My good friend Job....

 

"I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”
Job 3:26

Ahhhh.....my good friend Job. In times of great stress, turmoil, sadness, sorrow I find myself thinking about him over and over again. I turn to the well worn pages in my Bible. The words are deeply familiar...I've spent a lot of time there.

If I were comparing our circumstances there would really be no comparison at all, right? Job lost everything but his wife. His children, all ten of them, all of his animals, his livelyhood and his great wealth. Horrific, yes? One might say that's bigger than what I'm experiencing. In fact, I might say it myself. And that's why we have to be very careful in comparing other's situations to our own. Each person's trials are personal......meant to teach them in their own circumstances. Not less or greater than mine...not to be compared to mine. If I look at Job's horrible circumstances and assess mine to be much less, than Job's life story holds no meaning for me at all. And God's word would be meaningless......and I would be super insensitive to other's situations. There is no grading.

There is so much to learn from Job. He shows me that I can cry out to God. I can battle with God and argue with him. Look what he boldly says:

“I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul. I say to God: Do not declare me guilty, but tell me what charges you have against me. Does it please you to oppress me, to spurn the work of your hands, while you smile on the plans of the wicked?"
Job 10:1‭-‬3

"Does it please you to oppress me...?" Wow! These are some great charges leveled against God! And God listened and listened and listened some more....all the while quiet.....while Job poured his heart and soul out in his extreme grief.

I read a great article this morning. Here is an excerpt:

"Reality is reality. It’s objective. It’s what’s actually happening. Felt reality is what’s happening from my vantage point. It’s reality framed by my own thoughts, assumptions, and emotions.

Reality and felt reality aren’t the same. Sometimes they align — what I think and feel fits with what is actually happening. Other times, my felt reality is out of accord with reality. In such cases, I might be believing lies, or framing reality wrongly, or overreacting. My perspective might be distorted by my emotions or my sinful desires or my own limitations."

Read full article here:
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/submit-your-felt-reality-to-god

I felt like Mr. Rigney was talking to me personally. 😳 And of course, God's timing is perfect. I am a "felt reality" person. I think, to a degree, we all are. As I talked to the vascular surgeon yesterday, if there was a hint of emotion or felt reality in him, I did not perceive it. He shot straight from the hip, did not mince words...simply put, he told my mom her decision would result in her passing away. He spoke truth but then.....he also spoke about my mom's fight and strength. He seemed to question why she would choose certain death over a chance to live longer. Was he being the surgeon and doctor he was trained to be? Did my felt reality perceive hope in his comment about her fight and strength or did he want to do what he was trained to do....save her life....without consideration of quality of life?

Job eventually "allowed" God to speak...or maybe better said, he chose to finally hear God. God didn't mention Job's reality at all. Felt or otherwise....He didn't "get in bed" with Job, justify his feelings or his right to them. He told Job who HE was.

And just like Job, in the midst of my circumstances I need to know who GOD is! That is the ultimate goal, if you will. Job's circumstances were not going to change. His great losses would remain. My circumstances will remain. Not one, more devastating than the other, but each, in our own lives, difficult at best....I don't look at Job's great loss and say, "Phew...I'm glad I'm not Job." I don't look at my mom's circumstances and say, "Glad it's not me." I wouldn't count someone's loss of a job minor, saying, "Well at least you have your health."

My mom asked me why she was born? Why her life has been so bad? What is her purpose? Why am I here?

And God opened another opportunity.....

I told her we were never promised a great, carefree life. Jesus said, "In this world you WILL have trouble. Take heart! I have overcome the world." And I told her that because of him I will see my husband again...and my mother in law...and my dad.....she immediately looked at her TV and made a comment about the story on the news. Not a hint of curiosity. Not a sliver of wanting to know if SHE would see those people again too and if not, why not or how can I be guaranteed of that? Nothing.

And when I got home I thought about Job and wondered how she might respond to his story....

See, she looks at me as having it all. I look at what I have as gifts from God. She sees God in nothing. I strive to see him in everything. Breaks my heart. But God is sovereign. Nothing is happening that he has not set in motion from the foundation of the world. I'm sad for her. That she thinks this world is all there is. Her life has been "crappy" in the earthly since. But without the hope of life beyond this life. I cannot wait until he wipes every tear from my eyes. When there is no more sorrow, no more pain and I am restored to fullness of life that so long ago was lost after that first bite.....