I followed her out of the room and told her that my mom is not saved. To which she replied, "Everyone is born into sin." I told her I wanted nothing more than for my mom to know the Lord so she should feel free to talk about God all she wanted!! We both chuckled but deep down I felt my heart say, "Thank you Lord for your amazing provision."

I went to McDonald's for our dinner and to the store for some pretty, fresh nighties, returned to enjoy dinner and heartfelt conversation. She agreed to call me (she promised) if anything happened or felt wrong. Our agreed upon goal is that she'll work really hard and we'll get her out of there and hopefully back to a familiar setting. I'm beginning to look at some alternative options for help and care. She is my momma and she deserves the best.

Today I'm going to take Miss P in for a visit. It's a new day, new mercies.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."
Isaiah 26:3‭-‬4

Perfect peace.....I'm going to rest there today.

Happy Celebration Sunday!

Reprieve

 Reprieve - to give relief or deliverance to for a time

Yesterday had me anxious. I'm not sure that fully encompasses all that was going on....I was queasy and shaky and I missed my husband to the point of tears. I'm not trying to gain sympathy...just merely stating the facts. As I was preparing to go to the hospital the on-call doctor called me. While all of the doctors and staff have been very kind, this one had an abundance of compassion and empathy that I had not experienced. He told me about what time he would be doing rounds and the plan was to talk more then. He calmed my anxiousness.

I arrived at the hospital less nervous only to find my mom in horrific pain. She was moaning and gripping her sheets. Fear took over and I couldn't hold my tears. I felt absolutely helpless.....and I really was. As they got her pain under control another doctor came in. He was taking the place of the doctor I had talked to on the phone.

This is where God's provision became so clear.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

I do not give as the world gives....

I'm always mad at myself when I lack trust. Especially when I see the beautiful ways God orchestrates his plan. He knows me better than I know myself. This doctor had seen my mom before when she was in the hospital back in May. He remembered her and me. He sat down and took great care and we formed a plan using all the options he so patiently laid out. He was thorough and clear. He was helpful, direct and incredibly compassionate. What first was disappointment in not seeing the doctor I had talked to on the phone became gratitude when realizing that God had already set HIS plan in motion. It was personal, tailor-made and the most beautiful part....he planned for me a reprieve so that a care plan could be established going forward. There was no rushing, no pressure....zero apprehension......a much needed plan had been solidified.

Why do I fret? Why do I think I always have to do in my own power? Why can't I see God's past provisions to have confidence that he isn't going to "forget" this time? 1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, "The one who calls you IS faithful, and he WILL do it."

Though I know it....I falter....I slip and fall....but God's not surprised. He's building me. I'm a million piece puzzle....piece by piece he strategically places each one. It's a big puzzle. It takes a long time and a lot of work. Here's a really cool image God gave me this beautiful morning.....my puzzle is laid out before him...in my mind when it's complete it will look like my life lived.....my birth, my family, my marriage, my children, my grandchildren.....but that's not it at all! When my puzzle is completed it will be CHRIST!!! Each piece he places, through trials in this life, builds me into his image. God's word tells us to fix our eyes on that which is NOT seen for everything seen is temporary. (2 Cor 4:18)

".....to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22‭-‬24

So I ask you this question this morning? What does your puzzle look like? Who's building it? Are you building it alone....striving for all the right pieces? Are you disappointed when a piece goes missing? Are you really sad when you can't complete it?

Today is THE day. My mom is off to rehab. It's very unlikely that she will leave this facility unless it is to move to another. Her days of independent living are, sadly, over. She cried and I cried for her. Comfort care has been agreed on and papers signed. I know how it all works and while I'm necessarily concerned about her level of care I am so grateful for God's loving care to supply a reprieve...even if just for a day....to learn, make a plan and move forward.

Today will not be easy....please pray for my mom....these are hard days to accept. Pray God would do a mighty work in her heart and she would know the peace that passes all understanding. Pray for her care....that she would have compassionate caregivers.

Be blessed today.

Do not be anxious....

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6‭-‬7

I'm praying these verses this morning......I.AM.ANXIOUS.........Today may be the day my mom is moved to a skilled nursing facility. I have read reviews and have heard personal accounts....all mixed, some good, some mediocre, some bad and some so bad I wouldn't subject my dog to them. I am struggling......

You know what I noticed? There's a bit of that cool breeze I love so early in the morning, the sun is rising, the birds are, again, doing their thing, Penelope is chasing down the scent of the squirrels and I'm having a cup of hot tea and time before the Lord. Everything appears as it did yesterday and the day before and the day before that.....and I thought to myself, "God IS faithful".

"When I am afraid I will put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3

When earthly circumstances are uncertain look to that which isn't, God's faithfulness!!

He will never leave me, he will never forsake me, period.

Never is defined as at no time in the past or future; on no occasion; not ever.

I've read reviews and researched.... everything is subjective. What one thinks is wonderful may be adequate to another and still horrendous to another. Leaves me zero peace. If she is moved today one of the hardest things I will have to do in a long, long time is walk out that door and leave her there.

Yet, God is still on the throne. Nothing that happens is without his knowledge but where is the peace that passes all understanding?

Look at the definition of anxious - experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

While fear itself is mentioned over 500 times words like trouble, heaviness, distress, cares and anxiousness are also mentioned. Suffice it to say this emotion I'm feeling this morning is not new to me and certainly not absent from God's Word.

Those who don't know the Lord might think all anxiety, worry and fear magically disappear when you come to faith.....not so!

It takes great determination and tremendous courage to turn from those emotions to God's provision. In fact, that great determination and tremendous courage are not self manufactured, they come from God himself. When I believe myself to be self sufficient ...well, that's when I become anxious.

Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."

Catch that word "never"?

I know in my reasonable mind that I CANNOT do this day in my own strength. I CANNOT make decisions based on my self determination. I CANNOT control my emotions with my own power. I CANNOT fabricate enough patience, peace or courage to sustain me today or in the days to come.

Today, when it feels like I may drown, I'm going to tuck Psalm 121 in my heart. Even though I don't have it memorized completely I can remember, "Where does my help come from?" In fact, I can even write it on the palm of my hand.....as a constant reminder....

Ya know..... it's kinda funny (not funny) as I sit here pondering and praying, I realize how much I'm striving to make this day less difficult. I'm gearing up for an anticipated hard day. Taking the Lord with me - his Word literally written on my hand. Good girl Dianna! You've got it all figured out. Nice plan. As if I have any idea what the day even holds. 🤦🏻‍♀️

See that's where I stumble....thinking about what I can do in my own strength to make myself feel better.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and HE WILL sustain you; HE WILL NEVER let the righteous be shaken."

NEVER! That is a promise.

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."
2 Peter 3:9

Sometimes I wonder why my mom is suffering. My comfort is that perhaps he's waiting for her to turn to him. He is patient. He wants her. He's trying to reach her. And maybe, just maybe, I can begin to see it's really not about me and my comfort at all. And there's that peace....

I've been asked, "Why do you write?" I guess I really always thought the answer was because I like to...and don't get me wrong I do.. but this morning I realized for the first time that it is the instrument by which God teaches me. He allows me to pour out my heart about how anxious and uncomfortable I am and shows me, gently, that it's not about me at all. He shows me a bit of the bigger picture. If I can focus on God working in my MOM to bring her to him instead of focusing on how I hate all the hard decisions and my weaknesses....I will rejoice in what he's doing rather than lament about how he's doing it.

Have a blessed day.

While it was still dark....

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."

Mark 1:35

Yesterday morning I slept an extra two hours. I haven't done that in....well....I can't remember. And because life is rather crazy right now and there were phone calls with physicians and social workers, those extra two hours of sleep cost me my much needed quiet time with the Lord.

There is definitely a reason Jesus got up before dark to sit before his Father and pray.

"After a long day, we would certainly excuse Jesus for sleeping in. Yet He, having risen a long while before daylight, made less time for sleep and more time for prayer." (EWC)

Spurgeon says this:

“Look no man in the face till thou hast seen the face of God. Speak thou with none till thou hast had speech with the Most High.”

Scripture says this:

"In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."
Psalms 5:3

What I've realized about the importance of early morning quiet time is this:

•It is really quiet
•There are no distractions
•I am rested
•I can hear His voice
•It's a great way to start the day

Something else I've realized.....if I miss the morning time.....I rarely get back to it. I just can't settle all the thoughts of the day to quiet myself.

That all said, God isn't upset with me. He isn't shaking his finger saying, "Shame on you Missy."

God desires to meet with us. He is always ready and available. He is our comforter. He abundantly supplies strength, courage, power, wisdom....he IS our ALL in ALL.

Now this is Dianna speaking here, I NEED that quiet with him because it sets the trajectory of my path.

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in ALL things at ALL times, having ALL that you need, you will abound in every good work."
2 Corinthians 9:8

ALL things
ALL times
ALL needs

I don't know about anyone else but most of the time when I do things in my own power it doesn't go well. Oh, sometimes it does but I must be very careful not to get too confident and self-sufficient.

Yesterday I never made my way back to sitting quietly.....while it happens and I'm not going to beat myself up over it (nor is God) I can't help but think I missed something. I remember when my beloved would go on his annual fishing trip. In the "old days" you paid an arm and a leg to call from Canada to the US so we didn't talk everyday. I remember how much I disliked that. He was so far away and I didn't know what was going on.

I never have to feel that way with my Father. He is available 24/7 100% of the time. He's available in Ohio and Africa. He's available at 5:00 am and midnight. Like I missed my husband then, I miss my Jesus now. When you develop close, personal, intimate, relationships you really don't want a day to go by when you're not in communion with them.

Even friendships are built on time and attention given to one another. We should care if our friends are going through a hard time. We should want them to know they are being prayed for. We should foster a trust and certainty that we will be there for them.

God IS all of those things to us and SO much more. The desire to want that and the sadness when I miss it are a testament to what he means to me.

Though I wasn't raised in the church I know this hymn. A Closer Walk with Thee. How? I suspect it was the old country music that played in our house. Country music has always had a "religious twist".....I might not have understood the true meaning but I knew the words.

What beautiful words:

I am weak but Thou art strong
Jesus keep me from all wrong
I'll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee

Just a closer walk with Thee
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea
Daily walking close to Thee
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be

When my feeble life is o'er
Time for me will be no more
Guide me gently, safely o'er
To Thy kingdom's shore, to Thy shore

Just a closer walk with Thee
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea
Daily walking close to Thee
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:29

A gentle and humble man calls, "Come sit with me and I will give you rest."

"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."
Psalm 73:28

Refuge is described as shelter or protection from danger or distress. Who would not want that refuge?

Though yesterday's extra two hours of sleep were much needed amidst the current trial, I'm grateful that I didn't have a "tomorrow Lord" attitude. That I felt I had missed something he was going to show me. That when I don't set aside time with him I know I'm missing that which I not only desire but desperately need. I'm profoundly thankful to wake early this morning and find him waiting for me.

He IS a faithful God.

The neighbor's chickens are especially vocal this morning. Makes my heart happy to watch this young couple care for them and nurture them. Don't laugh... but I watch them respond to the young woman's loving touch. This morning she crouched down with her baby in hand and as his little feet touched the grass they came running to her.
Such a beautiful picture of how my heavenly Father loves and cares for me. He is intentional. He is faithful. He is loving. He is gentle. He is kind. He is patient. He is rest. He is comfort. He is strength. He is courage. He is wisdom. He is power. I go running to him!! He cares for me and nutures me!!

I hear him in the gentle breeze this morning. What a wonderful way to start another day. Thank you Lord that you woke me before the sun. The dawn of a new day, hot cup of my favorite tea and quiet time in your presence is exactly what I needed. But, of course, you already knew that.

Be blessed today.

Do not be deceived....

".....but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
James 1:14‭-‬15

Sleep was periodic, at best, last night. I went to the book of James two different times during the night and allowed the app to read to me until I slept. God brought to mind this old saying as I laid there listening, "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." I'm not sure where this is going nor the correlation between the verse and the saying....why God brought it to mind...eh....stranger things have happened than God weaving two things together...so here goes ...

The quote is from the best selling writer of novels, plays, and poems, Sir Walter Scott. It is a part of his epic poem, Marmion, A Tale of Flodden Field.

The meaning is simply what it says: When you lie or act dishonestly you are initiating problems and a domino affect of complications will eventually run out of control.

So going back to James....evil desires are defined as any desire that stems from the flesh, which is the sinful nature. 1 John 2:16 described it this way: 

"For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world."

We so deceive ourselves by explaining away our evil desires as a new normal. Times have changed! Right? This is acceptable. Right? The Bible says THAT? Oh, that's not really what it means. That was a long time ago. We twist words to our own understanding, we become deceived and so it begins.

Deception is defined as the act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid.

Here is a great example of deceiving oneself: The little white lie. 😳 Nobody will get hurt. I'll actually save them from being hurt. I've been more of a part of "trying to spare someone's feelings" than I care to admit. And it wasn't really about sparing feelings....it was about sparing MY uncomfortableness in having to tell the truth. Just ever so slightly bending a detail....just a teeny bit. No one will know, feelings won't get hurt, I'm not uncomfortable, all is well, no harm no foul, it's all good. Life goes on. Phew...dodged a bullet.....maybe.....rarely 😕

But look again at that definition of deception - the act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid.

You know what is so dangerous? Sometimes it actually does "work" and when it does it gives a sense of confidence that we've escaped.... and the next time we do it again......oh that crafty serpent.

I've been dragged away by my own evil desire to escape being uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is described as feeling unease or awkwardness. So to escape it we fabricate our own story. 

How foolish to think that evil desire will not give birth to sin.

Have you been here? 

You repeat something told to you in confidence... no worries, you told a "trustworthy" person and they repeat it to a "trustworthy" person...and now what....how terribly uncomfortable it is when you're confronted with having repeated that which was told to you in confidence. Being confronted about breaking a confidence is one of the most uncomfortable positions one can ever be in. 😫You have two choices: 1. Own it 2. Deny it.

I learned very early in life the consequences of the tangled web. It snowballs until friendships are broken and families are destroyed. 

Owning one's "big mouth" and humbling oneself is not only hard, it's embarrassing.....and the saddest part is, even when you own it, while reconciliation can happen, there is no guarantee of restoration.

Reconciliation is the removing of obstacles or the clearing of walls that are built in response to strife and disappointed expectations.

God's word says:

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Colossians 3:13

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32

True but not easy....

Restoration is the improvement and expansion of the precious relationship. 

So let's examine the two choices:

#1 Own it

With God's help relationships can be reconciled if both parties are 

willing. And can I say, being part of biblical restoration is really beautiful. There's a humbling admission of wrong doing.....a heartfelt asking of forgiveness and finally restoration. And look at that definition of restoration. Improvement and expansion. Yes! Better than before!

On the other side....

#2 Deny it

There cannot be even a beginning of reconciliation or restoration if there is not truth. And not all relationships can be restored to what they once were. In some cases that's really sad and some it is God's plan. Sometimes relationships are unhealthy and God is removing you and moving you towards something else.. It doesn't mean we understand it and that it doesn't hurt. It actually can be quite painful. But again, if there isn't truth..there can't be restoration.

What we can do is this:

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."
Hebrews 12:14

I've been on both sides. Where restoration has not happened and where God's plan of biblical restoration has played out just as he laid it out in his Word. One so painful and the other so incredibly beautiful.

Not to rewrite scripture ever...simply the weaving together of God's truth and the truth of an old saying: 

Oh what a tangled web we weave when evil desire is conceived. Once conceived sin bears it's head and what once was alive is now dead.

I cannot testify enough to the blessings of sitting at his feet each morning. What an awesome God.

Be blessed today.

Quick to listen...

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
James 1:19‭-‬20

•Quick to listen

•Slow to speak

•Slow to become angry

I thought of this verse yesterday as I was dealing with my mom, her surgery, the hospital staff and the extreme lack of information and communication. 

I'll be transparent here...I was quick to anger, quick to speak and slow to listen. And to explain it all would be more than anyone wants to hear. Suffice it to say God challenged me with those two verses until I sat down last night and took a breath.

All said, mom's surgery was typical, went very well....thank you to everyone who prayed for her. Recovery will be complicated considering her foot issue. I find myself, again, in a position of not being able to plan but simply having to force myself to be still and be in the moment. 

I'm sitting on my porch, this morning, it's a dismal day....yet I wish I could sit here all day. To some it will sound terrible....I don't want to go..that's just that transparency shining through.....still others will completely understand....

There are no more conversations that invoke laughter...or memories....there's pain, resignation, talk about rehab, recovery...talk about complications, the unknown.... there's SO.MUCH.UNCERTAINTY! It's sad and it's exhausting. It's end of life issues while life is still going on. 

If I didn't truly believe that God is trying to teach me something, grow me in understanding or simply help me to feel his presence at all times.... surely I would go crazy. But, as I sit at his feet this morning, I realize all the ways he IS teaching me, he IS growing me and he IS present. He wastes nothing...not even the really hard stuff. He will never leave me. He is my strength, my ever present help in trouble. Because I know this to be true, I can face today with his courage, his strength, his wisdom, his provision.

I can barely fathom how I could walk this journey without my Jesus...yet my mom is. I'm sad for her that she is now trying to do everything in her own strength and her own resolve and her own will. And I'm watching it all fade away....without Christ we can NOT sustain the fight....those who know him know it...but those who don't, fight until the fight is gone. 

Today I'm going to try to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. It's a new day....to be his hands and feet....it's a new day to shine Christ.

I would covet prayers again for God's will for my mom and for me, that I could be strong in decision making, kind in dealing with people and compassionate and understanding with my mom.

Have a blessed day.

Trust over fear....

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"
Psalms 56:3‭-‬4

I'm sitting on my porch this beautiful Sunday morning...there's a bit of coolness in the air that feels so good...and the birds.... singing to the Lord like it's their job....when actually.....well.....it IS their "job". They have zero fear. They have no "what ifs". They aren't waiting for anything. They are present. In the moment. Doing what they do.

I am waiting....not with anticipation but with trepidation. My mom fell and broke her hip. I'm waiting for the hospital to call with her surgery time. I got up very early so I can be ready when they call. I thought, "God, I'm just going to open my Bible this morning." My thoughts are scattered, my stomach is turning, I'm anxious, scared....there is literally NOTHING I can do ... absolutely nothing. So I pray....Funny isn't it, it's not that it's a last resort, it's not that I haven't been praying and it's not that praying doesn't help....and it's not that prayer isn't comforting....but just that getting to the end of anything you can physically do is a weird place. At some point God causes a stillness, a halting of activity and says, "Come to me." He's not mad. It's not a correction. It's just time.

I don't know if my mom will make it and if she does what her quality of life will be. Though lots of conversations have happened, I am still uncertain if she knows where she's going. If she doesn't I am at peace that I answered every call and was obedient to speak truth. She told me she just wanted to die. She said she has no propose and is of no use to anyone. Then I listen to my daughter cry as she says, "What if I never get to see her again?" And my beautiful granddaughter at 14, cry as if her tender heart will break. And my kids, sad for me as they put themselves in the place of losing a mother after having already lost their dad. How is it she doesn't see her worth?

I contemplate what life without a mother will look like. I will be an orphan and a widow.......Of course one can't imagine the permanancy of death before it happens and it's not to be compared to the deaths of my beloved, my dad or my friends. She's my mother. She gave me life. She nurtured me, grew me up and she loved me at the deepest level like no other. 

So I opened my Bible and this verse was circled. No surprise that a verse about being afraid is circled. And no surprise that it was exactly what God wanted me to see.....in the waiting. And further down is verse 11 which is also circled AND highlighted in bright yellow:

"....in God I trust and I will not afraid. What can man do to me?"
Psalms 56:11

I don't know what today holds but I know who holds it. Waiting is really hard. Uncertainty is really hard. What I do know is the enemy is ready to take me to a place I do not want to go. He's crouching by the door just waiting for a small crack in my armor so he can slither in and cause chaos. 

Please pray first and foremost that God's will would prevail. Pray for my mom that she would finally experience the Peace she's never known before and pray for me that I would continually turn my eyes toward the One who holds me and provides ALL of my needs.

Harken back to the garden.....

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

I was sitting on my couch last night and Penelope was laying beside me sound asleep.....not a care in the world. The first thing I thought was she's so peaceful. Then I thought - nobody had to tell her it's time to rest. She just did it! She puts in a very active day....fetching, chasing squirrels, going for walks..... and at the end of the day she just stops. She's not fretting about whether she's going to be able to get a good night's sleep or what she's going to get in to tomorrow.....she's not consumed with worry, if I'll be here, feed her, love her. She's simply resting. As if to heave a heavy sigh of "all is well".

My thoughts began to turn to me. Lord knows I've been weary and burdened....Hmmmm.... I might actually stay in that state for long periods of time....he also knows of the hundreds of times I have NOT entered into his rest or even sought him for rest. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Rest is defined as peace, ease or refreshment. Genesis, talks about rest. God created for six days and rested on the seventh.

It's sad for me, that I proclaim to love the Lord with all of my mind, heart, soul and strength yet rarely...rarely do I feel at peace, at ease or refreshed.

So how do I get this rest? 

Is it faith? What does it do?

"......faith that enables us to enter into God’s rest is a faith that first demands that we rest from relying on our own works."

However ....

"We also “make every effort to enter that rest” by choosing to depend solely on God, to trust Him implicitly, to yield totally to the promises of God through the free grace of His salvation."

How?

"....by first understanding our total inability to enter God’s rest on our own."

How?

".....by our total faith in the sacrifice of Christ and complete obedience to God and His will."

That circle begins with faith and ends with ...well.....faith.

This quote really struck me:

"God’s rest is a state, or place, where God rules and manages his creation, free from the chaos and disorder brought about by sin and rebellion. All who will rest from their own work of bringing their own life under control can enter into God’s rest."
Ed Jarrett (Christianity.com)

The Garden of Eden represented God's rest. Until man destroyed it by their disobedience. Adam's rebellion ended his rest.....and sadly ours.

"The orderliness of the garden was replaced with a world that will require much effort to survive. A world of disorder. God’s rest is now only a memory."

And here is a portion of this article that gives me such a beautiful picture of what rest should truly look like and how I might get there:

"At one level the Sabbath is a time to cease from our own work; to rest. But it would also seem to be an invitation from God to participate in his own rest. To harken back to the garden. To be in fellowship with God, leaving the chaos of this world behind for a time. And to look forward to a time when we can once again reside in the garden, free from the labors of this world, and reveling in God’s presence."

Think of little children. They have the most vivid imaginations. Somewhere along the line....we grow up. We realize that life is tough, the world isn't fair....and we lose our ability to use our imagination.

Imagination is defined as the ability of the mind to be creative or resourceful.

Let's go on a journey of the imagination or should I say my imagination...it's all I've got...😊

"Harken back to the garden." 

I close my eyes and picture the garden. Breathtaking flowers, trees for miles, streams flowing.....so much to take in that it sends shivers down my spine. I think, "I'm going to live here someday!!" The sunshine is pure. It feels, on my bare skin, like something I can't explain. It's oh so quiet and I recall hearing about this peace that passes all understanding and I realize I'm living it! Every bird, every animal and every creature are present, living in harmony. I am not at all fearful of them. They are friendly...at least I feel that they are. There's a euphoria existing unexplainable....And then out of the quiet because it is incredibly quiet... I hear someone calling my name , "Dianna! Come!" And I RUN because the voice is familiar. I know Jesus is waiting. He draws me to him. I'm not anxious about knowing the way because he knows and I don't have to. I just follow his voice. The minute I see him I feel love pouring from him like a waterfall. I am drenched from head to toe. I am his and he is mine. I say, 'Yes Lord, I'm here". He walks with me in the garden. He asks me about my heart. The conversation is easy. Though he created me and knows everything about me he asks me about things. Things I thought I had stored so deeply in my heart that nobody knew...but HE knows and he desires to have that intimate relationship with me. He already knows what I try to hide yet he wants to free my mind from it. And the freedom is beyond explanation....and imagination. All that I knew, all the burdens and struggles aren't just gone from the present ..they are simply gone like they never existed.

I don't want to leave.....

And as I opened my eyes I realized I don't have to. I can live there NOW. I can enter the garden of God's rest and never leave. Easy? Nope. It takes work. It takes turning everything over to him that causes separation between us. It takes an abundance of faith and trust. But it is NOT unreachable nor inaccessible. It is a choice!! What do I choose? Chaos or Rest? 

Can I encourage you to close your eyes and harken back to the Garden. Reinvigorate your imagination. Write it down, tape it to your mirror, put it in your wallet, remind yourself that IN CHRIST we already have Eden.

Happy Celebration Sunday ❤️

Seek FIRST his kingdom....

"Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."
Psalms 9:10

Oh I KNOW this....but how's the working out going? 😏

One of the biggest things I struggle with is trust. I trust completely, get burned....and it hurts......I'm a bit insecure to repeat.

Insecurity is defined as lacking confidence or trust, whether in ourselves or someone else.

Hmmmm......lacking confidence finding it hard to trust and being insecure....isn't that the triangle of death when professing to be a Christ follower? All three are diametrically opposed to one who calls Jesus Lord. Right? 

For my lesson today....God used my puppy.....again 🥰

Enter Miss Penelope. Every time I attempt to make my bed with her IN the room she becomes a crazy dog, jumping and playing....at least when I had cats I could make them up in the bed and move on. 🙄 Not with Miss P! So I close the door for the less than two minutes it takes me to make the bed. She's on the other side scratching and whining and when I open the door she bounds in and cries like it's literally been HOURS! It's no different than if I am actually gone for hours. She's insecure. She lacks trust that I'm on the other side of the door. You might guess at this point where I'm going so I should just stop.....nah, I need it in writing for the next time ....as a reminder. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Jesus says, "I stand at the c and knock. If anyone would hear my voice and open the door I will come in and eat with them and them with me." (Revelation 3:20) Unlike Penelope, Jesus had the ability to open the door and walk right in.....or....not open the door and walk right in. 😳

I asked myself, every time I fret and worry, every time I'm scared or untrusting, every time I lack confidence do I respond by opening the door? Do I let him in? Do I think about him at all? He NEVER moves from the door nor will he ever enter univited.

This passage is referring to the unbeliever. Jesus was talking to the church in Laodicea. They were lukewarm. He truly wishes none to perish so he never leaves the door and is continually working through life's circumstances to show us who he is. A couple of quotes I read gave me pause for deep thought...

#1 - The key to opening the door is to first hear His voice. When we give attention to what Jesus says, then we can be rescued from our own lukewarmness and enter into a “zealous” relationship with Him. (EWC)

I am a Christ follower. But how often do I turn from seeking his voice? HEARING his voice? How often do I intentionally make my own choices? Seek my own comfort? 

#2 - The occupant must open the door. That is, he must repent of his pride and self-sufficiency, his human wisdom, and his cowardly neutrality.” (H. Morris)

Yes, an unbeliever must do these things to be saved. But as a believer I am responsible to be repentant of my pride and self-sufficiency as well. 

#3 - “Christ stands - waits long, at the door of the sinner’s heart; he knocks - uses judgments, mercies, reproofs, exhortations, to induce sinners to repent and turn to him; he lifts up his voice - calls loudly by his word, ministers, and Spirit.” (Clarke)

I think there is a belief that once you become a believer you become perfect.....sin no longer crouches at your door. Life is easy and nothing bad will happen. But, again, God will use life's circumstances to draw you to him and draw you back to him.

John Piper says this:

"The most penetrating and devastating definition of sin that I am aware of in Scripture is the last part of Romans 14:23: "Whatever is not from faith is sin." The reason it is penetrating is that it goes to the root of all sinful actions and attitudes, namely, THE FAILURE TO TRUST GOD." 

OUCH!

I don't like feeling insecure......I want to trust and I desire greatly to have the confidence to eliminate the former and hold tightly to the latter.

Simple to write it here...so, SO much harder to do.

How many times must we be told? The word trust and variations of it appear nearly 200 times in God's Word...it's important! We are to DO it! But how?

Matthew 6:33 - Seek FIRST the kingdom of God

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Matthew 6:19 - Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth

John 3:30 - He must increase, but I must decrease.

Colossians 3:1- Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth

Proverbs 3:6 - Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

That's how you do it! Seeking God first, opening the door and inviting him in to your struggles, your fears, your worries, your hardships BEFORE trying to solve everything on your own. That is the key. Not the key of locking away the harsh realities of this world but the key to peace that passes all understanding IN the circumstances.

I ask myself this question this morning? How quick do I turn? How quick do I hear his voice? I'm not EVER going to learn it perfectly. Am I running to the door as passionately as Penelope came through it? I should be! The MOMENT I need counsel, in my mind's eye I should open the door, ask him in and sit at his feet. Jesus WANTS to enter because YOU invite him to come in.

If you don't know Jesus, OPEN THE DOOR and experience life changing grace. If you DO know Him, OPEN THE DOOR to comfort and wisdom and courage and strength and power and peace. Open the door to the One who will walk with you in the valley and stand with you on the mountain top.....The One who will never leave you. The One who keeps his promises. 

Seeing him face to face? What a day that will be!!

Be blessed today.

Two are better than one......

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."
Ecclesiastes 4:9‭-‬10

I was walking Penelope last evening.... trust me I KNOW she's a dog....but God....he will use what's in our hand to teach us, show us and help us to see Him. 

This scripture came almost immediately to mind when I began to realize that my puppy, not me, is an attention getter. People don't really talk TO me. They talk to me through her. "Oh, she's so cute!" Leaving me to reply, "Thank you". Or "What kind of dog is she?" Or "LOOK at her prance!!" Now I'm not immune to doing the same.....kids and animals are right in my wheelhouse as conversation starters. A very close third is a great tattoo! But, here's the catch, I'm not particularly a good conversation starter. Those who know me might say, very graciously, "What? Talking is what you do like it's your job!" 😳 Yeah, point taken. DON'T get me started! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Anyways, that conversation is for another day. Perhaps .. slow to speak. .. sigh...

I began to ponder Jesus sending the disciples out two by two. In my last couple of writings I talked about Adam needing a suitable partner and why community is so important. Even in spreading the good news of Jesus Christ is better if not alone. Why?

First, it's important to see how and why this two by two was established and what it's importance was in biblical history.

These were supervised training missions. They gained experience and skills as they labored to spread the gospel. Initially the 12 were sent out. About a year later Jesus sent out all 72. The goal was to give them practical experience in evangelism and to prepare the people for a visit by him (Luke 10:1 - 20).Here are some other practical reasons:

"In a good partnership, two can accomplish more than each one individually. The sum will be greater than the parts." (Kidner)

"When two work and live together they can help each other in difficult times.." (EWC)

Everybody needs help, and it is a blessing both to give and to receive help.

"Teamwork approach shows that people can encourage and empower those they walk with."

As I was studying I ran into Deuteronomy 19:15 which says

"One witness is not enough to convict anyone accused of any crime or offense they may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."

We're all familiar with "He said, She said".

In Jewish culture this was a legal requirement but it reasons that two are more believable than one.

By sending his disciples out two by two, Jesus foreshadowed the companionship and cooperation that would become the hallmark of the Spirit-filled church.

The concept of two instead of one, not only spreading the gospel, but in other areas of life came to light at a wedding I attended last weekend. The scripture was quoted during the wedding and I immediately thought how much better life was when there were two. 😔 Decisions, planning, conversations, chores, companionship. I am not good at walking into a gathering alone. I will often try to arrange a "plus one". It matters not if it's church event or I'm meeting someone at a restaurant. If I know people or I don't. Even if I am expected I feel as if I'm a surprise. It's quite uncomfortable.

I have had wonderful conversations at the walking trail. Not because I start them but because Penelope draws them and then I feel comfortable engaging. 

Just yesterday I made a wonderful connection with a woman that works where my mom lives. She called me and introduced herself She loves my mom. Though I didn't know it at first, God sent her to me in perfect timing. I'm overwhelmed. She's done for her own mother what I'm doing now for my mom. She's already walked this path. She committed to walking with me. During our conversation I lamented that what makes it all harder is that my mom does not know the Lord. I had no idea if she was a believer either. But God did! Not that my mom's immediate care wasn't important but she viewed my mom's salvation as the number one priority. NOW she is on a mission!! She went to my mom immediately, talked to her and has called a Pastor's wife that used to work there as well and she's hoping the Pastor will come too. She IS who I've been praying for! Now I have my companion, my partner, my support and maybe, just maybe, we, together, can bring the peace that passes all understanding to a woman who's time is short.

I read this quote:

"Another reason He sent the disciples out in pairs was so that there would be a credible witness against those who rejected their preaching."

Thus far my mom has rejected my witness .....I considered, that it might not be me that she's meant to hear so I've prayed for God to send someone....He has done that for me and has provided for me a "plus one" to partner with me.

A team of two provides credibility and authority. It assures that those seeking help or guidance are having their needs met...... physically AND spiritually. And I realized that my mom doesn't even know she HAS spiritual need. 

I'm going to rest on this today:

He is a gracious, merciful God.

As I sit here this morning, even though I have tough calls to make, I feel blessed by the coolness in the air and the provision given. These are not easy times. But I'm thankful I don't have to ever carry the burden alone. God has sent many...an army really....but I must always remember he sent THE One, his son, to do for me, what I can't do for myself.

Be blessed today.

Carry each other's burdens

Koinonia (coin-a-nee-a) - is a transliterated form of the Greek word κοινωνία, which refers to concepts such as fellowship, joint participation, the share which one has in anything, a gift jointly contributed, a collection, a contribution; the unity of the Spirit that comes from Christians' shared beliefs, convictions, and behaviors. 

Yesterday afternoon I had a phone conversation with a friend and sister in Christ. I'm not sure if it was casual conversation or a mutual agreeing of our deep seeded misery of being afraid and anxiety ridden about everything. 😫 Honestly, I think we are sisters separated at birth.

Galatians came alive during our conversation, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

We did just that. We listened to each other and many times our response was, "YES! YES!" as we related to each other's burdens.

See, those in Christ, like my friend and I, will air their concerns, commiserate with each other and eventually confess we already know the answer to our sin, to our lack of trust for our Sovereign God.

There is a turning to Christ and his word where we both know lies comfort, strength, courage, wisdom.

Fellowship is really a beautiful thing. Not only can we bring God's word alive in our conversations; it produces our mutual cooperation in God's worship, God's work, and God's will being done in the world. We both agreed that we know from where our help comes (Psalm 121). There's a working out. It's not about slapping a verse on like a band-aid and saying , "You'll be fine. Go play."

Scripture tells us many, many benefits of community and friendship and fellowship. 

Hebrews 10:25 commands us not to forsake the assembling together...right above it in verse 24 it clearly tells us "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds...."

Spur is defined as something that prompts or encourages someone; an incentive.

I began to search the scriptures for the benefits of this koinonia. What's the point? Does it really work? ( Side note....I know the answer 😉)

"Not only is gathering together enjoyable, but it also nurtures our most important relationships and promotes a sense of belonging and community. A simple meal shared with friends or family can leave you feeling incredibly inspired, rejuvenated and connected." (Quoted)

As believers, we crave, are driven to desire friendship and community. We want to belong, be a part of something, contribute, be liked, be loved. 

God ordained it from the beginning.

"So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."Genesis 2:20‭-‬22Of course we need people! We were designed that way! In the age of technology we are able to have friendships in many different ways.

I had a very late night FaceTime chat with a friend last night who lives 2,000 miles away. We met in a way that I can only describe as god-ordained. Billy Graham described God-ordained as "set apart as something special". We both had lost our beloved husbands. She saw a post I responded to in Griefshare's Facebook page. She resonated with what I said, private messaged me and that was the beginning of a really, REALLY sweet friendship.....brought on by mutual tragedy, mutual need, mutual sorrow....deep sadness growing into a cherished, open, honest friendship across the miles. 

This morning I'm having breakfast with a woman, that through the common bond of grief will likely morph into a bond of fellowship. Upon meeting her for the first time, my heart broke with compassion for her deep sadness. I know it....God knows...I know it.

People NEED people.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."
John 15:13

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Above all, LOVE each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
1 Peter 4:8‭-‬10

My ability to love is because I am loved well by my Creator.

"We love because he first loved us."
1 John 4:19

Therein, lies the freedom....he does the work in and through me and the outcome, for me, are blessings I simply don't have the ability to orchestrate on my own. 

It's taken me a long time to truly understand what "freedom in Christ" really means. Here are a few:

•I am exactly who Christ created me to be... yep, with all my warts, failings, fears, my sensitive heart, my talent of shedding tears in almost any circumstance.

•I don't have to lay out a plan or be a list maker. Freedom is a heart that is sensitive to the prompting of the Spirit.

•I don't have to be busy every waking hour of everyday. I have the freedom to enjoy life.

•My worth is NOT based on what I do or how much I do. I can rest in knowing what Philippians 1:6 says so perfectly, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

•I don't have to strive for something I can never attain. God isn't looking for perfection. He wants my heart. And the tears rolling down my cheeks prove just how long I have desired for that head knowledge to penetrate my heart with deep understanding.

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
John 8:36

This world will try everything to make you believe you are less than....not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, that you don't do enough, don't have enough.....but God. NONE OF IT MATTERS BECAUSE WE ARE FREE!!

In this season of my life I have the time and opportunity to invest in people. Not of my own accord, not in my own strength, not in my own plans...but simply conversations, fellowship, friendships, community, where burdens are shared and fears are heard and God is glorified

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”Matthew 18:20 

I'm going to rest in knowing that God WILL direct my path...even when I don't understand it...even when I don't know what he's doing...even when I think I know better...even when I perceive my plan to be better suited to my abilities. 

Reach out to someone today. Share a meal or a moment and be blessed. ❤️

Have a beautiful day.

Don't be anxious...

 I took Penelope to the walking trail last night for a bit of exercise. The reason I take her to a trail and not just around the neighborhood is because she needs socialization. She didn't get a great start, like a puppy deserves, so I've had a bit of work to do to teach her to feel safe and to trust. Each time we pass people and dogs she whines...on one hand she wants attention on the other she's fearful. 

I began to ponder fear. I, like Miss P, didn't have a great start to life. Divorce and custody battles left me not knowing what was next...I became fearful and anxious....and so it began then, what would shape my life forever...operating out of a place of fear, a good deal of the time.

I remember, when raising my kids, wanting them to have, what I called "a healthy sense of fear" so to guide them in good decision making but not paralyzing them. Certainly not operating out of constant fear.

I've always wanted to get rid of fear. Cast it off like yesterday's garbage. Honestly, I hate it. I won't bore you with my "fear list". Suffice it to say, it's lengthy. 

As I began to study, I thought I knew the answer, DON'T WORRY. God's Word is abundant with "don't worry" verses. Fear is addressed over 500 times in the King James Version. Maybe I'm not the only one with a problem? 

I learned early in life to fear the consequences of my actions BEFORE I carried out those actions. And just like that, with one memory, God showed me that fear isn't always a bad emotion.

"WHEN I am afraid, I put my trust in you."
Psalms 56:3

Why would fear be addressed in scripture if it was not an emotion we have?

Look at this verse.....written for me...I'm sure...

"In the multitude of my thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul."
Psalm 94:19

In the multitude of my thoughts??? In times of great fear I'm not sure multitude is big enough. 😫

I get it! Fear is real. It's not something that plagues only me. I'm not alone. I'm not odd. I'm not the only one who struggles and I bet if I did a survey I'm not the only one who hates it and hates being driven by it. So now what?

The answer is easy but the execution is, for me, horrendously difficult. I don't have to go past Proverbs 3:5-6 for the answer:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6

Seems so easy, right?

I began to think about what I'm doing with Miss P to develop confidence and trust and though she is a dog and I am a human the same principles apply.

I keep putting her in places where she is afraid. She, with confidence, trots ahead of me but then looks back to see if I'm still there. Sometimes she'll wait until I'm right beside her and then go again. When others approach she stays close beside me and I'm continually telling her, "it's okay". I reassure her. If she is untrusting of others she looks to me. 

Let me rewrite that last paragraph:

God keeps putting me in places where I am afraid. I, with confidence, walk ahead of him but look back to see that he is still there. Sometimes I wait until he's right beside me then I go again. When others approach I stay close beside him and he continually tells me, "it's okay". He reassures me. If I am untrusting of others I look to him. 

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7

As I watch Penelope, she is better than she was. She doesn't shake like a leaf nor does she hide like she did.

I am that way too. I don't hide from fear. I don't allow it to paralyze me. I don't allow it to keep me from making hard decisions. It's doesn't control me like it used to. 

This I know for sure:

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ..."
2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV

One commentary talks of these strongholds:

This reliance on carnal methods and the habit of carnal thinking is a true stronghold. It stubbornly sets down deep roots in the heart and mind, and it colors all of our actions and thinking. It is hard to let go of the thinking that values the things and ways of this world, but God’s power really can break down these strongholds. (EWC)

Again and again, God takes my head knowledge and converts it to heart-knowing. How does he do it? Why, daily, do I seem to have these epiphanies? What's different?

Many, many months ago when I was fighting the silence and striving to find significance in the kingdom God clearly said, "No". When I stopped fighting, he began teaching and when he began to teach I began to listen and when I began to listen I began to hear and when I began to hear he began to show me things I couldn't imagine. I can't sit in his presence enough. My world is flipped. When I have to go out and tend to the necessary ..my desire is to learn more.

Such a gift.....when I stop fighting. Such a gift to learn to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I didn't say easy... there is definitely a need for perseverance....hardships happen....but Christ! Victory!

Have a beautiful day.

God causes....

 Cause - make something happen

How many times I have said, "God didn't cause it (whatever the "it" might be) but he allowed it."

Somehow, especially when it came to my husband's death, it described a gentler, more loving God. Surely it was just sin that took my beloved's life. A bad choice, a broken world. Bad things happen to good people. 

I squinched my eyes several times writing that last paragraph because I want to erase the very thought that this God I serve would cause that for me.

But this is what I think I knew about God but didn't...this is what I'm learning about God that amazes me, has me praising him on one hand and asking why on the other. He IS sovereign!

Sovereign is defined as the right of God to exercise his ruling power over his creation.

Now look at this scenario....On a random day in 1986 I was driving and I knew with 100% certainty God called me. Did I hear God out of my own strength or my own doing? No. How, having never been raised in the Church, would I have been able to orchestrate my own salvation? I simply could not. The truth is God CAUSED my ears to hear that day at that time during that particular trial. And how did I finally come to this new understanding? And how did this new understanding give me such incredible freedom?

My church is doing a summer sermon series on Psalm 119. Several weeks ago our pastor preached on verses 33-40.

•TEACH ME, O Lord, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end.

•GIVE ME understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart.

•LEAD ME in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it.

•INCLINE MY heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain.

•TURN MY eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

•COMFIRM TO your servant your promise, that you may be feared.

•TURN AWAY the reproach that I dread, for your rules are good.

•BEHOLD, I LONG for your precepts; in your righteousness give me life!

Psalm 119:33‭-‬40 ESV

He made the most profound statement.....he said the psalmist didn't just proclaim these truths. He didn't just request, "Teach me" See, this is where I begin to think I have a bit of control. Ask God, he'll do it. I can take credit for asking. I had a part. NO! That is absolute wrong thinking. And this is where I finally heard the truth....God CAUSED the psalmist to ASK......in obedience to God, he asked God to TEACH him, GIVE him understanding, LEAD him...and so on.

This is a complete dependence on God. Nothing done in my own strength. I literally have nothing to bring. THAT is freedom! Honestly, there is always freedom when I extract myself from the equation. Always!

Genesis 7:4 God proclaims, "For after seven more days I will CAUSE it to rain on the earth forty days and forty nights, and I will destroy from the face of the earth all living things that I have made.”

Deuteronomy 12:11 say this, "then there shall be a place which the LORD your God shall choose to CAUSE his name to dwell there...."

Job 37:13 says, "Whether for correction or for his land or for love, he CAUSES it to happen."

James 4:5 says that God CAUSED the Spirit to live in us.

1 Peter 1:3 says "In his great mercy he CAUSED us to be born again"

I looked up synonyms for cause...here are a few:

Bring about, give rise to, lead to, result in, create, produce, generate, originate, prompt, provoke, kindle, trigger, make happen, spark off, touch off, stir up, whip up, induce, inspire, promote, foster.

As I read through the list I'm certain I can find, in scripture, each of these alternate descriptions of "cause". 

Do you know how hard it is to sit here and write that a loving God, one I accept, love and adore as my Savior and King, caused the circumstances to happen as they did that resulted in my husband's death? 

But I simply cannot separate a sovereign God. I can't make a list and say this but not that. What I can say is that I don't see everything. I see my side. I see the destruction of my family unit. I see sorrow and pain. I see a family that is no longer whole. It's so much easier to say God allowed it to happen but he had nothing to do with the actual event. 

That leaves me to pick and choose. To thank God for good things and to curse him for the bad.

What if my tragedy is someone else's triumph? What if that young girl turned from her ways and now has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? I don't know that I will ever say, "Yes, it was worth it" but I can say, to a degree, I understand it. I understand that there is freedom in saying, "God, I know you're in control and I am not. You see everything, I see a small portion."

I love the synonym "kindle". I think about a fire. It starts with a spark and then there's a smoldering, then a flame.... then a bright, beautiful raging fire. 

That's my walk...God caused my ears to hear. He caused the spark. He caused the smoldering, the questioning, the learning.....he fanned the flames to know him more and more......more deeply, more intimately.....it was not ME it was Christ IN me.

A big part of me still believes God to be a mystery....and I think in many ways he really is. That's where faith comes in. Sometimes I pray, "Lord, give me the "want to" to do your will..." And sometimes I have to pray, " Lord, give me the "want to" to " want to".

Bold prayers are difficult for me. I never know how God is going to answer, what he is going to use or what circumstance he's going to put me in. But you know what? That is okay. Because I may think I have the right answer...I certainly KNOW I have the comfortable answer....but God KNOWS. 

I'm so grateful for sound biblical teaching in my church. It changes lives. It renews and refreshes me at the deepest level, my heart. The lessons can be truly painful but they are not without purpose, thanks be to God.

Have a beautiful day.