Comfort VS Obedience

Good Morning! It's Thursday!

Comfort Zone - a place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress

Obedience - compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority

Which do you choose?

I've thought, talked, written, pondered, embraced, loved and yes, hated my comfort zone. I've loved it because it's safe. I've hated it because it's confining. The juxtaposition is quite odd. I've lately had many arguments with my comfort zone. Especially since my world is so different. Having another, a partner, a lifemate actually was quite handy when it came to my comfort zone. When you're with someone for a long, long time like I was, there is a melding of comfort zones, his and mine. They get to know each other, compromise with each other and eventually, not always but ours did, become one. Gone were the days when one would say to the other, "Come on, let's do this!". No longer any pressure to do something I was simply uncomfortable doing or didn't want to do. So two comfort zones become one and life and existence didn't challenge me to step out. My partner knew and respected my limits. Disclaimer: Not all marriages role this way. I only have my story to tell.

Obedience on the other hand seems simple, right? You have a law, you obey it. Your boss instructs you, you do it. You visit you doctor and dentist because you've been told it's necessary for good health. Obedience in the world is laid out pretty simply.....here are the rules, follow them. The world doesn't say you HAVE to bungee jump, or climb the tallest mountain, or take a 12 hour flight somewhere. Fear creeps in, anxiety threathens your peace and you simply say, "No, I'm not doing that". Do things happen in the world where there is no choice? Of course. Having a brain tumor, losing a spouse.....was I comfortable? No, of course not. If I could have chosen....of course I would have said, "absolutely not".

As a Christ follower, the comfort zone and obedience are in direct oppostition. Take this scripture passage:

"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." John 15:19

I'm called to be different even if the world HATES me. Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone. WOW!

Can you imagine being asked to sacrifice your only son? The son you prayed for, waited for, the son you desired well into your old age? Abraham was asked to do just this.

"Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and got go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." Genesis 22:2

And herein lies the difference between my comfort zone and obedience. My comfort zone is determined by me. Obedience is determined by God. There is nothing in the story that says Abraham argued with God. Now in my human thoughts I'm sure he was in agony....how can this be? Why God? God tells us, in his word, every detail we need to know. If it's not there, we can allow our human brain to try and interpret, look between the lines, add emotion and our personal feelings, but that doesn't mean it's correct. This particular story has a pretty good ending. God provided the sacrifice, Isaac did not die. God never intended for Isaac to die. What he wanted was Abraham's obedience. Abraham's story is not unlike many, many others in God's word.

There comes a time in the life of a believer, please don't ask me to explain it, only a sovereign God can, when the indwelling Holy Spirit sparks the obedience fire deep in your soul. And the desire to be obedient far outweighs the desire to stay in your comfort zone. You might ask why one would subject themselves to doing things they simply don't want to do....or maybe you think you're not capable of what you're being asked to do. God, I don't have the skills for that. Public speaking? Are you kidding me? Being a leader? What? Changing careers? Now? At my age? Insert whatever......Can you choose to say no? Of course. But God's word says he knows the plans he has for us, not to harm us but to give us a hope and a future. He saw our unformed body, he knew us before we were born, he created our inmost being, he knit us together in our mother's womb. Do I believe it? Do I believe my Savior, my Lord, knows better for me than I could ever choose for myself? At this point in my journey on earth, YES! Did I always? No. What that doesn't mean is a glorious riding into the sunset. It's doesn't mean life will be rainbows and butterflies. God will call us out of things we LOVE. He may call you away from people you LOVE. He may call you to scary places......places out of that well worn comfort zone. Is it earth shattering? Like selling everything you own, leaving your family and becoming a missionary in a desolete corner of the world? No. But often times, when we can't see the plan, when there is no list 1. 2. 3., we (I) lose confidence. Can God work in and through the fears and anxiety and create something beautiful? YES, he can and I BELIEVE it.

When I lost my beloved and then retired I could not longer find any excuses to say no to my loving God. I needed only to look back and examine from where I had come. In dark times he sustained me. He kept my foot from slipping and set it on a firm foundation. I can't look back over the last six years, having LIVED in his provision, and say, "thanks for all you did God but I'll take it from here." And I find myself, like Abraham, desiring to be obedient rather than following my own very narrow path.

I am watching my comfort zone (fortress) slowing breaking down brick by brick. I'm finally seeing strongholds being demolished and in the process I'm realizing a few very life changing thoughts:

1. The strongholds I've built are heavy and burdensome. The comfort zone I've built is actually not a comfort zone at all. It's actually a means by which I think I can protect myself. That's why it was built in the first place. There's a huge difference between saying, "I don't want to fly because it scares me" and "I'm not going to voice my opinion because people may not like me".

2. The realization that if I stay in my fortress God cannot use me. That actually breaks my heart. I WANT to be a vessel.

3. I don't use the word "hate" very often but that fortress, I HATE it! I HATE the reasons I built it! And I've finally realized that until I'm willing to allow God to tear it down I am of very little use to the kingdom. The two, my fortress and my service to the kingdom CANNOT co-exist.

And finally.....

I don't need to supply my needs. God already promises to do just that.

"And my God WILL meet ALL your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" Phil 4:19

That's a PROMISE!

Oh how far I have fallen in my own thinking and oh how far I have come by the grace of God.

Have a beautiful day. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

❤❤❤🖐🖐🖐👣👣👣

Can I get an eye roll here?

Perseverate - continuation of something (such as an activity or thought) usually to an extreme degree or beyond a desired point.

Can I get an eye roll here? I'm pretty sure I helped to invent this word. Not really, that would be giving me too much credit. Let's just say I KNOW HER WELL. We are best friends. I'm a bit sad that I've become such a good "partner" to someone who has definitely NOT returned the favor. But God....he has turned my perspective recently. 

Why am I best friends with someone who doesn't have my best interest at heart? Why have I given her SO much power over me? Why do I keep inviting her back into the depths of my soul? She torments me. Lies to me. Holds me hostage. She's toxic to my existence. Yet, I love her, embrace her, keep holding onto her.....

I'm not sure I can defend myself....no I actually can't... nor do I want to.....Simply put, I'm tired of well worn habits, leftovers from my unbringing....perhaps I should say strongholds.....deeply ingrained fortresses......Pastor Charles Stanley calls it "building structures" . If we are hurt in relationships we build structures of "avoidance", if we're told how to think, when to think, when to talk, when to remain silent, we build structures of "conformity". As a child, Stanley says, "we begin to lay down our creativity, our strengths,  our initiavtive", we become like putty and conform to a mold. We begin to go along with the crowd, not express our thoughts for fear of rejection.

In his perfect timing, only God, had me turn on the TV yesterday morning as I got ready for church, to the perfect channel, to listen to that perfect sermon, that originally aired in 1998. It spoke to me so deeply, that my heart and soul were deeply moved. I've listened to that 26 minute sermon four times now and each time have thrown my hands in the air with a resounding, "YES" and a heart finally understanding that my worth isn't based on my past. My worth isn't in what others think about me. My worth isn't calculated by how many good deeds I do, how many times I take one for the team, how often I hold my tongue, how popular or well liked I am. My strength is not in being the good girl, in being quiet......You guys!!!!! GOD DOESN'T WANT ME TO CONFORM TO THIS WORLD BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY RENEWING MY MIND!!! 

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is --- his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Can you see the FREEDOM in this? I'm reminded of an example given in Sunday School of pulling a cart. The question was, "what's in your cart?" For me, my cart is full of insecurities........and they are HEAVY......but then it was pointed out that I don't carry my burden alone. That, as a Christ follower, he is helping me pull.....and then this.....what's REALLY in the cart? THE WILL OF GOD!! Jesus helping me to do the will of God. Anything else placed in the cart is not of God.....it is of me......sigh.....

Stronghold - a place that has been fortified (made stronger or more secure)  so as to protect it against attack. 

Not only have I built fortresses of protection, I've filled my cart with "stuff" that has no place there.  There's a whole lot of "I" and really, ZERO God. I may take him along, if I decide to, but more often than not.....I don't. That REALLY hurts my heart. I can't imagine what God's heart is longing for me to see. Though I'm given a choice, I'm grieved by the choices I've made. But God.....he is waiting with open arms...he has been and will be.....What a patient God. Hallelujah!

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

"So we say with confidence: "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man d to me?" Hebrews 13:6

Thank you for leading me to that sermon yesterday Lord. I still can barely believe it. It's one of those "pinch me" moments....one of those "surely I must be dreaming" epiphanies (an experienceof sudden and striking realization). I am so very grateful and today I praise you for your provision.......But God, I confess, right here, right now that I have built my own fortresses.....I have used my own wisdom to shelter myself from attack from others. I've protected myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my creativity, my initiative, my strengths.....my fortress is so fortified that too many times to count, I've not allowed you in. Please God, will you forgive me? Will you continue to help me tear down my structures? Will you continue to show me how to stand in YOUR protection? Will you help me to stand when I'm hurting? Will you give me the words to speak in uncomfortable circumstances? Will you continue to show me that YOU are all I need even in the really hard times when I perceive you to be absent? Lord, give me the strength and courage to sever my relationship with Perseverate. Help me to kick her to the curb, never allowing her to darken my doorstep from this day forward. I'm exhausted Lord. May I turn to you for replenishment. Amen.

Mourn with those who mourn.....

 

Good morning! It's Saturday!

"Mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15) When we are willing to enter into the pain of a suffering friend, we follow the example of Jesus, who came to bear our pain and suffer in our place. Our help to those in need is ultimately a way we serve Christ (Matthew 25:40).

Ever wonder the workings of God? Ponder his ways? How did I get here? What is he trying to show me? Why revisit pain and suffering?

It is no surprise to God, that reading through the Bible with my church family, has landed me in the book of Job at this particular time of year. Six years ago I was just beginning what was a long journey through the book of Job. Pain and suffering drew me there. Commiserating with him in his tremendous losses, understanding his great sorrow, feeling his extreme pain, thankful for friends that sat with me as his friends did.....until, for Job, things went south... thankfully that was not my experience.

"When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was."
Job 2:11‭-‬13

How precious are friends who sit with you day and night...who said not a word... because the suffering was so great. I remember well the panic I felt when "shift changes" would leave me alone for even a short time, though rare, it was so scary. Looking back it really was their physical presence and the absence of being alone that comforted me... because words were rarely spoken. I am still so grateful, to this day, that I was loved and cared for to an immeasurable degree. That they accepted God's call to love me.....and love me they did without expecting anything in return.....for I had nothing to give.....

So Job's friends gave him seven days and seven nights. "Mourn with those who mourn"....and they did. This was a proper response.

And then silence, for Job and for me, was broken (this is after God's provision for getting through funeral planning, memorial services and three hours of hearing, "I'm so sorry for your loss..he was a great man"). The wailing let loose, tears FLOWED like a dam that had burst. The numbness had worn off.....I didn't realize what a gift it was to feel absolutely nothing. The waves of remembering took hold and the reality of forever threatened to strangle me. Such was the beginning of the continual battering of my very soul.....I had never felt such pain to that degree and pray I never do again.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I was brokenhearted....I was crushed.....

Though I knew well what the Lord promised I could not find him. Another devastating blow.

"What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”
Job 3:25‭-‬26

Turmoil - a state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty.

And I,  just like Job, began to pour my heart out. My lament was made known to God. I asked why a zillion times. No answers came. My friends listened, they allowed it...no condemnation, no correction....no pat answers to try to "fix" my circumstances...there were no answers ...and it took me a long time to realize there never would be. Hard stuff ... really hard stuff. But, from them, nothing but love...love so pure, poured out on me, that even remembering today brings me to tears.

Job's friends were not so kind. Self righteous (having or characterized by a certainty, especially an unfounded one, that one is totally correct or morally superior), and pious (making a hypocritical display of virtue).

Pouring over the most well worn book of all of my bibles since "that" day....I found myself mourning with Job, not only for his unfathomable losses but for friends that just didn't get it.

They were so quick to point out that surely Job had done something to bring on such tragedy. Surely there was sin. Surely God was punishing him.

But no!

For God to have punished Job it would require him to have done something wrong.

I thought God was punishing me too. I didn't study hard enough. My walk wasn't strong enough. I didn't pray enough. I didn't spend enough time at his feet. He had to get my attention, right? The pain, oh the pain, of thinking I was some how responsible. If only______.
I wouldn't have needed friends telling me, I was my own worst enemy.....I can't begin to imagine how different I would be today if I had had friends like Job.

Chapters 38-41 of Job were the most precious and life changing for me. God allowed Job's laments...he waited until Job could actually hear him and when he spoke it was SO powerful. There are so many verses to quote I simply could not choose. God.knows.everything. God knew, Job listened and these precious, precious words:

Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.
Job 42:4‭-‬5

My ears had heard OF YOU but now my EYES have SEEN you.

And I, just like Job, was brought to the true understanding of sovereignty....

And I, just like Job, wept.

And I, just like Job, repented.

And I, just like Job, have been restored.

Chances are, without great loss, I would not have buried myself in the book of Job and if I had I would not have grasped the true meaning or have been so profoundly affected. But God ......he knew then, he knows now. He held me then, he holds me now. I am forever changed by my circumstances. Of course because life is completely opposite of what I knew but mostly because a loving God worked his plan through them. Thanking him today and everyday for restoration.

Have a beautiful day! Be the hands and feet of Jesus.
❤️❤️❤️🖐️🖐️🖐️👣👣

Enjoy the Pause

Good morning! It's Wednesday!

I woke this morning one full hour earlier than usual. I had no immediate reason to get up but I felt a sense of doing just that. An urgency to get up... go outside....So at 5:45, hot cup of tea and the Word of God I head outside to my deck. It's cool this morning. The air is crisp and I'm guessing, by their singing, the birds of the air are loving it! I can tell the sunrise is going to be beautiful by all of the beautiful hues of oranges, reds and yellows peaking just above the horizon. Funny, this morning I'm thankful. I'm not thinking about later, when I'll be tired from having at least an hour less of sleep. Instead, thankful for this hour, the quiet.....not another thing to do but sit at Jesus' feet and enjoy creation. Before my feet hit the floor I listened to one of my devotions. It talked about "pause points". Here's a snipit:

"Atul Gawande, in his book The Checklist Manifesto, shows how doctors can use a checklist to save lives during surgery. Gawande’s checklist includes three vital “pause points”: before anesthesia, before incision, and before leaving the operating room.
Each pause point lasts no more than a minute—just long enough for the team to make basic checks. The results? In 2008, eight hospitals began using Gawande’s checklist, and within months, the rate of major complications fell by 35 percent and deaths by 47 percent."

It goes on to say that God, in his word, gives us pause points as well. In Genesis, God models for us the pause. After creating for six days, the heavens and the earth and all that is in it, the seventh was a day of rest. A time to pause from the work that he had done.
In Exodus after the people were delivered from slavery they were given the Sabbath as a pause point that was to be dedicated to God in thanksgiving for their deliverance.

"The Israelites are to observe the Sabbath, celebrating it for the generations to come as a lasting covenant. It will be a sign between me and the Israelites forever, for in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day he rested and was refreshed.’ ”
Exodus 31:16‭-‬17

 
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28‭-‬31

Renew - give fresh life or strength to; revive.

I could never begin to list the times I've needed renewal. To start fresh, begin again. This morning I feel like the "pause point" really "clicked" with me. I don't actually seek renewal. I just get on with the next thing on my agenda. Push, push, push until my to-do list is done and THEN I might collapse and sleep....starting over again the next day. OR quite the opposite. The to-do list is long and overwhelming so I do nothing at all.

Revive - to bring back to life,” to “restore to consciousness,” or to “restore to a previous condition. Restoration, rejuvenation, or renewal of interest.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just doing life. Going about day to day but not really excited. During my first stint leading GriefShare one major suggestion when grieving is to just "do the next thing". Now, in grieving, that is a really good point. Really good..... early in my grief that might have been taking a bath, maybe brushing my teeth. I talked to a recent widow suggesting to her to do just that and she replied, "I get dressed everyday." It's a great piece of advice from professionals and spiritual leaders and in some ways there are still days I function like that. Forcing myself to do something....anything.
But, thinking about the "pause" gives me a different perspective. It's actually okay to sit down in the middle of the afternoon with a refreshing glass of ice tea, perhaps read a book, catch up with a friend, go shopping. As I sit here in the quiet this morning, reading my Bible, after having rested my body..... I am renewing my energy, refreshing my spirit, refilling my mind, reviving my soul.....refueling my body.

RESTING
RENEWING
REFRESHING
REFILLING
REFUELING

The spiritual pause is vital in my walk with the Lord. It's necessary, it's important.

"This is my comfort in my affliction,
That Your word has revived me."
Psalm 119:50

God, help me to pause and be refreshed by your word. Help me to not be distracted by the world and things that really don't matter. Help me to not get caught up in the busyness of my endless to-do list. Help me to make every moment count for your glory whether at work or at rest. Help me to understand the importance of the pause. Even if it's just five minutes. Thank you for waking me up to see the beautiful sunrise. Thank you for impressing upon me the need to be obedient. Thank you for showing me that obedience isn't always painful...that you are a gracious God who wants good things for his children.

 
Have a beautiful day. Enjoy the pause. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.