Seeking Approval.....

So...yesterday in Women to Women a topic came up that really got me to thinking......One woman shared that she was seeking approval or at least an opinion from her father on a very important issue in her life. When he didn't respond as she had hoped, neither negatively or positively she was hurt. Seeking approval is a syndrome I suffer from as well. Having long been a pleaser I could totally relate. Then I began to think.....dangerous, I know....but.......Why do we try to seek approval from others rather than from God, our creator, who knows us so well and has a plan for us? And why is it bad to WANT approval from friends and family? So that's what I'm going to address here over the next few posts. I want to know where seeking approval crosses the line into sin. I want to know where seeking approval and serving others becomes blurred. I want to know why, in my human flesh, here on this earth, it is wrong to want people to like me. I want to know where doing good and seeking to stroke my ego become confusing.....

One website quote says "It boils down to feeling desired and loved". Okay, I'll agree with that. I like how it feels to be loved AND desired. But then it says "For most people in the world approval-seeking is an expression of low self-esteem". Hmmm, I can see this point, but this is NOT me. I'm pretty confident, but I don't believe I've ever had low self-esteem. I may suffer from a little bit of shyness until I get to know somebody, but low self-esteem, not in my case.

Then this poster goes on to say, "Praise temporarily fills the void created by the feeling of not being loved and we experience pleasant emotions. Because we don't know how to close this void we figure that we can only be happy when others approve of us. Usually we come to this conclusion when we are still very little because the big people around us that we look up to (parents, teachers etc.) are fond of harshly expressing their disapproval when we don't act the way they expect us to. Disapproval feels bad so we start trying to act in a way that others will like and gradually this kind of behavior becomes a habit. Slowly the emotional high we get from approval becomes addictive and when we don't get our dose, we suffer. That motivates to conform to others' rules even more."

Ah ha!! Now we are getting somewhere. This may help to answer my first question.....where seeking approval crosses the line into sin.....If we begin to conform to what we think others will like than we lose our true self. We lose/change the person that God created. Now that is huge to me. God created me, uniquely.....I am like no one else...I have special talents, special gifts, given to me, by God, for HIS purpose. If I begin to change myself than I am changing what God made.
I strongly maintain that I am NOT changing myself so that others will like me but instead I want people to like me for who I am. It's unrealistic to believe that everyone I meet will like everything about me......totally unrealistic....but I don't change who I am....I won't compromise my moral, my values, my beliefs, God's mission for me......for someone to like me. But maybe I will strive to do better, be kinder, be more giving, mind my tongue, use my gifts for the benefit of others, be more patient.....but then would I be destined for this behavior by the very act of God creating me? So many questions.......

As always, we should go to scriptures to seek out answers to our questions.

Galatians 1:10 says: For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

But exactly how do we do that? By this passage it seems pretty black and white doesn't it?

Have a God day!
XOXOX