In due time...

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."
Luke 5:16 NIV

Scripture never says that Jesus WAS lonely....certainly he had reason to be. He was ridiculed and mocked....sarcasm was the name of the game when it came to the Pharisees...he was not highly esteemed...Isaiah said he had no beauty, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him....he was despised and rejected....

Yet he was not lonely for he knew where and from whom his true worth came. He knew who REALLY mattered.

"The demands of life pushed Jesus to prayer, not from it." (EWC)

He suffered at the hands of men and certainly all of us have or will at some time in our lives. Whether it be loss, rejection, heartache, anguish, distress......fill in the blank.

"We sometimes associate “being alone” with “being lonely,” and it is important to realize that there is a difference between those two. Being “alone” is a physical state where you are physically by yourself. Being “lonely” is an emotional state where you are feeling alone or disconnected from others – even when they’re right next to you. Sometimes we are happy to be by ourselves, and sometimes we wish for the company of others.
–Sharon Melin, MA, Outpatient Therapist.

In these last years I have maintained that I am not lonely. I don't feel disconnected. I don't desire a new partner. I have friends, family, grandkids. If I had to pinpoint the "it" I'd say I feel a lack of worth. Like, "Shouldn't I be doing something? God, can't you use me?" I'm no longer a wife, my kids are raised, I've got time, time and more time.

I've got a plan! I've got it all mapped out....what it all should look like. THAT is a bad plan. 🤦🏻‍♀️ As much as it's been proven that I cannot plan my own journey I still try. I'm almost always disappointed. Some may "crinkle" at the old adage "Let go and let God" but at this point I'm learning that it's true.

I read a great blog post (full link below) that said this:

"Jesus had a minimal window of time to be on earth. He could have spent all of His time in ministry, buried in fulfilling tasks or within crowds. There was certainly a demand for it all. But we read throughout the Gospels that He often sent the crowds away so He could pray."

Is that not so with us too!? Oh, I could orchestrate a great plan to keep me very busy all the time but is God telling me not to get buried in tasks and demands that keep me from him?

And this:

"Success and popularity are not always proof that God wants you to keep doing what you are currently doing. Even then, you still need to come away with Him. Sometimes God will move you in a different direction even though things seem to be going great!"

This is SO hard! But, alas, it doesn't make it any less true.

https://www.herlegacynetwork.com/post/7-reasons-to-get-alone-with-god

Being alone is a surrendering of all that you had and all that you hoped for....it's laying down your comfort zone, your dreams, your will, your desires, even your strengths.....it's saying, "Here I am Lord. I am your empty vessel to fill as you choose."

I'm learning albeit slowly, sometimes with lack of patience, sometimes lack of heart, sometimes with sadness and sometimes with joy that I am not in control. That clearly is a heart issue.

"My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways..."
Proverbs 23:26

Can't say it better than the Word of God:

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:6‭-‬7

In due time......

Thanks be to God I am never alone.