Medication

Medication - A drug or other substance used to treat illness or injury.

Day 39 of this new life I've been asked to live. Day 11 of a drug that has lifted the fog and allowed me to at least think. I've begun to take some steps…..steps that last week were simply impossible. Steps that, to the ordinary person, would seem so simplistic. Like doing laundry, changing sheets, sweeping the floors, loading the dishwasher, doing a little shopping......at WALMART......EATING!! Yes, EATING!! I could barely get any food past my lips for the first four weeks. Me, a reformed gluttonist (I know, I think I made that up), not able to eat…….this journey is not one I asked for, one I'm still a tad angry about, but one I can already see God working through. 

The anger comes in God using my horrific circumstances for good. 

I'm convinced that good could have come without the love of my life having to be ripped from my existence.

 But, God in His infinite mercy, has begun to work amidst the circumstance and has surrounded me with such a great cloud of witnesses……well, I …

I just can't believe it. 

I will miss my beloved until the day I join him in God's glory but I'm going to allow myself to live in the moment, breakdown when that wave of grief hits and then live again for as long as I need to. 

My heart will never be the same, broken and mended by my maker but scarred forever. 

Thank you God for your grace and your power. 

Without it…..I can't imagine.