Good & Perfect Gifts

Good morning! It's Saturday!

About 10 years ago I read a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. In the book she challenges you to be grateful for the gifts you might not see or acknowledge or gifts that you might think don't look like gifts at all. She invites you to think about gifts in the everyday mundane. For example, she wrote that she loved the curl that fell on her son's forehead. She never looked at it as a gift yet she noticed it, marveled at it and wrapped it around her finger as she held him. 

I took the challenge then and got to a list numbering about 300. A friend recently picked up the book and invited me to join her.  I accepted..... again. A different time of life and a stronger desire to recognize and acknowledge gifts, the simple life. 

"Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind,  for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things."

Psalm 107:8-9

I am on day seven and have logged 182 gifts....sunshine, a tidy house, green grass, chirping birds, sunrise, technology, eggs, tears, vision, ticking clocks, steam rising from my tea because who doesn't like a hot cup of tea? 

#179 says:

"Hard days... because I can see how God works it out". 

#179 flowed from my pen before I had a chance to question, to argue, to protest, to stomp my feet to say "NO, I'M NOT GRATEFUL FOR HARD!!" So there it sits....Why did that thought flow from my pretty green pen to my beautiful floral journal? Because it's the truth. And the fact that #179 is written, permanently on the page, will remind me again and again that God WILL work it out for my good and his glory. When I think I have zero control that's simply not true. When I feel helpless I'm actually not. I can wait and I will see how God works it out. 

Waiting is hard....

and sometimes the answer is not what I want...and honestly sometimes I don't even know what I want...but God...

"The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.  You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

Psalm 145:15-16

Perfect timing....HIS timing...

Yesterday the young woman that changed my life forever  was restored driving privileges for work.  What I know is that she served her prison sentence and fulfilled her probation period. She married and has a job. I get it...part of me has empathy for her. She can't wish away her current circumstances anymore than I can beg for it to have never happened in the first place. It's FOREVER.....sadly.

Was justice served? Here's what I know....

Five years ago I stood before a packed courtroom and forgave her and since that day I've prayed God would touch her heart and transform her. I told the judge that day that the only reason I was standing was because I serve a mighty God. I meant it then and I believe it now.

So today? I'm grateful. Grateful this is one of very few circumstances in my life I have not picked up again. That I have not allowed to destroy me. I gave her to God that day and have rarely thought about her since...... until these things come up.

Perhaps that will be #183 - grateful that I am not shattered by bitterness. 

Yes...#183 ✔ As sure as there's breath in my body #184 ✔ God is and will continue to be faithful. #185 ✔ So yesterday is done #186 ✔and today is a new day #187✔ another day to see my gifts #188 ✔

This life will often disappoint...sometimes it will bring you to your knees.... but God. Hallelujah what a Savior! 

Find Him in the little things!

Have a beautiful day! 

Be the hands and feet of Jesus! 

❤❤🖐🖐👣👣

Be Intentional

Good morning! It's Thursday! I shared this picture six years ago not knowing I only had 10 days left with my beloved husband.

It's shocking to me to see some of my posts pre-tragedy and realize I had no idea how true and REAL they would become. Though this statement was true then and it's true today I now know the depth to which it is true.

 
Through the power of friends, their prayers, their love, their steadfastness, their silence when no words would help and their words of love and care and kindness in perfect timing healing took place. God's perfectly placed blessings. Only God....friends, my biggest cheerleaders, my comforters, my prayer warriors.....

I will never forget (brings me to tears to this day) that day when I was so broken, so sick, literally starving and friends stood in my kitchen and chanted, CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! as I downed an Ensure. Then they cheered and clapped for my success. Those were terrifically hard times but they stood. Stood in the strength of Jesus for ME. I could never begin to repay that level of immense support. But I'm ever grateful for them.

 I also remember someone asking, "what can we do?" I said, "please keep coming...even if it's looks like I'm better" and they did then and still do to this day. The bonds between us have strengthened and life long friendships are sealed.

 
Every time a gentle breeze flows through my wind chimes I am reminded how friends loved me. Gifts arriving in the mail, pictures, blankets (some from those I've never met in person but have developed lasting cyber friendships)...all displayed as memories of how I've been loved well.

 
Advice? In a busy world when time is short and things get crazy... don't push your friends to last on your long to do list. Will good friends understand? Of course. That is one of the blessings of great friendships. But even better...ask for help, form a network, a support system.....LEARN (because, for women, it's not natural) to ask for help. After all that my friends have given to me sometimes it's hard for me to ask for more. Surely I've used up my lot....but that is wrong thinking!!!

 
Just last night I had dinner with a friend. She said something funny just as I took a drink of water and I spit my water right out. This morning as I was writing in my gratitude journal , entry # 140 says - "water spitting laughter". It's been a long time since I've experienced that kind of laughter. A gift she's given just by taking time from her busy life to, probably unknowingly, pour blessings into mine. A friend. .willing to walk a tough journey with me.

I love this scripture:

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

John 15:14

My church is currently in a series through Romans titled Intentional Relationships.

Intentional - done on purpose; deliberate.

* Picking up the phone
* Sending an email
* Shooting off a text
* Mailing a card
* Carving out time for coffee, lunch, dinner, a walk
* Keeping in touch, in tune
* Being supportive
* Being available

And when hard times come.... God's Word says "in this world you WILL have trouble but take heart I have overcome the world"....the system is set in place, rock solid and hearts will be served and healed in the most beautiful organic ways.

I sit here this morning, tears streaming down my cheeks, praising God for my friends. Words can never truly convey the depth of love and gratitude I have in my heart for all of them. 

Be intentional. 

Bless and be blessed today.
Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Who's Writing Your Story

 

Good Morning! It’s Monday! I was listening to a book on Audible yesterday morning and the author said this, “…..there’s a reason I’m not writing the story and God is…”. She was referring to a really devastating time in her family. She made the comment to her husband, “If I were writing the story, it would have a completely different ending.” I have felt that same thing over these last years. Certainly, I could have written a better ending, one not so tragic, so painful……so final. As I now have nearly six years to look back….oh how I remember that pain, so excruciating……. I would have given nearly anything for him to be here.

As a follower of Christ I have free will….I was so angry at Him and a million “whys” crossed my lips multiple times a day. But in that anger I never chose to leave Him behind even though I couldn’t read my Bible and I couldn’t pray. I’ve found great comfort in knowing that once I said yes to Him who is able to keep me from falling, that no matter how far I would stray he would be there to bring me back……a hundred times and more if necessary. His word PROMISES, “I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you”.  NEVER is a long, long time!

King Hezekiah did right in the eyes of the Lord. When he fell ill he wasn’t ready to die so he begged God to spare his life, to give him more time. God granted his request and Hezekiah lived another 15 years. During this time his son 

Manasseh was born. When Hezekiah died Manasseh succeeded him as King. One commentary described him as a “cruel tyrant”. Now, of course, nothing happens that God doesn’t plan and know about but I just find it curious that Hezekiah thought he had a better ending. I think that sometimes too. I, just like Hezekiah, have begged God for something different. A different ending. I remember thinking, “maybe this is all a really bad dream from which I’ll wake”. I thought that for weeks on end. I begged, “please, please, please let this be a nightmare”.

I didn’t think it then but I sure do now, “how arrogant of me to think I could possibly write a better story from my limited perspective.” Heck, I don’t even know what will happen an hour from now let alone tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…….how in the world could I write a story 30, 40, 50 years out. Oh I’m sure it would be rainbows and puppies. Lots of sunshine, no clouds, no cold, no snow…EVER, no pain, no striving, health, wealth and prosperity. Doesn’t sound terrible, right? But God…..I would have no need for him and my journey on earth would be just that. Sad…really…..

Each day, each mistake, each wrong decision, each hurt, each painful tragedy is growing me up to be like Christ! Oh my goodness, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be like! When I read his word and ponder the relationship I have with him I begin to realize that there is no better story. And the icing on the cake? It’s FOREVER! Who doesn’t want FOREVER?!

ETERNITY - infinite or unending time. "their love was sealed for eternity"

If I take the challenges, pain and tragedies’ of this life….of my 80 years, compared to paradise FOREVER with a Savior that loves me so much that he WANTS to grow me in his likeness (spoiler alert: being like Christ is an amazing goal)……well, I will stand firmly in that which is forever versus that which is temporary. There are real blessings in this life as God grows me. Is it easy? Sometimes not. Is it hard? Yes, many times it is. Is it worth it? Yes, always. When I’m in a particularly hard trial do I see Him working? Maybe not IN the moment but certainly always, in His timing.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

As He grows me in his likeness, I produce the fruit of the Spirit. Perfectly? No. But as I grow, displaying the fruit of the Spirit becomes more and more the desire of my heart. And that desire makes living through really tough times more bearable.

As I get older I realize just how much eternal security means to me. Not that it meant less before I just spend a whole lot more time thinking about it. I have less to distract me. And I’m grateful. Grateful that he has never left my side not one single time….not a single second.

I hope you know the Savior. I mean that from the depths of my heart. Your life will never be the same. No, not perfect. But even in the imperfection, even in the bad choices, even when we go astray for a time, your eternity is 100% secure. If you want to know him, ask him into your heart today. Ask him to change you, to challenge you, ask him to help you turn from whatever is holding you back from a full relationship with him. Ask Him to write your story. He IS faithful and he WILL do it!

Be blessed today!

Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

47 Day Journey

 

If you ask God to take you on an adventure.....if you ask him to show you things you never knew about yourself or things you know but need work, buckle your seatbelts and prepare for an amazing ride because;

"The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it."

Epiphany - the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphanea, "manifestation, striking appearance") is an experience of a sudden and striking realization. ... Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally follow a process of significant thought about a problem.

Epiphany is an “Aha!” moment. ... Often, an epiphany begins with a small, everyday occurrence or experience.

When I began to put together thoughts in my mind about the last 47 days, as was in the beginning is now at the end, my prayer was/is, "God, reveal to me what it is you want me to learn/share?"  Since what God has shown me is unique to me, it may or may not resonate with others but that is not my "job"........my "job" is to share and if God works my experiences through others that is HIS "job". All the glory and honor are HIS not mine. I am merely a vessel.  Among the many things I've learned which I've shared in previous posts, this one is THE single biggest, overall "issue" that I have. Prayerfully, I will do better. I heard it....I saw it....I felt it....now to take it and apply it!

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I was in my newly remodeled kitchen, cleaning, rearranging, putting things away and the thought came to my mind, "How in the world has this new space become SO cluttered?"  Looking back just six months ago at pictures I had such an excitement of how beautiful and spacious it was.....and SO clean...so new...I was so very blessed. What happened? It had lost that open, spacious, clean look. And I realized I had allowed it to become cluttered.

cluttered: to fill or cover with scattered or disordered things that impede movement or reduce effectiveness....

TRUE! 100%! So I began to "untangle"....removing the small TV sitting on the counter....placing the fruits and veggies in a place unseen.....removing various signs and "knick-knacks" and such that I've added since moving back in....remove, reduce, revive.

You might say, "Dianna, it's just a kitchen" but remember, God wastes nothing....if I'm listening.....

And just like that God revealed to me, "My dear child, you've cluttered your mind with disordered things that impedes MY movement and reduces MY effectiveness in your life".....That epiphany, my A-HA moment, REALLY took my breath right there standing in my kitchen.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.

Psalm 32:8-9"

.....which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.....

Is that me?! 

My heart....seriously, my heart was crushed at that moment. That I had "cluttered out" my Savior! The One who created me! Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! ←Read that again! 😖 Everything I NEED, everything I could ever WANT.

I've been retired for nearly two years already  and what a blessing that has been in so many ways. One of those blessings being that I am slowly falling into new patterns. And one of the downfalls being I am slowly falling into new patterns.

Sigh.....

Because I had no choice in becoming a widow in an instance, I am grateful for a slowing down and flowing into this new change. But I don't want to be like a horse or mule that must be curbed by a bit or a bridle to stay close to my Lord. 😩

Has that slowing down suddenly shifted my focus? Certainly I  did not retire to scroll through social media ad nauseum? Certainly not! What other ways am I impeding God's movement and reducing his effectiveness? 

What do I want my MAIN focus to look like? The desires of my heart are to serve others and serve in my church. What does that look like?  What does it look like in my everyday, small town life? As I rest in HIS will for my life I'm beginning to see his provision. It's exciting at times, overwhelming at times and quiet at times. I'm learning to lean into Him who is able and to release that which I cannot nor want to control. When it's exciting, I embrace it and "ride the wave". When I am overwhelmed I stand firm knowing that He will not give me more than I can handle. And when it seems quiet and I start to feel inadequate, lazy, left behind, disconnected I remind myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 

AND in His will is freedom. In His will is peace. In His will is rest. In His will is a calm I haven't felt in nearly six years. 💔

All of that said, I am thankful for the journey. I am thankful that God is faithful. I am thankful that I am a constant work in progress. I am thankful that I have not "arrived" and that I continue to learn every single day. I am thankful God never gives up on me. That I never have to feel like a lost cause. I AM worthy. I AM a child of God. Forever and ever. Amen.

And so concludes my 2021 Lenten journey. What an incredible journey it's been. ❤️