When you least expect it.....

Saturday was a planned day.....the bank, the pool store, the bookstore and hopefully some time to enjoy the pool.....

I started my morning with the Lord and a hot cup of tea. Thursday evening Bible Study was over (so sad about that - what a wonderful four weeks) and I could now turn my full attention to Tuesdays. I began by starting to read the lesson. I read the first page and when I turned to continue it felt funny, like the words weren't flowing and it didn't make sense. I thought "oh Dianna you really need to concentrate!". Then I realized a couple of pages were missing. I went to the internet to see if somehow I could acquire the missing pages...no luck. I thought maybe I could just purchase the book used but it would take too long to ship.....so I added the bookstore to my to do list. Now I LOVE the bookstore! It's a place that I can literally stay for HOURS but it's also VERY dangerous to my wallet!! So I don't go often because, for some reason, I cannot exercise restraint and I already have more books than I could possibly read for MONTHS. But I was "bothered". I would be out of the state Saturday AND Sunday and not sure if I would be back for church Sunday night. I just wouldn't be able to study and do Tuesdays lesson OR wouldn't have enough time to study....what was I to do..........First I needed to clear my thoughts and get on with the day as I have a tendency to dwell on that which I may not be able to fix. :-)

So I headed out to the bank, the pool store and then on to the bookstore. It was there that my day changed! I unexpectedly but happily ran into Beth at Borders! Actually, we were both walking in AT THE SAME TIME!! We chatted and I told her why I was there and vice versa. Then I offered to give Beth a ride home but since it was lunchtime we went to Panera first and it was a great lunch, great conversation and the ride home....well, with Beth.....ALWAYS GOOD!

When I got home I was anxious to catch some "rays" and do some reading but the nagging thought of not having my full lesson for Tuesday really bugged me! I knew I would be sorry I didn't have it when I wanted to study bright and early Monday morning. So I called Tammy and then I was on the road again to Tammy's to pick up the completed lesson. I had a wonderful chat with Tammy and then I was on my way again.

Though I didn't have my lesson to do that morning I still had a God filled day! I had more fellowship than I could have even planned for and having it come totally unexpected was just such a joy, such a God gift. Thank you God for the unexpected and thank you for always knowing what I need and when I need it! And thank you Beth and Tammy for great conversation and blessed fellowship!

Have a God day!!
XOXO

Peace....what a ride....

Monday was my consultation for my tummy troubles and I must say, though it was just a consult, I was quite nervous. Whether I was afraid of what the doctor might say or just realized that the procedure I would have to go through would soon become a reality, I was nervous.

A few weeks ago when I was visiting my best friend, I talked to her about my "need" to worry endlessly about that which I cannot change. It's become a torment for me, straight from the devil and I'm letting him win. She said something that had a profound affect on me.....she said "there is a difference between necessary concern and needless worry. REALLY?!! I must admit, what she said made sense. For so long now I've been very hard on myself. Trying to live to a perfect standard though I know I could never be perfect. Unattainable goals........

So I gave myself permission to be concerned about my doctor's appointment but I was still praying for God to give me some peace. The doctor was very nice and very comforting. He told me really there was nothing to worry about. That was when I did what I so often do.......cry! The let down of pent up emotion, fear, worry, anxiety........He was taken back by my tears and asked me if I'd like to take the canceled appointment he had for the next morning so that I could stop worrying. I said "YES!" and I have to tell you, it was then, like a huge burden, had been lifted from me.

Even though I had the prep work and the procedures to go through I was calm and peaceful. I went home, got in the Word and I was truly at peace. It was, as if, something just washed over me and all the fear was gone. Of course, I know it was God, answering my prayers!

I was NOT afraid! I did not have the usual "symptoms" that are always part of my worry. It was amazing! After I was all finished all I had to do was rest for the day. I spent the entire day with God.....reading, studying, researching......just me and God ALL DAY! Of course I found some miraculous things like I ALWAYS do!

I read three devotionals......

#1 -I am your Healer, your Joy. With noiseless footsteps I draw near to you. I need no agonized pleading. Your need is My Call.----The Two Listeners

#2 - And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Col 3:15

#3 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:9

Imagine my surprise when I saw how these passages spoke DIRECTLY to me in my time of need! I experienced God's grace and God's peace and it felt so good. If I was a perfect human being I would have no need for God and I would never experience that feeling. Now I know why God gives me challenges, trials, tests, temptations...whatever you want to call them.....so that I HAVE to find my peace IN HIM! It's how He draws me to Him! It's how He gets my attention! It's how he PROVES He loves me! It shows me how patient He is with me! It shows me how He will never leave me. Above all, it continues to grow my faith, to grow my trust......

Lesson learned! We serve an AMAZING God!

Have a GOD day!
XOXO

I am a puzzle......

Yep, that's what I've decided. I AM a puzzle. A complicated one with many pieces. You know the kind of puzzle that is mostly one color with a difficult design that takes FOREVER to put together? The kind that you start with wonderful enthusiasm and then set aside for long periods of time and then come back to again just sure you can complete this time?

Yesterday I began studying for our Tuesday night Bible Study which begins on July 6th. I found myself a tad uncomfortable with the first lesson as it was all about our fears, of which, I have a lot. As I got into the study it asked questions like "What are some of your own fears?" "In what ways do you see Christ reaching toward you, even during your fears?" "All of us fear death to some degree. What encouragement do you find......" and so on......

When answering the first question "What are some of your own fears?" my first fear was the fear of death. Maybe not the very act of death but of leaving this world and all of those that I love. Then adding the fear of cancer or other serious health issue for me or my children or any member of my family. Beyond those two really huge fears, virtually nothing else of any consequence...nothing that would hinder my everyday living. But I must say I am not preoccupied with death or illness in my everyday life either. But those questions did stir a lot of thought in me. Revealing some of my inadequacies as a Christ follower. That's why I love Bible Study. I can examine, really examine myself and where I need to learn and grow.

Hence, the whole puzzle theory . I thought "hmmm, I'm like this huge spiritual puzzle with many pieces. I'm complicated and difficult. I choose to work on myself until it gets too hard and then I quit until what was too hard becomes a distant memory and then I start again, this time, hoping to finish." Then I realized that I will never be finished until I am with God in heaven! I will only be complete when He calls me home. Okay, so each time I endure a trial or test of some kind, a piece of that puzzle is added. When I have a friend or family member that is hurting and needs compassion, to my heart, a piece of the puzzle is connected. When I experience injustice and am angry, to my wisdom, a piece of the puzzle is connected. When I know someone is in need and I provide, to my goodness, a piece of the puzzle is connected. When I feel the need to say something to someone and instead hold my tongue, to my self-control, a piece of the puzzle is connected. When I want all the answers IN MY TIME and I pray that I can accept answers "IN GOD'S TIME", to my patience, a piece of the puzzle is added. When my test seems to big for me to handle and I trust God instead of myself, to my peace, a piece of the puzzle is added. There are many more pieces, such as, faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, joy and love.......I am a BIG puzzle.

I really feel like this is the way God is growing me up. He is teaching me through good times and bad.....adding to me, one piece at a time. It is up to me how I respond to being "built". I can be fearful, I can be angry, I can be resentful, unforgiving, unkind, uncaring, thoughtless....I can deprive myself of the love, compassion, gentleness, kindness, comfort and peace of a loving God....it is my choice. I can take the bad along with the good and as long as I LEARN from those experiences I KNOW that I am doing God's will or better put HE is doing His will in ME!

Praise God!

Test me, O Lord, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;
for your love is ever before me,
and I walk continually in your truth.
Psalm 26:2-3

Supporting each other.....

When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each to his own work. From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah who were building the wall. Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked. But the man who sounds the trumpet stayed with me.
Nehemiah 4:15-18

During my studies this morning I was restless......I began with my devotional, really good as usual and then I dug into my continuing study in Ecclesiastes. It was hard this morning....I didn't get it, I found my mind wondering, I skipped questions that seemed too challenging....Mornings like this really bug me. Why couldn't I focus and why couldn't I get the answers? Well, I guess God had other plans for me. So as I just picked up my Bible and started to read God lead me and what a wonderful morning it turned out to be.

I've been thinking about and praying for a very special woman this week. We all know her very well and while I won't mention her by name you might just recognize her after reading this. I saw something....something that really touched my heart and made me really sad at the same time. I won't tell what I saw because it wasn't meant for me to see. In fact, many may have seen exactly what I saw and passed by without another thought (and still others might have had the same feeling of sadness that I did)....but it has bothered me so much because I have come to love, care and respect this person SO much......and God knows and He is directing my path as only he can do.

When I was gone one Sunday a couple of weeks ago I got a phone message about being missed. I was SO lifted up by that message. That someone would actually miss ME!! Then when I missed the second Sunday I came home from vacation to find several cards in the mail from those that were thinking about me. How awesome is that? Now don't get the wrong impression here....I don't have the NEED to have my ego stroked. I didn't NEED those calls and cards to keep me coming back to my community and my sisters! But, just knowing, that there are those that love and support me is so vitality important to my walk with God.

I'm guessing here but I would imagine that we all have a special person that we seek out when we need to talk or vent or cry or scream......I do as well. But as my walk with Christ deepens I am finding that I am less likely to turn to someone that does not share my christian walk and my deep spiritual beliefs. In other words, I want comfort, support and guidance from, what I like to call, a spiritual equal, a sister in Christ. Someone that knows where I'm coming from. Someone that I can relate to. That means, for me, that I am less likely to go to my mother as I would have ALWAYS in the past. She, though I do not know where she stands exactly, is not going to be able to give me the spiritual guidance I need. The close relationships I am forming with my community, I know, are God sent. I am sensitive to His leading.......I am "hungry" for His teachings.

For every time I go to someone for comfort or guidance or support, I have to realize that THAT person may be experiencing their own problems and may need comfort or support as well. Sometimes, God puts in our path, special people, wise people, discerning people, experienced people.....those with a loving, obedient heart. We are naturally drawn to them. In my experience, they usually ask for little or nothing in way of support, they are humble beyond all understanding and can sometimes be quite critical of themselves.....perhaps less forgiving of themselves than they should be. No, we don't idolize them but we look up to them and respect them for the position for which God has called them. What I have come to realize (and what most of you probably already have) is that just because someone is further along in their walk than me, they still experience the SAME things that I do.....be it lack of trust, loss of faith, the reluctance to let God carry their burdens, the very things we talked about last Sunday, relying solely on God. Somewhere, in my twisted way of thinking, I got the impression that those that had more faith than me are able to overcome anything! I'm learning......just how untrue that is. If there is one thing I've learned for Ecclesisates, it's that we ALL will suffer be it unfair or unjust.

We have been working very hard to build our women's ministry and what a wonderful job everyone is doing! It's so evident in our growing numbers and just the closeness of the group. I think (and remember I write this blog from only MY perspective) we have to always be aware that we don't want to lose not even ONE woman that walks through that door. NOT ONE! Once she walks through that door, we as a body, must be sure she never walks out! At least not for the reason that her needs were not being met. We have to be sure to build relationships as a group so that we EACH have a big support system so that we don't overwhelm those that we may be more easily drawn to. We all have a lot on our plates. We all bring unique qualities to the table. That's why I love the verse that God sent to me this morning and is at the top of this post. Look how ALL of these people were working together. Each had their own part but each was also supportive of the rest. Not a single person was overwhelmed as they all had a helper. Verses 19-23 continue to show how they worked together. It's really a beautiful scene.

It is my prayer this morning that we lift up and support each other and realize that each of us are equally in need and that each of us are capable of providing love, support and comfort to others.

Have a God day!
XOXO

The smallest particle.....

How about the calendar today?

If you have faith as small
as a mustard seed NOTHING
will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20-21

My Bible:

Because you have so little faith,
I tell you the truth, if you have faith
small as a mustard seed, you can say to
this mountain, "Move from here to there"
and it will move. Nothing will be
impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20

So.....just a little bit of faith.....a tiny bit....can move mountains? Just a little bit of God is FAR better than no God at all! Hmmm, that's comforting to me at this point in my life. I DO, most definitely, have faith. I'm not sure what the measure of it is but it is at LEAST a little bit. At least as much as a mustard seed! If I can move a mountain from here to there with faith as small as a mustard seed just imagine what I might be able to do with a whole lot of faith!

I made a decision yesterday (after God gave me the answer) and I have to say, it was based on a lot of faith. Maybe even bigger than a mustard seed! I decided to delay accepting a family into my daycare until late summer because of their schedule and what it would do to the quality time I had planned to spend with my children and grandchildren this summer. By choosing to do this I was taking the chance of losing this family altogether but I had to have faith that God would work this out for me. I have struggled with this decision for about two months. The income would be nice and MUCH needed but the time.....time.......I struggled, wrestled and prayed.......finally God answered and honestly until Monday night I did not know what I would do. God clearly spoke to me and said "delay their start time until late summer". He was right! I really want this family, even though their hours are still not ideal (so few things in life are really ideal). God assured me that he would take care of me financially during the summer so I accepted His decision and notified the family. They are elated to have the spaces for their two little ones and have no problem with the minor adjustment in the start date. Phew.....I am so relieved to have the answers I needed. But it was in God's timing NOT mine! Faith.....yes, I have some but I realize the need to build my faith and I'm working on it every day! My prayer for each of you that read this is that you would build a little faith today!

Have a GOD day!
XOXO

Good Morning

My beautiful friends! I love, love, love the calendar that Lisa gave us. It seems that each day the message on the calendar is so fitting. I was not disappointed today when I read:

I will honor you as long as I live
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest foods
I will praise you with songs of joy.
Psalm 63: 4-5

Usually I go to my Bible then and read the before and after verses to the ones on the calendar. I did so with this one and found that my translation was a different from the one on the calendar and, just as only God can do so well, my translation tied right in to our Women to Women lesson on Sunday.

I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

Isn't that amazing?

Have a God day!
XOXO

Returning....

Oh.....coming back from the beach........The last day on the beach I had the opportunity to stand about 50 or 60 feet or so out in the water...all by myself, nobody around me and nothing, I mean NOTHING, but water ahead of me. I prayed out loud to God and thanked him for such a wonderful vacation. I thanked him for his beautiful creation and I also prayed that he would watch over all of us on our trip home the next morning. Me and God......just the two of us.......it was beautiful. Leaving the beach and coming home from vacation is usually a cause for a great deal of sadness for me. I'm always in need of a break from work, bills, responsibilities in general so when it's over so fast and all too soon....well I'm bummed.

But this year was different. I was excited to come home. NOT to the bills, NOT to work and NOT for the responsibilities.....but for Riverwood and community and the friends that I missed SO much. Missing just two Sundays (but two in a row), I felt so detached. When we got home one of the first things I did was look at the mail and then pick out what I would wear to church. In the mail I found FOUR letters from my "sisters". Had I been missed? I can't tell you how touched I was and how blessed I felt. Now I was even MORE excited!!

I jumped out of bed this morning just like I did a week ago Friday to leave for vacation! I could not wait to catch up with my friends, to worship God and to hear the message. Seriously, I even left the house 10 minutes earlier than usual! This is one place in my life that I can talk up, build up and be excited about and NEVER be disappointed. And surely I wasn't today.....In just two Sundays I had missed FOUR NEW sisters joining Women to Women!! How awesome is that?! I got to catch up with the regulars, I got to hug someone I've been missing VERY much and rejoice that she is recovering nicely and that the smile has returned to her face. Love you girl! I got to listen to another wonderful lesson, sing beautiful music and listen to Brian "bring it" like only he can! After service I mingled with warm, familiar faces and when it was time to leave.......I was disappointed!! I walked out into the sunshine and it felt so good but I really wanted to turn around and RUN back inside.

I'm so thankful for hugs, kisses and kind words. I'm so thankful for wonderful, intelligent, thoughtful, loving teachers that can get us to really think about things....make us comfortable enough to express our fears, our vulnerabilities, our hopes, our dreams.......our every thought, our prayers......

Oh how I love community. I need only be away for a short time to know right where I belong, right where God wants me to be, right where God knows I NEED to be, right where God has a purpose for me. God knows I can not do this life alone. As this scripture so eloquently says:

TWO people can ACCOMPLISH more than TWICE as much as one,
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. And on a cold
night two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other.
A person standing alone can be attached and defeated but two can
stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple-
braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Returning.......returning from vacation.....returning TO my family........

HOPE YOU HAD A GOD DAY!
XOXO