Sunshine on a Rainy Day

Good afternoon! It's Friday!

Life takes so many twists and turns, you really don't know where you might end up. Today, for me, life takes another turn. Not a bad turn, just an uncertain turn. Yesterday was my grandson's last day with me. Though I retired from having my home daycare, I did have him four days a week for the last couple years. Now that he's on to Kindergarten, today found me officially retired. I began working right out of high school. Now, 45 years later, what does life look like for me?

Today, as I ponder that question, I have all kinds of ideas, hopes and dreams and suggestions of what I'd like it to look like. I'm not completely in the dark about what might be filling some of my time. God has been really gracious in answering my prayers to serve my church family. Though it is something that I prayed about and something that I hoped for, and something that I really, really want.... it doesn't mean it's not scary. Am I qualified? Can I do it justice? Am I good enough? Of course I know that God doesn't call the qualified He qualifies those He calls. It is not for me to determine if I can do justice, HE justifies those whom he calls according to his purpose. It's not about whether I think I'm good enough...it is by His calling he has called me good.

I had a really good friend tell me this morning "be courageous, be very courageous". I don't have the ability to be courageous on my own. But I serve a mighty God who will give me all of the courage, grace, power and strength......abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine.

Yesterday I did a bit of cleaning in the garage. This girly girl got dirty. Cleaning the garage is something I've never had to do before but have had to tackle several times in the last years. I made the choice to tackle a few of the really difficult things that I purposely overlooked in those last cleanings. One, his ice fishing shanty. It does no good hanging on the wall in the garage. It's fairly new, in good condition, and someone would be really happy to have it. That was pretty easy to decide. What's really hard to decide is what to do with things that have so much memory that you can't seem to part with them but they still need to be dealt with. I opened my beloved's softball bag for the first time. In it I found a shirt and his rain jacket, various softballs and his two mitts. I also found four All Star patches for the last four years of his life. I'm still so impressed to this day that at the age of 60 he was still an All Star.....though he always was to me. I was his greatest fan from age 16 to 57. Everything about the garage screams of him. As long as I just have to get in my car and drive out I'm okay but when I take time to be in there it's really painful. This was his place. His domain. His responsibility. And he did it far better than I ever could or want to. So even in this, a mundance task.....what is God trying to show me? I asked that question even as I sat there with his mitt on my hand feeling paralyzed by sweet memories..... He has to be teaching me something. I've said it before and I'll say it again if he's not trying to teach me something then all of this is for nothing and that would be cruel. My Savior is NOT cruel.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Joy? Joy in heartache? Joy in tears? Joy in trials?Joy in testing?

Really.hard.stuff.

So this first day of official retirement finds me a bit melancholy on a really rainy and really cold day when it's really hard to stay busy.

I'm so reminded of my writing about rain a few weeks ago and how God's word showed me how rain is a blessing. And it is! But, when a gloomy day meets a melancholy mood I can't help but wish for sunshine on my skin. Please God forgive me.

What I can count on 100%, are this words:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts then your thoughts."

I actually don't know what he's doing beyond today. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be at this very moment. That's really hard.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the lord, I will be joyful in God my savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

And once again my spirits have lifted. Because the sovereign God of the universe speaks directly to me, in his perfect timing, exactly what I need to hear. Even if.....I will rejoice! Even if....I will be joyful. Even if...my God is with me.

God, you never leave me alone. I don't know what you're working out in me nor what you plan to work out through me. You are the only one who knows the next minute, the next hour, the next day, the next week, the next year. I pray Lord that I cling to you so tightly even if I don't understand all the "whys".... Help me to focus on what I do know. That you are in control and I am not. That you are sovereign over all. That you created me in my mother's womb but you loved me even before that. That you hem me in behind and before. Not one step do I take that you don't know beforehand. That YOU are the sunshine on a rainy, cold day. That you are worthy of honor and praise.

Have a beautiful day! Remember, HE is our sunshine.

Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Be Still

Good morning! It's Tuesday!

So, so quiet in my house this morning. Opportunity to listen (and sing loudly, if I'm being honest) to beautiful praise music. Quiet time with my Savior. Reading his word....writing it on my heart. Doing devotions with friends. Pouring Him into me. Filling to overflowing my heart, mind and soul with his promises and provisions for me. These days are rare. Not that they don't happen often but that I don't allow distractions, my lists, my to-dos, my agenda, my desires, my wants to interrupt and cause me to place Jesus to the side. Yes, I do that.

But when I have a morning like this one I'm reminded of how sweet it is to be in communion with the God of the universe. My God! My Creator! My Rock! My Redeemer! My Provider! My Father! My Protector! My Savior! The lover of my soul! The Lord of my life! What a truly beautiful way to start the day! And my prayer that I'll remember this morning and want to repeat it tomorrow.

I am not a "cherry picker" when it comes to scripture. I know context is important....there is more to this verse than those seven words. In reading it in context it goes like this:

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."

Isaiah 30:15

The title to chapter 30 says this:

WOE TO AN OBSTINATE NATION

Obstinate - stubbornly adhering to an opinion, purpose, or course in spite of reason, arguments, or persuasion

“Woe to the obstinate children,” declares the Lord, “to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin;"

Isaiah 30:1

The answer is in the verse that really touched my heart this morning...."in quietness and trust is your strength".

Quietness - absence of noise or bustle; calm.

I cannot hear what God is saying in the noise. This would naturally lead to obstinance if all I have is me in my thoughts. My agenda....my desires....

So quieting down this morning has offered me HIS strength! Trusting in him provides to me HIS strength. One thing I do know for sure is that operating out of his strength is always better than operating out of my own.

God, thank you for quiet. I'm sorry mornings like today aren't an everyday occurance....that's why the first part of this verse is necessary. "In repentance and rest is your (MY) salvation". You already knew that I can't do this on my own. Thank you for sending your Son for me. That through Him you see me pure and blameless. What a precious gift. As I navigate this earthly life help me to keep my eyes focused on you. Help me to remember that my strength comes from being quiet and trusting in you. Thank you for your patience. I'm so grateful that you will never leave me or forsake me.

Have a beautiful day!

Be the hands and feet of Jesus... even in the everyday mundane.

God's Got This

Good morning. Happy Celebration Sunday!

Has God ever asked you to do something you didn't want to do or didn't feel equipped to do?

It's a yes for me!

It doesn't mean that God doesn't have my best interest at heart or that he wants me to fail. He KNOWS what is best ALL THE TIME.

He knows my path, what my tomorrows look like, what I CAN accomplish and what he's calling me to in HIS perfect timing.

You'd think knowing and believing that God's got this, would make it easy to say "yes" to his leading.

Not so! I am, again, being asked to step out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone is small, well worn, familiar, cozy, perfect for me.....created by me.... according to my likes, dislikes and....well, my comfort! You may say, "just say no" and I could very well do that.....and two or three years ago I probably would have.

I've mentioned this memory often but it's one of great impact in my journey to follow Christ with wild abandon. A pastor once said that we should follow Christ so closely, as if holding on to his belt loop, that we have no other choice but to allow him to lead. HE can see what's coming, I cannot.

I have to trust him to lead me and to know what's best for me. I'm not gonna lie, though I know and believe with my whole heart that that's true, I struggle.

"God, I'm not equipped to do that." "That's not an interest I have." " That's not what I'm good at." "I've done that for XXX number of years. I'm not interested in doing it again." "That is so uncomfortable and scary." "I just don't want to." "Are you sure God?" So, yes I can say "No" and I have....many, many times.

But...

When tragedy comes with absolutely no explanation, no answers to why, I have one of two choices:

#1 - What loving God would allow this to happen? If he truly loves me and desires good for me he wouldn't allow such awful circumstances. He is not my God.

#2 - God, I don't know what you're doing. But your word tells me that you work ALL things for good for those who love you. You say I've been called according to your purpose. Now what?

Two ways to respond....only two.....REJECT - I won't follow a God who allowed such horrific tragedy to befall me and my family.....

or - ACCEPT - God knows what I don't. He can see what I can't. I'm going to trust him to work it all out for his glory and my good.

I have a unique perspective now. I can look back. Having chosen option #2 I can't deny that God is working a tragic situation into good for his kingdom. I would have never seen it unfolding the way it has. But he did! See, he knows my future.

I can tell you I would never have written it, anywhere close, to how it's been written. I certainly would not be a widow! But I also couldn't have imagined actually WANTING to be obedient to his callings even when it's uncomfortable and yes, even when I don't want to.

"But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." John 14:26

"And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."

Ezekiel 36:27

Here's the truth: I'd rather be uncomfortable AND obedient than comfortable and disobedient. Simple? Not really. Doable? Absolutely!

If you don't know Christ as Savior you may be thinking I'm crazy. Dianna, you have free will! No one can force you to do anything you don't want to do. But, if you have accepted Christ as Lord and have the Holy Spirit indwelling you, there is a desire to please God, not man. And that is where I'm at.

Easy? Actually no! The changes he's calling me to make me sad. He's calling me out of very familiar, wonderful places into really wonderful unfamiliar places. Yes, really wonderful places just not my choices...or comfort zone. And change? Who likes change? While he's stretching me I need to draw on his power, his strength, his wisdom, his courage, his love, his provision.....so that I may declare the praises of him who called me out of darkness into his wonderful light.

God, I don't know what you're doing. But, I DO know it's for my good and your glory. Lord, I'm nervous, I'm uncomfortable. Help me to rest in you. Help me to remember what I do know. You are good all the time.

"You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees."

Psalm 119:68

Help me to hold fast and walk so close to you that I rely on your every foot step. I don't have to know all the details. I just have to say, "YES!" So, YES Lord, you lead and I will follow and the most precious moments will be of you and not of my own power.

Have a beautiful day!

Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

That day....

Good morning. It's Tuesday.

May 11, 2021

"Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us; the Lord has forgotten us. “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! SEE, I HAVE WRITTEN YOUR NAME ON THE PALMS OF MY HANDS."

Isaiah 49:14‭-‬16 NLT

Hearing that scripture in the early morning hours when sleep escaped me calmed my anxious heart. He, my Savior, Redeemer and Friend has MY name written on the palms of his hands. And that is exactly how I will survive this day, THAT day. 

Six years....how can it be? Time passes, life moves...yet on this day time stands still. This day seems like a year. Every single second is a memory. Yes, it's a hard day. These are hards days. But God....

"I lift up my eyes to the hills----where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 

He will not let your foot slip---He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you--the Lord is the shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm---he watch will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more." Psalm 121

Such precious words I can cling to that will never fail me.

God, today is hard. Six years out I don't know why this happened and why I lost so much but what I do know is that you are faithful and true. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Because of you, I can face today head on. Because you live I can face tomorrow. 

💔💔💔💔💔💔

Hard Days...continued....

My grateful journal lays open this morning....but today it's truly tough...Add two years to my post below and the thoughts and feeling are the same. I can't NOT relive these days over and over. Six years later I remember every word of every conversation. I remember everything we did and everywhere we went. It's not even THAT day...for I had one more day....but it's a hard day... tomorrow is a hard day...the days that follow are hard days BUT God #291 ✔️, the lover of my soul #292✔️ has me firmly in his grip #293✔️  what a blessing. I'm surviving! #294✔️ I'm living! #295✔️ I have a purpose! #296✔️ Thanks be to God! #297✔️

Have a beautiful day!

Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

❤️❤️❤️🖐️🖐️👣

May 10, 2019

Good morning! It's Friday! Four years ago today I was unknowingly spending the last day of my life with my beloved husband. It was a beautiful, sunny Mother's Day. Since that day I have truly grasped the concept of "wasting away". Not in the sense of not living but in the sense that nothing in this world stays the same. I'm not sure I fully understood it until the one I loved most on this Earth was plucked from my life, just like that. One moment I was kissing him goodbye the next I was saying goodbye forever. 

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

James 4:14

And just like that....he was gone....and the 40 years we had together were but a mist. 

When I remember that time four years ago, it's still surreal. The questions are still the same but so is the reality. He is gone and I am still here. His journey was complete and I still have work to do. What my work is I haven't a clue. For the first time I can ever recall I am completely content for God to roll out his plan for my life. His word says so many things that give me courage to allow him to lead. He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. He has given me new birth into a living hope. He tells me to be patient and stand firm. He tells me not to be afraid for he is with me. He tells me to fix my eyes on what is unseen because what is seen is wasting away. He tells me not to merely listen to his word but to do what it says. He has set eternity in my heart. And from these beautiful words I can have confidence that he will place me right where I need to be and because he knows me better than I know myself it will be perfect. I cannot do that on my own.

This week has been dreadfully difficult. I've had to banish awful thoughts from my mind and replace them with God's promises. It is the only way. I am so very thankful for God's word. It sets me on the right path every single time and gives me the assurance that there IS something beautiful beyond this life.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

God sees my future. I can dream, plan, manipulate even pretend but God KNOWS. My life, my purpose, my destiny was complete before I was born. I can try to delay his plans, I suppose I can say "no, I'm not doing that" or "I don't WANT to do that" but if I believe God's word and I do, his plan cannot be thwarted. And why would I want it to be?  I hate pain! I hate trials! But I cannot deny he is with me in the midst of them and that he is growing me despite how incredibly hard they are. He will never leave me nor forsake me and he will walk with me when I can stand and he will carry me when I can't walk. 

God, I don't know why I am now a widow. It doesn't matter because no human answer would ever satisfy and mend my broken heart. So I'm going to trust that you know what is best for me even if it's something I would have never wanted, anticipated or chosen. I'm far from laying all at your feet Lord. I am still a work in progress. I still hold too tightly to that which I think I can protect. Help me to open my hands fully...for there is freedom there I know. 

Have a beautiful day!

❌⭕❌⭕👣👣👣❤️❤️❤️

Hard Days

 

Good morning! It's Wednesday

Man these days are hard! There I've said it! I feel it! I'm living it! And I'm NOT loving it! 

Have you ever had a day that at its end you wish for a do-over? I did yesterday. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

These days leading up to "that day" are just plain difficult. I can't escape them. A veil of deep sadness descends on my body, mind and spirit. I have zero control to shake it off. It just sits there like an unwelcome visitor. And I suspect 10 years from now the same thing will happen. There is no escaping the day that broke me into pieces that can never be put back together. 

I am sitting here staring at my grateful journal that for the first time in eleven days sits blank. It's not that yesterday was a total zero. ..it was just so bad that the good seems almost blasphemous to write down. If God placed me in all of those circumstances to "test" my patience and my trust in him, I absolutely failed. Not a single time did I even say, "What are you doing? What are you trying to show me?" And when it was time for bed.... and the tears came...I was so disappointed in myself. Things I said that I shouldn't have...things left unsaid that I should have said. Situations I could have handled much, much better.

Yep, these days are hard.

Sometimes instead of pushing through I wish I could just be still. 

"Be still and know that I am God."

But  being still, sitting IN it is REALLY hard. Keeping busy is a good thing, right? Not if the keeping busy looked like yesterday. 

"Be still and know that I am God."

A command! Do it! As pen hits paper this morning I hear Him. It's quiet. The day is new. How I wish yesterday I would have found some quiet, to hear His voice. I allowed the world in and it was so loud.

I missed reading my devotion yesterday....caught up in all my to-dos...busyness, mind overloaded.... but God...❤️ When I read it this morning it was exactly what I needed to hear in His perfect timing. Yesterday it wouldn't have meant to me what it means this morning because I wasn't listening.

"May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight."

Psalm 119:77-76

Oh my heart! A loving, compassionate God was waiting for me to come...

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28:30

So my gratitude journal was slim yesterday. #239 had me peeling hard boiled eggs with a friend, grateful for time with her. #240 my very kind doctor who asked, "Are you dating? You're so vibrant and have so much to offer." #241 caring friends who checked in because they knew I wasn't quite right.

Today, I'm given another day. #242 ✔️ To do God's will. #243 ✔️ To be his disciple. #244 ✔️ To spread his word. #245 ✔️

God, I'm sorry about yesterday. Thank you that I'm forgiven. #246 ✔️Thank you that you see what I can't. #247 ✔️Thank you that when all I see is my circumstances you are working behind the scenes for my good and your glory. #248 ✔️ Today God, in the name of Jesus, my Savior #249 ✔️let my words and actions be pleasing in your sight. Help me to remember that you know these days are hard for me and that you will be my comforter #250 ✔️and that your love is unfailing. #251 May your will be done today according to your purpose. #252

Have a beautiful day!

Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

❤️❤️❤️🖐️🖐️👣👣

Grateful for Rain

Good morning! It's Monday!

Gloomy - dark or poorly lit, especially so as to appear depressing or frightening;
having a frowning or scowling appearance; lacking in promise or hopefulness.

I woke this morning and heard the patter of rain on my roof. I'm pretty sure, whether outwardly or inwardly, I rolled my eyes. More rain....chilly temperatures....As I sat at my desk looking out the window I thought, "another gloomy day". Rain "almost" hit #235 in my grateful journal but I thought about it too long and my pen never made it to the paper. Am I REALLY grateful for rain? If I could set my perimeters on rain it would go something like this:

*Only during drought
*At night
*Always with warm temperatures
*A quick summer shower is okay...as long as it's quick
*Never on my just cleaned car
*Never on 4th of July or Labor Day or family reunions
*Never on flea market days
*Never on outdoor weddings
*Never EVER EVER on funerals

This girl doesn't do well with gloomy days. Even the definition fits me -having a frowning or scowling appearance. 🤦🏻‍♀️

As I reflect on my list above I also know that rain has a purpose. I wasn't saying it doesn't....it just doesn't bring out the best in me. After all, I want what I want. I want what's best for me....what I think is best for me. But I do have a stronger desire deep in my heart. And that desire is to see AND know what God's best is for me. I may grumble and complain (and yes, I go right to that verse too) but I DO want God's best and I DON'T want to scowl and frown...... What does his best for me look like? How will he transform my thoughts? A good place to start? What does God's word say about rain? And there...sigh...
. I find reason to be grateful for rain. Precious, precious words. They fill my heart and mind so fully that there is no room for my thoughts and feelings, for my grumbling....my frown..... For me, that is a very, very good thing. I often internally scream, "Dianna, get out of your head!!!" Read mindfully these precious words from Paul.

“Friends, why are you doing this? We too are only human, like you. We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and everything in them. Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.”
Acts 14:15-17

He has shown kindness by giving you rain ....

He fills your heart, MY HEART, with joy! ️

Indeed he does!

I couldn't leave out these amazing words from Isaiah:

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Isaiah 55:10‭-‬12

The trees will clap their hands! 

You (I) will go out in joy and be led forth in peace...️

There are so many verses about rain! Even though I know rain is necessary, to literally FEED the earth, I still want to set perimeters!!

*It squeezes my lifestyle!
*It interrupts my plans!
*I need control!
*My to-do list depends on warm and dry weather!
*I don't want to alter my plans!

But Dianna, look out the window! The trees are clapping! The crops are growing! The flowers are blooming! The grass is green and plush! God is providing!

So yes, #235 Rain ✔️ How can I not?

God, thank you. Thank you that when ungratefulness enters my heart my response (not always, but at least for today) is to open your word for encouragement, correction for my wrong thinking and your promises. The rain #235 ✔️ and the gloominess #236 ✔️ will last for a time #237✔️ but your word endures forever #238 throughout all generations. #239 ✔️

Take the challenge!
Find Him in the little things and write them down! You'll be amazed!

Have a beautiful day!
Be the hands and feet of Jesus!
 ️️️️️