"My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies for I delight in your deliverance. There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God."
1 Samuel 2:1-2
I spent some time with Hannah in 1 Samuel this morning. If you don't know her here are some stats:
- Married to Elkanah
- One of two of his wives the other, Peninnah
- Unable to conceive but Peninnah had sons and daughters
- Peninnah provoked her to the point of irritation YEAR AFTER YEAR
- When Hannah "went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat."
I cannot relate to Hannah in that respect as I was blessed with three children....but I can relate to her feelings of unworthiness. At that time children were the worth placed on women. Elkanah asked her why she was crying, why she wasn't eating and why she was so downhearted. He couldn't understand why HE wasn't enough for her. Interesting isn't it that Elkanah couldn't feel his wife's remorse because he couldn't relate either. He had sons and daughters!! Might have been a totally different story if Hannah was his only wife and he had no heirs.
How often do I put my worth in things that society tells me I have to have? To be successful you need this ________. To be happy you need this _______. To be fulfilled you must be married, have 2.5 children, a beautiful home, a great job...To feel comfortable in your own skin you must be this height, this weight.
When I was walking the other day I caught my shadow and the first thing I thought was, "WOW look how tall I am! Gosh, I wish I had long legs." I've struggled with my physical appearance my entire life. I'm too short, too fat, bad skin, ugly hair......all the while outwardly appearing totally comfortable in my skin. Inside I'm screaming, "CAN YOU SEE ME?"
I can only share my own thought and that thought is, can short people actually be seen?
My taller friends would say, "I've always wanted to be petite." The struggle is real, right? Hannah's worth was tied to her inability to have children. Is my worth tied to how I look on the outside? Honestly, at 63 I'm beginning to desire greatly to allow God to work those negative, unhealthy, totally untrue thoughts out of me. His timing is perfect though it would have been helpful (or so I think) to experience personal acceptance a LOT sooner.
Remember David, the young shepherd, against the Philistine? Listen to his words:
Such confidence....
Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.David had such confidence that he would succeed just as himself. Just as God created him! No fancy clothing or weapons. His confidence was in exactly how God created him and what God created him for!!
"It was not by sword or spear that the Lord save; for the battle is the Lord's and HE WILL GIVE ALL OF you into our hand."
Remember Moses? He did not speak eloquently, he wanted God to send someone else. How about the disciples? Did they feel equipped in their own power?
If I could do it all on my own I would have no need for a Savior. That is truth 100%.
"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Oh Lord, help me to RUN to you and your Word. Every time I do you show me things that I've never seen before. I never, EVER, EVER, EVER step away with nothing. I am never disappointed. All I have to do is write your Word on my heart and YOU will use it in your perfect timing. Please help me to always place you first. Early in the morning....filling my heart to overflowing so that everything that comes out of my mouth is an outpouring of what you've placed in my heart.
"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Let it be you Jesus...let it be you.
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