Hard Days

 

Good morning! It's Wednesday

Man these days are hard! There I've said it! I feel it! I'm living it! And I'm NOT loving it! 

Have you ever had a day that at its end you wish for a do-over? I did yesterday. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

These days leading up to "that day" are just plain difficult. I can't escape them. A veil of deep sadness descends on my body, mind and spirit. I have zero control to shake it off. It just sits there like an unwelcome visitor. And I suspect 10 years from now the same thing will happen. There is no escaping the day that broke me into pieces that can never be put back together. 

I am sitting here staring at my grateful journal that for the first time in eleven days sits blank. It's not that yesterday was a total zero. ..it was just so bad that the good seems almost blasphemous to write down. If God placed me in all of those circumstances to "test" my patience and my trust in him, I absolutely failed. Not a single time did I even say, "What are you doing? What are you trying to show me?" And when it was time for bed.... and the tears came...I was so disappointed in myself. Things I said that I shouldn't have...things left unsaid that I should have said. Situations I could have handled much, much better.

Yep, these days are hard.

Sometimes instead of pushing through I wish I could just be still. 

"Be still and know that I am God."

But  being still, sitting IN it is REALLY hard. Keeping busy is a good thing, right? Not if the keeping busy looked like yesterday. 

"Be still and know that I am God."

A command! Do it! As pen hits paper this morning I hear Him. It's quiet. The day is new. How I wish yesterday I would have found some quiet, to hear His voice. I allowed the world in and it was so loud.

I missed reading my devotion yesterday....caught up in all my to-dos...busyness, mind overloaded.... but God...❤️ When I read it this morning it was exactly what I needed to hear in His perfect timing. Yesterday it wouldn't have meant to me what it means this morning because I wasn't listening.

"May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight."

Psalm 119:77-76

Oh my heart! A loving, compassionate God was waiting for me to come...

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28:30

So my gratitude journal was slim yesterday. #239 had me peeling hard boiled eggs with a friend, grateful for time with her. #240 my very kind doctor who asked, "Are you dating? You're so vibrant and have so much to offer." #241 caring friends who checked in because they knew I wasn't quite right.

Today, I'm given another day. #242 ✔️ To do God's will. #243 ✔️ To be his disciple. #244 ✔️ To spread his word. #245 ✔️

God, I'm sorry about yesterday. Thank you that I'm forgiven. #246 ✔️Thank you that you see what I can't. #247 ✔️Thank you that when all I see is my circumstances you are working behind the scenes for my good and your glory. #248 ✔️ Today God, in the name of Jesus, my Savior #249 ✔️let my words and actions be pleasing in your sight. Help me to remember that you know these days are hard for me and that you will be my comforter #250 ✔️and that your love is unfailing. #251 May your will be done today according to your purpose. #252

Have a beautiful day!

Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

❤️❤️❤️🖐️🖐️👣👣