(Having a poker face implies a level of sophistication. "Losing" with grace or "winning" with humility.) (Quoted)
Wearing your heart on your sleeve - openly showing your feelings or emotions rather than keeping them hidden.
(In general, wearing your heart on your sleeve is not encouraged behavior. To wear your heart on your sleeve implies an overly emotional person who cannot control his or her feelings in public.)(Quoted)
I've been told more times than I can count that I'm easy to read! I have zero poker face ability. 😳 And yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve. 😫 The combination of both is often like a bubbling volcano. THAT.IS.ME 😔
Neither have ever been described in a positive way, at least in my life. I've fought the inability to hide my feelings and emotions my entire life. At times, I've begged God to fix me or at least give me some balance..... Yet, here I am....this overly emotional woman who simply cannot hide anything. Not hide in the sense of wanting to purposely conceal something but one who could at least save myself from much embarrassment. 🙄 If you're a highly sensitive and emotional person you can cry over a beautiful sunrise or a butterfly with a broken wing. 🤷🏻♀️
Trying to figure out proper responses in my circumstances (because I want proper responses)..... well......if I'm honest, I'm weary (which is a very popular word in my repertoire these days) .....if I could simply proclaim, "God made me this way" and live life, that would be......great, right??
Did God, in fact, create me as I am?
So as I ponder over the puddles I create, I think about Jesus. I know some people don't like the question "What would Jesus do?" But I think it's appropriate to ask , "What DID Jesus do?' He should always be my example.
So, as I always should, when I seek answers, what does God's Word say about it.
*Jesus was tenderhearted and he IS still.
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."
Matthew 9:36
*His heart was sensitive and IS still.
“Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept."
John 11:34-35
But.....and it's a big one.....one commentary said this:
"But Jesus did not allow Himself to be overwhelmed. He saw the enormity of the problem, but he did not give in to anxious thoughts or sink into depression."
"As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus RESOLUTELY set out for Jerusalem."
Luke 9:51
Resolutely - in an admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering manner.
Jesus knew who he was and why he was here. As a Christ follower, I too, know who I am and why I'm here. Am I resolute? Or am I like the waves of the sea, tossed to and fro? James says if I lack wisdom I should ask and not doubt and I will be provided for generously. If not, look what happens to me:
"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
James 1:5-6
Do I lack faith, trust, understanding, strength, courage? Am I discouraged? Am I stubborn or prideful? Do I desire control?
Good questions to ask oneself. Good to take inventory every now and then. Good to examine the whys and the motives. The Word of God will show me how to express my emotions properly.
"TRUST in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Have I not commanded you? Be STRONG and COURAGEOUS. Do NOT be AFRAID; do NOT be DISCOURAGED, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and NOT to HARM you, plans to GIVE you HOPE and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
And the conclusion of the matter is this: I AM always going to be emotional. 😩 God didn't make a mistake. He didn't give me a bit more of this and a little less of that. When emotions flair and may be inappropriate in a particular circumstance.... because they will, He asks me to RESOLUTELY turn towards him. He asks me to trust Him. Trust Him in the midst and trust him with the outcome.
It's okay to cry, it's okay to be tenderhearted and sensitive. It's okay if others think I'm silly or a crybaby.
I had the honor and privilege of celebrating the retirement of a K-9 officer last night. Sheriff cars and local police lined the streets as Felon received his last call. Flags were waving, signs were held, neighbors cheered...pictures were taken and the camaraderie and bond of the officers was powerful. It was emotional and yes, I cried. This time I wasn't the only one.
This horizontal world will never be the litmus test for my walk with Christ!
"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalms 139:23-24
"May these words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalms 19:14
He cares about my heart. From the heart, will flow all that I fill it with. THAT should be my #1 priority and concern.
Isn't the Word of God beautiful? As tears roll down my cheeks my answer is a resolute YES! In His Word is freedom! Freedom to be who I was created to be.
Lord, when tears flow as an inappropriate response please help me to turn quickly to you. When my emotions seek to set me on a path I'm not intended to go down help me to realize it and turn to you....the Author and Perfector of my faith. You are an amazing God and my deepest desire is to walk worthy of the calling I've been given and to bear fruit for your kingdom amidst the laughter and tears. Amen.
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