So this is interesting...at least to me. Each day, usually at the close of it, I begin to ask God to reveal to me something that he was trying to show me....he has been so faithful since I began to intentionally pray that way a couple of months ago. As he gives me the words I write them down. As I began to pray last night, I really couldn't hear anything.
Yesterday I did not leave my house....at all....all day...all evening. God provided an amazing day to my mom. Pain was controlled, she ate well, physical therapy went well, at the end of the day SHE texted ME to sleep well.....God provided a good day for her SO THAT I could rest without worry. I didn't see it yesterday but as I ponder it....of course I see it now. Look at that definition for rest again..... peace, ease, refreshment.
I had time. Time to clean my porch, do some ministry work, do some laundry for my mom, cook a meal for myself, crochet, read, write, play fetch with Penelope and just hang out. Is that why, at the end of the day, I thought I had no great epiphany to share? I mean I didn't leave my house. I didn't interact with any people. So how could God really show me anything.
But God......
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
See, when I stop believing that God KNOWS exactly what I need I miss what he is revealing to me. God orchestrated an incredibly quiet day for a worn out old lady. What does his word say? These familiar verses popped right into my mind:
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."(Matt. 6:33)
And this one:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind’ (Matt. 22:37).
And this one:
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
No one but me and Jesus, period. I don't need to be doing something or be surrounded by people for him to teach me or to reveal something to me.
Today didn't exactly start as I would have planned.....
I got up very early this morning and decided to slip back into bed for a bit to pray and think..... honestly that is very rare...even rarer that that "bit" turned into nearly two hours. Now I could beat myself up and think, "Geez Dianna, the day is half over!" Or I can thank God for providing me with exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. Times of refreshing will come but most of the time we don't see it or we refuse to and push through.
Since I've begun to rekindle my homebody status I've found balance to be difficult. Well ....that might be a half truth..... nope....it's a lie 🤥 I want to stay home and embrace my inner homebody when I don't want to do the task at hand. I'm never not honest so here goes...I don't want to see my mom like this. I want to see the mom that makes bologna sandwiches slathered with butter and mayo. I want to see the mom who is cranking out her 500th blanket. I want to see the mom who delivers hot banana bread to her neighbors. I want to see the mom who laughs and loves like her very life depends on it. I want to turn back time for her. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want to see my mom like this. I want to go visit not because I HAVE to...not because it's an obligation...but because she's my mom and no matter what that is still true. Today is one of those days. Honestly, I'm already anxious. 😫 I'd love to stay home again today....but that is avoidance NOT God provided respite, right?
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I read this verse with a different heart this morning. Usually, for me, it's about physical health and while that is part of it, the other part is spiritual health. Yesterday God provided for me a day of spiritual fitness. Truly a much needed gift.....one HE knew I needed even if I didn't. It was a teaching moment and I don't have to be sad that I didn't see it yesterday..... I can rejoice that I saw it today!! God's not beating me up, rolling his eyes and thinking, "Will she EVER learn?" He loves me. He desires good things for me. He wants me to rest IN him and NOT be anxious.
In the last six months I've thought more about the Israelites in the desert than I ever imagined I would. They would have rather gone back into slavery than to be free in the wilderness. Why? Because at least they weren't hungry. Isn't it funny what we'll trade for comfort?
I am grateful for yesterday. I see now that God provided it for me to replenish me for today's uncomfortableness....these days are not going to be comfortable...these days are filled with growing pains....and they are going to grow me in ways I may not see immediately and maybe not until I get to heaven. But I must never take God out of the equation.
".....one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Ephesians 4:6
Over ALL
Through ALL
In ALL
Today I'm going to try to walk in God's strength....purposely CHOOSING to not allow my mind and heart to travel further.
Be blessed today.