Day Eleven in the Wilderness - Ponderings

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

 

 It's 12:30 pm and I'm still in my jammies. I am enjoying a very quiet house on a Saturday. I'm thankful for days to just be still and allow God to show me things that I either NEED to see or instruction I NEED to hear. So often, I'm busy. Not necessarily busy in a wasteful way (of course, sometimes I am) but in a way that renews the soul.  As a woman, it's often hard to be still. Life is filled with responsibilities to family, to work. It's hard to slow down and feel worthy of time to ourselves.

I'm going to talk about something that some will be able to relate to and others will be like 😕

I MISS FACEBOOK

There I said it! 

It's okay though....on this day, Day 11 it's much, MUCH better. Years ago I made a strong commitment to use any social media platform for God's glory. However even the most admirable goal can become distorted. For me, it became just that. Justifications like this: I just want to keep up with women, see what their needs are, pray for them or offer encouragement. Admirable, yes? No mention there of scrolling the hours away. 😩 It was NO surprise that God asked me to get a handle on my time spent there. 

When 40 days are done, it is my prayer that I will have a new found discipline.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:15-17

Making the BEST use of my time!

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

 Psalm 90:12

Seek wisdom!

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

James 4:13-17

This passage breaks my heart. Isn't it true!? My life IS a mist! How is it possible that I've lived 63 years, 41 of those years spent with an amazing man who was only given 60 years, raised 3 children, grandmother to six....where did those years go? Certainly sitting here today they feel like a mere vapor. Time IS important! What I do with my time IS important! The CHOICES I make ARE important! 

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce;

Proverbs 3:9

Firstfruits is defined as: the first agricultural produce of a season, especially when given as an offering to God.

In other words, THE FIRST ,THE BEST! Do I give THE best of myself FIRST to God? Or do I give him the last 10 minutes before I collapse into bed. An after thought? Obviously, I don't grow crops and I'm far from wealthy but that doesn't mean that this verse doesn't pertain to me. God wants my best FIRST! 

I was given the Holy Spirit when I accepted Jesus Christ as Savior. As a result I was bestowed the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They are:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I have work to do for his kingdom! I struggle everyday to be the person I've been called to be. That doesn't mean I get a pass. If I CHOOSE to be disobedient, that disobedience is.....SIN.

Scrolling for hours....mindless activity is NOT edifying to God. It is a waste of time, talents and treasures, period.

Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. 

Provers 6:6

Sluggard -a lazy, sluggish person. 🙋

 It may sound like I'm pretty hard on myself. Actually I am. But when I am convicted of things that need to change....well....I am CONVICTED.

convicted - the state of being convinced

I am convinced. God whispered it, I heard it and eleven days in, while it is hard, I'm so very thankful I was obedient.

 God has so graciously shown me marvelous things. I'm  taking a really close look at how those hours are being filled and allowing HIM to direct my steps. It's actually been pretty amazing. 

Thank you gracious Savior for your amazing provision. I acknowledge it's been difficult. Self-control IS hard. Thank you that you never tell me I have to do it alone in my own strength. Certainly, I would fail. YOUR power is made perfect in MY weakness. All glory and honor to you Jesus.

Disclaimer: The mug in the picture is a beautiful gift I received. I am a tea lover.....The inscription "but tea first" doesn't mean tea before God. 😉

Day Eleven in the Wilderness

 

This song is AMAZING!!

You can read more about the Faithful project in this link:

https://www.wnypapers.com/news/article/current

/2021/02/12/145307/faithful-ellie-holcomb-amy-

grant-release-a-woman

I've always been incredibly fascinated and wonderfully blessed by the exchange between Mary Magdalene and Jesus at the tomb. I can't begin to imagine the tenderness in his voice when he spoke to Mary.

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb.  And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet.  They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.”  Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her  "Mary".  She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God." Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her."

I can't imagine the emotion Mary felt when Jesus was buried in that tomb three days before....Mark 16:9 repeats what had been said before "Mary Magdalene, out of whom he (Jesus) had driven seven demons."

Women Accompanying Jesus

Soon afterward he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with him, and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod's household manager, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their means. Luke 8:1-4

A LOT of reading today but I'm just so drawn to her. MacLaren's Expository on Bible Hub says this about Mary Magdalene:

"As to the women of the little group, we know very little about them. Mary of Magdala has had a very hard fate. The Scripture record of her is very sweet and beautiful. Delivered by Christ from that mysterious demoniacal possession, she cleaves to Him, like a true woman, with all her heart. She is one of the little group whose strong love, casting out all fear, nerved them to stand by the Cross when all the men except the gentle Apostle of love, as he is called, were cowering in corners, afraid of their lives, and she was one of the same group who would fain have prolonged their ministry beyond His death, and who brought the sweet spices with them in order to anoint Him, and it was she who came to the risen Lord with the rapturous exclamation, ‘Rabboni, my Master.’ By strange misunderstanding of the Gospel story, she has been identified with the woman who was a sinner in the previous chapter in this book, and her fair fame has been blackened and her very name taken as a designation of the class to which there is no reason whatever to believe she belonged. Demoniacal possession was neither physical infirmity nor moral evil, however much it may have simulated sometimes the one or the other."

"Mary Magdalene owed much, gave much, loved much, and served much. She is a wonderful example of a woman whose life was poured out in response to God’s extravagant grace." (quoted)

• Owed much
• Gave much
• Loved much
• Served much

Extravagant grace. I'm trying to comprehend 

AMAZING GRACE 

poured out for me! 

I am not unlike Mary Magdalene. Jesus' commissioned her that day at the tomb to "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and TELL THEM, I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God."

GO AND TELL! Scream it from the rooftops!

My commission (an authorization or command to act in a prescribed manner or to perform prescribed acts; a formal request to produce something)

IS to go and make disciples. 

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 💓 Matthew 28:19

What that looks like daily for me is this:

• Seek Jesus FIRST

 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, 

and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

• Pray for discernment (ability to understand and comprehend)
• Be aware (not caught up in my busyness)
• Obey (even when I'm unsure, uncomfortable or lack confidence)
• ACT!! (even when it seems silly or especially inconvenient) 😕
• BE BOLD!
• BE BRAVE!
• GIVE MUCH!
• LOVE MUCH!
• SERVE MUCH!

Jesus, please help me to seek you first, above ALL else so that I am prepared to make disciples. Help me to not get caught up in my own busyness. My desire is to NOT miss what you have planned for me....though only you know if that's true. Help me to have eyes to see, ears to hear and a heart so soft for you that your  love would pour from me into those you put in my path. Help me to remember that even when I extend a smile, or a kind word, or hold a door open, return a grocery cart.....I am showing them you. Help me to understand that little acts of kindness mean something. Help me not to fall into the trap that my "splash" isn't big enough. That it goes unnoticed. Help me to NOT compare myself with others that seem to make a bigger splash than I do. Help me to love you moment by moment and to be confident that you will work in and through me.

**Before writing this post I read 14 commentaries, Wikipedia and History Stories in addition to articles and blogs and every single one refuted the notion that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or immoral or in any way connected to the woman spoken of in Luke 7:37 who anointed Jesus' feet with expensive oil from an alabaster jar.

Day Ten in the Wilderness

 

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established 
in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s 
holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high 
and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love
 that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to 
the measure of all the fullness of God." 
Ephesians 3:17-19
 

        "For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." 💕

                                                  John 1:16

I've pondered these three words this morning:

GRACE UPON GRACE

The Amplified Bible translates John 1:16 this way:

 “Out of His fullness [the superabundance of His grace and truth] 
 we have all received grace upon grace
 [spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, favor upon favor, 

and gift heaped upon gift].”

 

"What’s abundantly clear is that, when we come to Christ, 
He dishes out grace in heaping, huge servings." (GotQuestions.org)

 

                 Do I actually "get it"? I know it's a LOT 
                 but do I get the enormity of His GIFT? 
                                    His FREE gift?
 

Abundance is described this way:

 

"An overflowing fullness or ample sufficiency; 

profusion; copious supply;

 superfluity; plentifulness."

 

Wow! That IS a LOT! But do I understand all that it means?

 

So what does grace mean? 

It's defined as: 

Unmerited mercy (favor) that God gave to humanity by 
sending his Son, Jesus Christ, to die on a cross, 
thus securing man's eternal salvation from sin. 

So, as a wretched sinner, I don't deserve God's grace but when 
I repent (sincerely regret) of my sins I am extended favor, 
God's abundant grace. ️
 

About 20 years ago (really young in my faith) I had a really hard 

time defining sin in my life. After all, I had a wonderful family, 

loving husband, great kids, a relationship with my parents, 

pretty amazing extended family. 

I was kind and loving.
 

Was I a sinner?

 

I am really thankful that God gives the ability to "look back" into our 
lives to not only re-examine but to see the progress.
If you simply look to the 10 Commandments you think,

• I don't steal
• I've not murdered anyone....nope
• Never committed adultery...
• Idols? What idols?
• Given false testimony against my neighbor? Never!
• Of course I honored my mother and father, right?

Not all ten but you get the picture......

 

And slowly, painstakingly, over years and years, God revealed my heart
and showed me my sin. See, if you just pluck the words 
from the Word of God and go no further you really can say, "I've obeyed."

It's actually hard for me to write here my thoughts from long ago 
because by each of these thoughts I am immediately reminded of 
how I broke each one.....and though I've repented and ask God to
forgive me I'm still very aware of the feeling I had upon realization 
of those sins and how that feeling has not completely reformed me as 
I am still a work in progress.

So, lets take a look.....

1. I have stolen....a pair of earrings when I was 12 years old....

at the  instruction of a friend who told me how to slip them into 

my mouth and walk out of the store. You can dismiss it as a child's 

prank but the fact that I broke a commandment does not change.
 
2. Adultery? A very long time ago I certainly liked the attention 

I received from a young man at work.
In my heart I wished my husband could be more like him.
 
“You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery" 

but I say to you that everyone who [so much as] looks at a woman 

with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Matthew 5:27-29
 
Women are not exempt.
 
3. Murder - no I haven't physically killed anyone but I've wished 
someone death in anger and many times my heart has wished harm 
on those who have hurt me.
 
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 
‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to
 judgment.’  But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or 
sister  will be subject to judgment." Matthew 5:21
 
4. Idols? Oh my!
 
Idol - an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship.
 
I've too many to list!  So many that I've placed ahead of my love for my Savior.
 
An amazing teacher described it this way: Think of an umbrella. 
At the top is God. Over all. From the umbrella hangs "life".
Family, job, hobbies, house, cars, money, status, education, worry,
anxiety, fear.... insert whatever displaces God at the top, simply put, 
it's an idol.
Can't begin to list all of the ways I've done that.
 
5. I held a grudge against my dad for years and years until 
God revealed it to me. I honestly did not see it that way....then....
now I can't see it any other way.
 
6. And just last summer I talked to a new neighbor about her neighbor,
 a man our family has had many run ins with over the years. But 
this young woman ministers to him as crotchety as he is. Why I felt 
compelled to tell her how wretched he is I do not know.  I apologized 
to her when I realized I was trying to taint her view of him. That was NOT right.
 

I haven't talked about all of the commandments but suffice it to say 
I've broken them all. That's a really hard, humbling statement. 
It shows the depravity of my heart.
 

But God....

 

Extending Grace upon grace to me, a sinner. 

 

As I began, I end...

 

I can't grasp the vastness of His love but I believe it 
with all my heart.

 

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with 
power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ 
may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you,
being rooted and established in love, may have power, together 
with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long 
and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love 
that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure
 of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:16-19 NIV
 
And ending with this:
 
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all 
we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work 
within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus 
throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

Day Seven in the Wilderness

I woke at 2:00 AM this morning thinking of day seven, THIS day. Day seven of my wilderness journey. What would God show me today? Often, in the wee hours, in the darkness, in the stillness, in the quiet, God will bring to mind that which He intends to work in me. I'd say in AND through me but I have yet to see what the "through" might look like. So with my first hot cup of tea I began to dive into the significance of the number seven.

• COMPLETION AND PERFECTION - Six days God labored to create the heavens and the earth and when he was finished, his work completed. He rested on the seventh day and proclaimed all that he has done VERY good.

Did you know that Jesus made seven statements as he hung in agony on the cross?

1. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" Luke 23:24
2. "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise" Luke 23?43
3. "Woman, behold, your son!!" Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" John 19:26-27
4. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Matthew 27:46
5. "I thirst" John 19:28
6. "It is finished" John 19:30
7. "Father, into you hands I commit my spirit!" Luke 23:46

Did you know that the Lord's Prayer has seven parts in the way we should pray?

1. Hallowed be thy name
2. Thy kingdom come
3. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
4. Give us this day our daily bread
5. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us
6. Let us not into temptation
7. Deliver us from evil

Did you know that Jesus described Himself using seven metaphors?

I AM:

1. The bread of life
2. The light of the world
3. The gate to salvation
4. The good shepherd
5. The resurrection and the life
6. The way, the truth and the life
7. The vine

• EXONERATION AND HEALING - 

1. The Israelites  were to cancel all debts and free their slaves every seventh year Deuteronomy 15:1-2
2. Jesus answered Peter "seventy times seven" when asked how many times to forgive Matthew 18:21

Did you know that Jesus preformed seven healing miracles?

1. The man with the deformed hand Matthew 12:9-13
2. Man possessed by an unclean spirit Mark 1:23-26
3. Peter's mother in law's fever Mark 1:29-31
4. The woman crippled by a spirit Luke 13:10-13
5. The man with abnormal swelling of the body Luke 14:1-4
6. The lame man by the poo of Bethesda John 5:5-9
7. The man born blind John 9:1-7

• FULFILLMENT OF PROMISES AND OATHS

• Jesus promises never to destroy the Earth again by flood. This covenant is promised by the rainbow which is compromised of SEVEN colors. 
• You need only read the Book of Revelation to see that the number seven is amazingly present:
• Seven seals
• Seven trumpets sounded by seven angels
• Seven bowls carried by seven angels

**Disclaimer: Not every mention of the number seven has divine implication attached to it.

 

*********************

WOW! Blown away by the purposeful detail of our Creator God! He IS an intentional God.

• Intentional - done on purpose, deliberate, getting clear up front about what you want to achieve and then doing it.... 

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

READ IT!!

"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

LIVE IT!!

God, I'm actually not sure why you woke me at 2 AM and gave me the number seven to study this morning. But O, how you have blessed me by what you've shown me. So much more than I could ask or imagine. What I so love most today is that you are an intentional God. Again reminded that you waste NOTHING. Not even a 2 AM wake up call. Thank you God that today, unlike others, I recognized that you were working in the darkness. Help me to be intentional today with those who cross my path. Thank you for your example....that as you mold me into your likeness you never ask me to do something that you haven't experienced. Thank you that you are there when that molding is uncomfortable or painful or when I don't understand it or want it. Help me to always see you in the midst. Help me to remember that you promise never to forsake me. I am grateful that you love me, even the parts of me that are ragged and raw. To you be the glory today. May I be your hands and feet. Amen

Day Six in the Wilderness

Is it Day 40 yet? I'm struggling! I feel out of touch! It's that feeling that something isn't quite right but you're not exactly sure what it is.....UGH....Perhaps it's FOMO (fear of missing out)....Whatever it is it's HARD.  The very fact that I'm struggling shows me that too much importance has been placed on that which I seemingly can't live without.  

I find it really bizarre that I would "mourn" such a thing as social media connection. The self talk is laughable but isn't it when you want something so badly? My self-justification in asking myself why I wasted so much time scrolling would be admirable and accurate.....if any of it was true.....at all......

• It's probably just Winter....
• It's so gloomy, so cold.....What else is there to do?
• I'm just trying to keep up with my friends and family
• Is it REALLY hurting anyone?

This is simply WRONG thinking! Trying to justify my actions is WRONG! Trying to talk my way out of  clear instruction is WRONG! 

Is God going to continue to show me amazing things from his Word? Of course he will if I am willing! Will I continue to use my freed up time to drive me to the Word for wisdom? I pray it will be so.

"The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding" Proverbs 4:7

COST ALL YOU HAVE??? WOW! 

ALL -  The whole of one's energy or interest.

Isn't it interesting that if you go to the Word of God He WILL show you exactly what you need to hear? 

"The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper." Proverbs 19:8

Prosper -  “to help on the road” or “succeed in reaching.”

 "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere." James 3:17

Oh I LOVE THIS!! Why would I NOT want to FILL myself with the Word of God? Wisdom that comes from heaven is PURE (without flaw), WILLING TO YIELD (not stubborn and obstinate) and full of GOOD FRUIT (the outward deeds of the inward working of the Spirit). 

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, put painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

And just like that from the beginning of typing my thoughts full of frustration and sadness.... to the end....seeking God's guidance & discipline, I am restored to right thinking. He NEVER disappoints IF I can separate myself from selfish desires to actually be able to HEAR what it is he is trying to say.

God, I hear what you're saying. I confess I fail often with wrong thinking and blurred vision. I am sorry Lord. Thank you for your Word. Thank you for your patient guidance. Thank you for restoration. Thank you for ears to hear and eyes to see.   Help me to continue to remember that you waste nothing. You never said it would be easy, you actually said it will be painful, but you promise that your power will be made perfect in my weakness. Help me to continue to be drawn to your Word. Amen