Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Laundry



Laundry: Clothes or linens that need to be washed.

Who would ever think that laundry could be painful. I mean, well, it CAN be when you have piles and piles to do, the sorting, the washing, the drying, the folding, the putting away…….can be a pain…..a pain in the butt that is!! I never really minded doing laundry….putting it away was frustrating….you know……that awful problem of having too many clothes for the drawer and closet space?

Oh God, how I wish I had THAT kind of "pain" again. 

I'd trade my pain in a heartbeat! 

Today was the day to tackle the laundry. MY laundry…..there is no "other"……..Now laundry has become part of my pain…..the pain of my heart……how I longed for a dirty pair of work jeans…….one of those 87 t-shirts…..worn bare socks with holes……how unimaginable to see only MY clothes…….

I miss him in EVERYTHING, yes, even in the dirty clothes.

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm doing the laundry at all! I'm not out of clothes yet! But I have to do something…….getting out of my head is a HUGE problem. Normal, I suspect….but a REALLY hard place to be. Since I yearn for "normal", though, I know, nothing will ever be normal again…..doing laundry seemed like a good idea. The clothes, MY clothes, are washed and folded….yet to be shoved into drawers and hung on hangers……one day, not one I can begin to imagine just yet, I will no longer have to shove clean clothes into overflowing drawers and push hangers into overstuffed closets…….I will have more than enough room……

but I'm not ready for that just yet…….

Until then, I'll just…….I'll just…….keep doing laundry.

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Rest in his arms....

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