The first time was hard...tears flowed easily.
The second time, before the tears came, I thought, "Really God? Again?"
Then tears.....but also this, "My child, grief never ends."
And God, in his perfect timing, showed me that grief is a measure of the love that we had. The comfort for me was like God gave me "permission" to grieve until I see my beloved again.
Not as if I have no hope.... because I WILL see him again...but because I loved deeply.
Though not a single person has said, "Why aren't you past it" or "You need to move on" there is a part, in the mind of a griever, that believes that's what people are thinking. The griever may begin to feel foolish.
So on that beautiful beach as those tears fell, God held me in his arms and said, "It's okay....from now until....it's okay."
I don't have to feel foolish or silly. I don't have to worry whether others are uncomfortable. I'm not stuck IN my grief. I'm fully functional.... sometimes grief just sneaks out in tears and that's okay.
Prayers were definitely answered as each time I went away, away from normal, I asked God to use that time to show me what it is he wants me to learn about my life and my purpose here.
He is a good, good Father.
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