Send off

Separation - the action or state of moving or being moved apart

I'm a bit sad this morning. Yesterday I spent time with an amazing young woman and her sweet little boys. A few years ago she asked me to walk with her....to be her mentor. I was so honored and so surprised that she would choose me.....it has been a true joy.

This amazing family is being called to a new adventure that will take them far from me. While I mourn their leaving I also rejoice in knowing the impact of their godly hearts in the kingdom.

This separation, though very unlike the permanancy of death, still stings and causes distress in the lives of those they are leaving behind...those that love them and do life alongside them. Makes me wonder as the disciples moved from place to place how those, in a sense left behind, felt at their leaving and the fellowship they would no longer enjoy.

The really beautiful part is that, as believers, we, because of our like mindedness, can enjoy fellowship in Christ with others who call Christ Savior, wherever we are. And what a beautiful testimony our witness can be to those who don't know Him. It is not as if this family is going somewhere where they will not meet those who will become friends and those they will minister too. They are merely fulfilling their calling.......just like, hopefully, I am doing in my circle of influence right where I am.

We, who confess Jesus as King over our lives, are called to a higher calling.....

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28:19‭-‬20

It's a bittersweet parting. On one hand I'm sad for me ....on the other I'm SO excited for them. Their mission is set and their obedience is steadfast. They WILL do great things.

I feel so blessed to watch them transition from up the street to a new state, new jobs, new surroundings, new house, new friends, new church, new family, new mentors.....even when a bit of my heart hurts. 😥

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

I asked my friend two questions:

#1 - What is your biggest fear going forward?

Her answer had NOTHING to do with the uncertainty of what exactly the future looks like. Only that everything in the here and now would get done in the proper timing.

#2 - What are you most excited about?

Serving God alongside her husband and being able to serve as a family unit.

Again, no concerns about the actual DOING or the big changes for their young family.....just a calm, peace and a flavor of contagious excitement. How beautiful is that? 

Trusting hearts and unshakable faith. Such a beautiful example to me and to those they will, one day soon, minister to.

My prayer for them is straight from scripture. I can't think of a better way to send them off on this new, amazing adventure then praying God's Word back to them.

To an amazing family,

I love you all so much and I'm as proud as a "parent" can be to see how God is going to use you for his glory.

"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Hebrews 13:20‭-‬21

"This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!"
2 Corinthians 9:12‭-‬15

This family is truly a gift to me. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Be intentional

 

Intentional. What does it mean that be intentional? Intentional is defined as done on purpose; deliberate.

I set out with Miss P last evening to the walking trail. As I have been doing each day for awhile now, I asked God to show me what it is that he wants me to do, to see, to hear.....

See, I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss anything he has for me. I don't want to run the show any longer. I desperately desire to walk in freedom and freedom is promised when I seek HIS precepts (general rules intended to regulate behavior). I'm not sure how I got here but I know I don't want to leave. I feel like a kid in a candy store surrounded by everything I could ever want.

"I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts."

Psalms 119:45

As I began to notice the wild flowers I began to snap pictures. It was at that point I felt God prompting me. It's wasn't just about the flowers or the water......Though Miss P creates a good conversation starter, being intentional means paying attention....never looking down...never missing an opportunity and being aware of your surroundings at all times. God will intentionally create circumstances that will cause me to be intentional. Confusing?  See, it's NOT about me!! God directs the path, period. I head down that slippery slope of self when I give myself credit for anything but obedience. And even in obedience, though I can choose yes or no, God CAUSES me to choose either or....See, it's right back to Christ IN me.... I am no longer my own. Now, don't panic and say, "this is not a God I wish to follow". NO!! The very moment you feel the freedom in Christ you'll wonder why you'd choose anything else.

So what does living an intentional life for Christ really look like?

Remember when you were a kid and someone did something to you and you screamed, "You did that on purpose!!!!!" Everyday we make decisions on purpose. 

Genesis chapter one is just one example of God's intentionality. "In the beginning God......"And God said" is written ten times. God called, God saw, God set, God made, God created... He was intentional.....he created on purpose, he was deliberate. Remember, God did not need us then or now but he CHOSE us. He CREATED us. How much better does he know what we need...what is best for us?

Then in Revelation, the end of his Word we see our future..our final destination. He's already there preparing a place for ME.....on purpose!!

"My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

John 14:2‭-‬3 

•I HAVE told you

•I AM going

•I WILL come back

•I WILL take you to be with me

And how can I grasp those promises? 

THIS.RIGHT.HERE

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

As always, God gives us a perfect example in his son Jesus. In scripture Jesus missed nothing. He didn't miss the woman at the well, he didn't miss the leper or the paralyzed man at the pool. He didn't dismiss the angst felt by the family that ran out of wine at the wedding. He cared about those who were afraid. He shows us that even he asked God three times to take away the horrific death by crucifixion. He shows us how to care for those that don't deserve it. How to forgive when we don't want to. He calls us friend and shows us how to be one. He shows us how to be silent when we desperately want to defend our position. He shows us how to be kind, compassionate, sensitive....how not to judge others. He teaches us how to be appalled at injustice...how to support the least of these. I could go on and on......I actually don't want to stop. 😟 Jesus is our perfect example of intentionality. If we simply look to him we will learn to be just like him. I want that!

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Ephesians 5:1‭-‬2 

I know that if I am so caught up in this life...what I have, what I don't have, what I want, what I have that I don't want.....I will miss how God has intentionally planned for me to be intentional. I will not live the life that is wholly mine, designed specifically for me. 

What would my life look like if I was intentional in everything I did? Right now I'm sitting on my porch taking in the beauty of God's creation. The birds are singing, the sun is rising, it's cool, the neighbors chickens are free ranging in their yard, my puppy is snuggled beside me, my Bible is open on the table in front of me....and I'm doing what I love to do...writing the words as God pours them into my heart. How foolish I would be if I took credit for any of it. God intentionally chose, for me, to choose on purpose, sitting before him this morning.

Today, I have no agenda. There is nothing I have to do...nothing but listen for God's directives. Sure I have appointments...but how different they are when God guides them. I love a checklist. I'm organized. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't have a checklist. I don't have to feel burdened to be intentional. I just have to allow God the ability to work through me. When he knocks and I refuse to let him in is when I step out of his will and my  intentionality becomes me and not him. I hope that makes sense. Simply put, it is not me, it is Christ IN me that causes me to see as he sees...the outcome is me being like Jesus.

I hope you know Jesus. He is my hope. He can be yours too.

Have a beautiful day.

Whats in your hand?

Waking to a downed tree on top of my barn (shed) in my backyard....not cool 😫 This is the kind of thing that normally would send me into a downward spiral of sadness and despair. He's not here and AGAIN I have to take care of that which was never my responsibility. I never desired a wholly independent life....EVER. But that's what I've been given. ..that's what's in my hand.

I was challenged by a simple sticker I placed in my planner this morning. It says:

THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL REASONS TO BE HAPPY!

Beside it I wrote:

HELP ME TO SEE THEM JESUS!

Sometimes it's hard to look at Miss Happy when Miss Crazy Life is in my face. Sigh....

I cannot remember, but a handful of times through these last seven years, that I have not buckled under circumstances which I have had to step in and handle.

Thankfully that buckling did not happen today. There may have been a severe eye rolling and perhaps an, "Are you kidding me Lord?" But there were no tears...no sadness...just a task at hand that needed attention.

Am I growing up? 😳

Is the Lord growing me up? Maybe.....hmmmmm....if I stop kicking and screaming long enough I might just learn something.🙄

I love this scripture:

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."
2 Peter 3:18

Is THAT the key? Is God growing me up by giving me over to quiet and aloneness in this season of my life? Is that the HOW? Growing in grace and knowledge of Him IN the quiet? I've fought, in my own power, to overcome deeply rooted strongholds my entire life. I'm tired and honestly, I no longer know exactly what I'm fighting for......

This truly has been a season of growth. It's been a rollercoaster.....many ups and downs.....could this possibly be the exciting "I did it" end and I finally get off the ride? Please Lord let it be so.....my ticket expired a long time ago.

So what is my "strongest" stronghold? A stronghold is defined as a place that has been fortified so as to protect it against attack.

My "strongest" stronghold has been self protection. Arrows hurt but not so much if I'm in my fortress.

I've always been called an optimist. Some described me as looking through rose colored glasses....naive. I've been called overly emotional, a storyteller, a social butterfly. I've been told I talk too much...... I'm a goody two shoes...... I'm "such" a rule follower, a scaredy cat.....Some might look at these "traits"....I'm not exactly sure what to call them.....and not see them as bad things. Delivery is important. I've spent a good deal of my life trying to shake off these labels. Labels imposed on me by those that don't live in a body that finds those "attributes" so natural.

I've been walking with Jesus for nearly 40 years. I asked myself, "Have I yet to truly grasp that it is no longer I that lives but Christ who lives in me?"

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Galatians 2:20

If it's true that I am now in Christ....who am I?

"Many of us waste time worrying about what other people think of us. We want to be valued, loved, respected, and admired. But why base our identity and sense of self-worth on the opinions of other flawed beings when God’s view of us is the only one that truly matters? The most important question we can ask concerning our identity is this: Who does God say I am?"
gotquestions.org

So.....

Who does GOD say I am?

•His -1John 3:1
•Loved - John 3:16
•Chosen - Ephesians 4:1
•Valuable - Ephesians 2:10
•Redeemed -1 Peter 1:18
•Worthy - Zephaniah 3:17
•Purposed - Jeremiah 29:11
•Made in His Image-Genesis1:27
•Friend - James 2:23
•Secure - Psalm 122:7
•Holy - 1 Peter 1:15-16
•Blameless - Jude 1:24
•Temple - 1 Corinthians 6:19
•Branch - John 15:15
•Shield - Psalm 18:30

This is definitely the short list - there are SO many more. I couldn't find a single mention of any of those labels that have been placed on me or that I've placed on myself.

Wow God!

I think today is a true testament to the sovereignty of God. Why? Because only God could show me my true identity through a tree falling on my barn.

I'm so thankful. ❤️

Never underestimate the power of God. Boldly ask him to show you and teach you....and he will. I'm so incredibly thankful for my relationship with Him, who is able to do immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine.

Have a beautiful day.

A blessing from drought....

Rain - moisture condensed from the atmosphere that falls visibly in separate drops.

I'm sitting here this morning and it is absolutely pouring. It is as if the heavens opened up and the rain we've desperately needed was sent purposefully for us.

I don't know about you but living in a state with wet Springs, short Summers and long, cold Winters.... I've always felt pressured to be outside, enjoy the sunshine and warm weather....seize the moment! After many days of heat, a drenching rain finds me snuggled in my chair, no pressure to do anything but watch it rain and know that it is so good for my dry, brown grass.

This sent me on a search into God's Word to see what he says about rain. The beauty of God's word so often drives me to tears. I can't explain it nor predict it....and that's okay with me....I often cry when I think about my children and grandchildren, how much I love them and am so blessed by them... even MORE than that ....how much I love the Word of God.

I read this about rain...think about it....

"Rain is referred to as a blessing after a drought, a symbol of God's love and teachings to spread over the world, and even as a flood to wash away the sins of a corrupt world!"
Biblestudytools.com

•Blessing
•Love & Teaching
•Wash away sins

So let's look at some beautiful passages...these are but a few....there are many.

BLESSING

"I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees their fruit."
Leviticus 26:4

"May he be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth."
Psalms 72:6

Can you imagine the dry, parched land feeling the rain? Do you remember, as a child, playing in the rain? The cool water hitting your skin? The next time it rains I'm going to do it......but this time thinking about the cleansing properties of the washing of the water.....

"Ask the Lord for rain in the springtime; it is the Lord who sends the thunderstorms. He gives showers of rain to all people, and plants of the field to everyone."
Zechariah 10:1

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater..."
Isaiah 55:10

LOVE AND TEACHING

"......so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
Isaiah 55:11

God's Word has the same effect on our soul as the rain has on dry land. How beautiful is it that God's word, like the rain, NEVER returns without fulfilling the purpose for which it was sent?

Consider this beautiful verse:

"Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.”
Acts 14:17

WASH AWAY SINS OF A CORRUPT WORLD

Just as it poured down this morning..... providing water for crops....such a blessing, so needed....God's Word is so much more. He is a God of justice, he is righteous and holy. He will wash away sins in this corrupt world.

Consider this:

“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.” (Psalm 89:14)."

God is just. It is part of His character. He defines justice and sets the standard for it.

And we see in Genesis that God will not tolerate sin:

"The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time."
Genesis 6:5

"And rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights."
Genesis 7:12

"For forty days the flood kept coming on the earth, and as the waters increased they lifted the ark high above the earth.'
Genesis 7:17

But God .....

"I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life."
Genesis 9:13‭-‬15

I was on my way to meet someone for breakfast... my goodness it was hot outside. I saw a jogger and I thought how good that rain must have felt on her skin as she ran. What a cool provision... literally and figuratively!

Rain is so much more than moisture from the sky. It is a powerful reminder that the Creator of the world PROVIDES!! He BLESSES. He LOVES. He TEACHES. He CLEANSES.

Hours later as I sat down to finish this post the rain was long gone and the sunshine had returned. Such are Summers. But, I am reminded that God's Word, just as the soaking rain heals a parched land, will transform me too. If I allow it to pour over me like this morning's rain, I will be refreshed, renewed, refueled, replenished and ready. Ready to be a vessel for the kingdom.

Have a beautiful day.

Love each other...

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Hebrews 10:24‭-‬25

I thought, "God moves in mysterious ways"...... He is so incredibly faithful when I ask him to take my ordinary, everyday, mundane, seemingly meaningless tasks and turn them into a lesson that teaches me more about who he is.

On a sidenote did you know that that "saying" was actually a hymn written in 1773 by William Cowper from England entitled God Moves in a Mysterious Way? How cool is that!?

So here's where God took me....

I was cooking a meal for myself. I take great care and time to, not only, prepare it but to present it in a way that is pleasing to the eye. My choices are much better at home because I can only choose from that which I've brought into my house. I don't have endless choices. When I have a menu in my hand? Oh boy! At home there is no desert and at a restaurant I rarely say no to it. At a restaurant money is rarely an issue, at home... it's much less expensive.

This question came to mind:

What is one thing I am NOT willing to give up? Something I'm not willing to compromise?

If I had to trim my budget, cut expenses, tweak my lifestyle, prepare for a life changing event......what would I cut, what would I keep?

What is it I value THAT much? Or IS there something I value THAT much?

There are many ways for me to cut spending.....so, so many. One I say absolutely no to is my "entertainment" spending.

This life can be really hard and quite exhausting. Look at that verse in Hebrews....spur one another on....we, as a Jesus loving people, are actually commanded to love and care for others. People need people. Fellowship IS vital to human life. And in God's Word it is commanded.

God's word has much to say about loving others, tending to there needs and being available.

•Encourage one another
•Build each other up
1Thesselonians 5:11

•Building up
Ephesians 4:29

•Love one another earnestly
•Show hospitality
•Serve one another
1 Peter 4: 8-10

•Look to the interests of others
Philippians 2:4

•Be kind
•Be tenderhearted
•Be forgiving
Ephesians 4:32

•Carry one another's burdens
Galatians 6:2

•Visit widows and orphans in their affliction
James 1:27

There is scripture (like the above) that calls us to love and encourage others and scripture that tells us how God provides exactly that to us. For example:

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him."
John 3:1

And here's where the eye opening twist came in....

I have the ability to do what his word says because he has already done it for me! He is my perfect example!

I began to see a freedom that I had not seen before. I'm not sure I can actually explain it.....it is not me at all, that thinks up or devises a plan. If you know Christ, if you are IN Christ and Christ in you....look at it this way...we are grafted into the vine, that is Christ. If you are in the vine Christ flows through you!!! It is no longer you but Christ IN you! If you are IN the vine your nourishment comes from the vine.

When Christ went to the cross for me I became a new creation.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I NO LONGER LIVE, but CHRIST LIVES IN ME. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Galatians 2:20

This is where the freedom comes in.

Revisiting my question:

What is one thing I refuse to give up?

My answer: Meeting with woman, sharing a meal or cup of coffee. Studying God's Word (and some amazing teaching in church the last couple of weeks) I realize yet another area where I think I'm in control but I'm not.

I think I AM making a plan, checking off my list

NO!!

God is doing HIS WORK THROUGH me! It's not me at all. Anytime I insert myself it's just NOT TRUE. I don't ask someone to go to coffee because it's me...I ask because God CAUSES me to think of the person who might need love and encouragement.

And for the first time I am finally seeing the freedom of walking with Christ. A rest I've never experienced before. A peace I've never experienced before. No pressure to perform. There is no need for striving nor planning. I merely need to be still.

I suspect there will be times in the future that I step out of God's will for my life.....but I don't want to focus on that this morning. I want to sit in this new revelation and be still before him. The weeds can wait, the house can wait and all the other responsibilities can wait. For such a time as this I'm in the perfect place in his perfect timing.

Have a beautiful day.

Sit Walk Stand

As I made myself a stack of fresh, hot pancakes last night .....I was thinking about today. Not a single thing on my calendar. No parties, no meet-ups, no appointments......I don't have to leave my house. I've spent seven years trying my best to keep busy...packing my waking hours with go, go ,go and do, do, do. I thought my homebody status had been lost forever. As a matter of fact I have a sweatshirt that says "Homebody". I've talked of giving it away because it just didn't "fit" me anymore.

Then this question popped into my mind:

Does grief REALLY change a person at their core or does it just take time for them to return?

I randomly picked a new scripture card for my stand in the kitchen. I have not changed it in months. On top of the above question this scripture appeared on the new card:

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him...."

Lamentations 3:25

I have spent the better part of four months seeking him. Redeveloping my homebody status.....I feel like shouting from the rooftops, "It's ME! I'm still here! I'm still her! I'm not lost!" It feels so right.

And just as I feel a bit like the contented homebody I used to be, my Fall calendar begins to fill up with new opportunities to serve the kingdom (more on that another time). Does God have a sense of humor or does he simply say, "Don't get too comfortable?" I think it's the latter.

I'm reminded of Watchmen Nee's book Sit Walk Stand. In it he gives a wonderful example of each of the three:

He says of sitting, "When we walk or stand we bear on our legs all the way of our own body, but when we sit down our entire weight rests upon the chair or couch on which we sit. We grow weary when we walk or stand, but we feel rested when we have sat down for a while. So also in the spiritual realm, to sit down is simply to rest our whole weight -----our load, ourselves, our future, everything ----- upon the lord. We let him bear the responsibility and cease to carry it ourselves."

As I sit here this morning, after a week of outside work, in the physical sense I see this analogy very clearly. In the spiritual realm, I'm learning to allow him to bear my responsibility and to stop trying to carry everything myself.

So his analogy proceeds that as you learn to SIT only then can you WALK.

"Though the Christian Life begins with sitting, sitting is always followed by walking. When once we have been well and truly seated and have found our strength in sitting down, then we do in fact begin to walk. Sitting describes our position with Christ in the heavenlies. Walking is the practical outworking of that heavenly position here on earth. As a heavenly people we are required to bear the stamp of that heavenliness upon us in our earthly conduct..."

Walking the walk....only by first sitting am I equipped to stand. This is the time right now ..when I am learning to sit. To be content in quietness, to fill myself with him, to rest in him, to follow closely beside him.

Nee says, "Unless we bring heavenliness into our dwellings and offices, our shops and kitchens, and practice it there, it will be without meaning."

I've been a believer for 36 years....I love the Lord.....but I have never known him better than these last few months. And, as I sit with him, that relationship will deepen and I will grow in my understanding. The walking will look different. Sitting with the Lord this summer is equipping me to walk in new ways. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. Excited to be used for his glory and just nervous enough to desire to be prepared.

Nee continues, "Christian experience begins with sitting and leads to walking, but it does not end with these. Every Christian must learn also to stand. Each one of us is meant to be prepared for the conflict. We must know how to sit with Christ in the heavenly places and we must know how to walk worthy of him down here, but we must also know how to stand before the the foe."

And I think this is the biggest and hardest part for me. There is a lot of "stuff" to work out of me if I am to be productive in ministry. I've been told by "veteran" ministry leaders that ministry is hard. There's conflict. What? Everyone loves Jesus! Can't we all just get along?

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes."
Ephesians 6:11

"Stand against" means, "hold your ground".

Nee explains, "Armies march into other countries to occupy and to subdue. God has not told us to do this. We are not to march but to stand. The word stand implies that the ground disputed by the enemy is really God's, and therefore ours. We need not struggle to gain a foothold on it."

We need not struggle for that which is already ours!

And in conclusion....

"No work is worthy to be called a work of God if God is not, in this sense, committing himself to it. It is the authorization to use his name that counts. We must be able to stand up and speak IN HIS NAME. If not, our work lacks spiritual impact. But let me tell you, this is not something that can be worked up at a time of crisis. It is a fruit of obedience to God and of a resulting spiritual position known and maintained. It is something we must have already if it is to be available in a time of need."

The date written in the front of my book is June 1, 2010 yet God brought it to mind this morning 12 years after having read it. I remember it's impact then and now.

Perhaps a hot cup of tea and a reread is in order for a day that has a clear calender.

Watchmen Nee was a very wise man. Sit Walk Stand is an excellent quick read. Not to be compared and never replacing God nor his word....but as an instrument to dig deeper. That's what I'm going to do as I sit today.... on this glorious morning.

Have a beautiful day.

End of your rope....

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

Puny story.....kind of ...🙄

As I began to power wash my house I decided to start on the hardest side....the west side....it has the highest peak and catches most of the weather. It definitely was the dirtiest and the most time consuming. As I began I realized the sun was not in the best position so I thought a visor might help shield me from it.

Earlier I had put Miss Penelope in the house. She couldn't stand that I was on the other side of the fence....in plain sight 🙄 My thought was if she jumps the fence I'll never be able to trust her to stay in the yard again. Evidently, she didn't like being in the house either....when I went to get my visor she must have jumped on the door and tripped the deadbolt. I was locked out. 😳 I spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out how to break in to my own house. 🤔 I would NOT be a good burgular!

Without revealing anything on social media I usually have provision for getting in if such a circumstance occurs but having battened down the hatches for vacation there was absolutely no way short of a locksmith. Which, on a sidenote, is quite expensive.

I called my daughter but that was of no use. I had all new doors installed last year and had not given out any keys. Guess I just wanted someone to commiserate with... ...

I could do nothing.....it was the weirdest feeling ......

In studying James this summer I was reminded of this verse:

"You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives...."
James 4:2‭

How often I ask with wrong motives. I get in a pickle. I'm in a hurry and need a quick fix. I'm frustrated. I'm uncomfortable.

You might be thinking, "Wow, Dianna.. it's just a locked door."

It's a simple example but, to me, it's a continual pattern that as much as I desire to break, I seem to struggle doing so. How many times I lean on my own understanding.....how many times I acknowledge self over God.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean NOT on your OWN understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will direct your path.
Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6

Not a whole lot of me there...just sayin......

Those who know Jesus as Savior, know what a gracious God he is....we can't explain it..... yet we shout it from the rooftops...when all is well....

"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."
Psalms 9:1

Yet, when circumstances aren't what we want we falter.....sadly we may not see him at all....

Finally, I sat down and began to pray. Lord, I simply do not know what to do. There were many more words than that....I was at a point of frustration and there may have been a few tears...😫

Why didn't I ask...before an hour had passed....why did I wait until I tried in my own strength.... until after I failed.... Why did I go before the Lord with a resigned heart, not because I was humbling myself but as a last resort.

Admittingly, these are hard things for me anyways. Locked door aside.....I don't want to power wash the house! This girly girl CAN.....but she HATES it. It doesn't take much for frustration to set in and tears to flow when I have to do that which he always did..... nonetheless, I seem to forget I'm never alone....I ignore the Supplier of all my needs. The Calm in the storm. The Balm for my soul.

God was gracious to me......

He placed a thought in my mind that perhaps Penelope had not flipped it completely and maybe if I jiggled it hard enough (though I had jiggled it already to no avail.....twice) it would disengage. And sure enough that's exactly what happened.

I wonder if I had prayed first if I would have saved myself an hour of frustration? Or did God allow me to get to the end of myself first? Have you been there before? I have. ....time and time again....

"You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule."
Matthew 5:3 MSG

The above is a less traditional translation but true....here's another version; well known as the first beatitude:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:3 NIV

"The call to be poor in spirit is placed first for a reason, because it puts the rest into perspective. They cannot be fulfilled by one’s own strength, but only by a beggar’s reliance on God’s power. No one mourns until they are poor in spirit; no one is meek towards others until he has a humble view of himself. If you don’t sense your own need and poverty, you will never hunger and thirst after righteousness; and if you have too high a view of yourself, you will find it difficult to be merciful to others." (EWC)

But only by a beggar's reliance on God......

As an old saying goes.....

All's well that ends well....

Have you ever looked up the meaning of that phrase? I did. Interesting....

"If the outcome of a situation is happy, this compensates for any previous difficulty or unpleasantness."

Isn't that the truth!!?? There was immediate relief upon that door opening. The initial panic was gone. The frustration had disapated. The tears dried. And my work continued......until the next time.

I am so thankful that Jesus is so gracious. That he takes my sin, my failings, my shortcomings and presents me holy and blameless in God's eyes. It may be painful to persevere through trials ..but it builds my character, gives me hope and ever so slowly I become more and more like him.

Have a beautiful day.