Self - a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others...
I woke this morning, turned to look at the clock, which read 4:44....AM......
I typically have two thoughts:
•It's too early to get up!
•How long is it going to take me to go back to sleep?
This morning I had a different thought:
"Okay Lord, what do you want to tell me? Hit me, I'm listening! And this is what I heard, "put off your old self"..... yikes..... I DID ask. 🤷🏻♀️
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
Ephesians 4:22-24
That, coupled with some pondering, it was now 5:15....time to get up and hear what God had for me this morning.
Put off your old self .....there are so many things about myself I'd like to toss like yesterday's news.... insecurities, perfectionism, impulsivity, hypersensitivity....
•Am I liked?
•Did I do/say the right things?
•Is she upset with me?
•Does this dress make me look fat?
HOURS spent getting things just right....even when nobody but me would know if the end result was supposed to be anything different than what they see.
Reacting or doing on emotion lacking zero forethought......😫
Or the lack of the proverbial "poker face" which, if I could buy one, I would. Looking at my face is like reading a book. My emotions are written all over it. I can't tell you how many times in my life I've displayed that which would be best left unsaid....my face speaks!! And when I'm called on it.... for I have been more times than I could ever count.....I simply cannot lie.....and I spill like a hose with no nozzle. And most of the time, with me, emotion overtakes reason and my ability to see the circumstance clearly. If I happen to spill to someone who's willing to speak truth into my life, correction for wrong thinking, can be painful or at the least incredibly embarrassing.
And this very big one:
I.CRY.ALL.THE.TIME!!
Talk about struggle! Trying to prayfully seek God's will in the difference between how HE actually created me and who the world created by life's circumstances.
So I start in the only place that is truth....the word of God! God, who do YOU say I am? And my gentle Jesus says, Dianna you are:
•Daughter of the King - 2 Cor 6:18
•Dearly loved - Col 3:12
•A friend - John 15:15
•Chosen, Holy, Blameless Eph 1:4
•An heir - Romans 8:17
•Accepted - 15:7
•Secure Eph - 1:13
Dianna, you ARE:
"God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Ephesians 2:10
My insecurities, perfectionistic tendencies, impulses and sensitivities are not a surprise to the God who MADE me!
So let's break it all down.
Insecurity is lack of TRUST.
"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, LEAN NOT on your own understanding (emotions, insecurities); in ALL your ways (thoughts, actions) acknowledge HIM and he WILL direct your path.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Perfectionism is PRIDEFUL.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves..."
Philippians 2:3
Impulsivity is lack of SELF-CONTROL.
"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls."
Proverbs 25:28
"An impulsive vow is a trap; later you’ll wish you could get out of it."
Proverbs 20:25
Sensitivity - takes things personally, and ends up believing the Devil's lies and becoming discouraged.
Ouch! Now that stings! Sensitivity is also described as PRIDEFUL, lacking TRUST and the absence of SELF-CONTROL. 😳 What? Really Lord? I am truly amazed! Why? I don't know.
"In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."
Psalms 5:3
Did I not just do that at 4:44 am?
Boy does Satan like those who lack trust, are prideful, are devoid of self-control and cannot corral their emotions. He can slip in ever so quietly....he is cunning (good at deceiving people).
The immense deception of the serpent in Genesis has been so impactful to me....the mere four words, "Did God REALLY say...." makes me realize that when I am tempted to ask myself, "Does God's word REALLY say______?" my response must be twofold. First, I must go directly to His word and seek... his word says when I seek I WILL find....and when I find I must proclaim, "YES!! God DID say!!!"
So, today, I end where I began, seeking out the truth of who God says I am IN Him, who he created me to be, outwardly and in my heart. Learning....even if slowly....how to put off my old self (my desires, my insecurities, my lack of trust, my pride) and put on the new...."created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness", is hard WORK. Yes! It is work...a working out...
I am a work in progress...and until I see Jesus face to face I'm not finished. I have no arrival date on this earth...and I'll never have this day, called today, again in my life. I can't think of a better way to equip myself than putting on the full armor of God first thing in the morning before the light dawns. If I can remember that I'm never alone, that the One who calls me daughter and the One who loves me more than I can comprehend, my heart will literally leap in my chest. And that is deep abiding joy that life's circumstances cannot steal. And I have the courage and strength to put off the old self and embrace my "Child of God" status.
I can't think of a better way to start this day.... Valentine's Day... than knowing how much my Savior loves me. ❤️
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