Conviction

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and SELF-CONTROL. Against such things there is no law."
Galatians 5:22‭-‬23

As I was driving last night, in the dark, pouring rain, I was anxious to get home. It was late and I was tired .....and as always happens, as if a test, I get behind someone going nearly 15 mph under the speed limit. I was irritated and might have shouted, "COME ON!!!" as if they could actually hear me. 🙄 As this car went left of center the first time, I gasped, and was thankful there was no oncoming traffic.

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
James 1:19‭-‬20

Slow to anger? Really? I don't know that my anger was quick....perhaps steeping....for seven years....see, in a flash, I was transported back to the day someone decided to drive while impaired. I was reminded that the person in front of me could change the lives of another family just like mine was changed all those years ago.

I was angry! Was it okay to be angry?

As always, it's good to check myself according to God's word.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26‭-‬27

Righteous anger is defined as being angry at all the things that oppose God—unrighteousness, evil, idolatry, impurity, and sin—in the world without being motivated by sin.

So perhaps, attached to my circumstances, my anger was righteous. But God would actually show me something a bit different.

I decided to hang back from that car....I could not anticipate any sudden stops or unforeseen turns. I'm sure the person behind me was quite irritated as he was so close that I had to speed up so he would have enough room to break when I turned into my road. And when I turned, my first thought was that the person behind, now following the person in front of me, would soon realize their own irritation was a result of not knowing all the "facts".

And more than the initial anger I was convicted. I don't always know the circumstances yet I conjure up, in my mind, an entire senario. What if.....the person in front of me was actually not impaired but someone who didn't know it was going to rain and doesn't do well driving in the rain? What if......the one behind me was rushing to get to a loved one in need of help? Were both of these senarios unlikely? Perhaps. But it doesn't actually matter.

What if....... I took care of myself first? 😔 Honestly, I bet I arrived home less than five minutes later than I would have, had I not followed that person. The irritation and anger and the words and gestures....🤦🏻‍♀️ 👈 This was my response as I pulled in my garage.

What would have been a better response? Daily I pour God's word into my heart, soul and mind....yet, how soon I forget to recall it in circumstances beyond my control.....

"....but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.
Psalms 1:2

MEDITATE on it....DAY and NIGHT....

"Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
Joshua 1:8

So that you will be careful to do everything written in it.....

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6‭-‬7

In EVERY situation, PRAY, PETITION....be THANKFUL...and PEACE will guard my heart and mind......

And immediately on the heels of those verses came this one:

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
2 Timothy 3:16‭-‬17

Teaching, rebuking, correcting and training....so that I, a servant of God may be equipped....

God, may it be as your word says. As I pour your word into my heart soul and mind, help me to be slow to anger...slow to draw my own conclusions, slow to spew hostility. Help me to draw from the well of living water instead of stagnating in the pond of my own understanding. Thank you for your word. Help me to guard my heart from that which seeks to destroy it. Remind me often of this: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

In a perfect world I would turn..... quickly....every time.....but until the day I meet Jesus, I am a work in progress. This time I failed to turn but the conviction I felt was a lesson well learned.